I've always hated heights.
I'm afraid of falling.
I'm scared to allow you in.
I put my walls up for a reason.
I've been hurt before.
I'm terrified of love.

And I cant be alone.

The look in your eyes
when you look at me
fills me with ice and mice
that feed
on my inside out
heart of stone
that was carved and and broke
to fit a mold
All Girls Like Me
colored hair, only smoke to breathe
have death in site
cuts ready to bleed
but if I could stare like this for even one minute more
my black inside
could break to the floor
the black will fade to a light shade of grey
then lighter and brighter
the longer I stay
you talk about pasts and
how things have changed
how I might have been hurt
but I’m not so deranged
I say “I’m not as great as I may seem.
my insides are dark. black the only color scheme”
“that's not true” you say holding my face.
“you’re more than that. there's no black in your space”
I disagree up and down
I can’t tell you how often I drown
in my heart and mind
I’ve been dead for years
how long it's been
since I’ve shed any tears
but since this heart of mine
met yours
I see all sorts
of open doors.
I hope one day to find
what color you see
for my broken mind
All Girls Like Me
are meant to run
but what should I do
now that that's no fun?

Those moments when I do not know what to do ..
Should I text him or not?
Should I invite him or not?
Should I ask him or not?
Should I care for him or not?
Should I be bothered about him or not?

The hardest is this ..
Should I love him or not?

Should I?

Kisses between conversations,
Red roses and dark chocolate,
Beautiful gowns and flashing lights,
Fierce, wild, reckless love,
This was their life.

Residing in the sleepless city,
Showered with money, fame, and splendour:
The golden boy and the magical girl.
They had it all, they did,
Youth and life to them was forever.

Yet on one silent morning
As the sun rose,
They staggered home, slightly drunk,
Coming from some grand party in Long Island.

They look outside to the sea of buildings.
She pointed out the newspaper vendor below,
He pointed out the lady sweeping the street,
They watched a little happy family stroll along the sidewalk.

Then together, they asked themselves silently:
*What now?