Well it would seem I've fallen into this current world,
Slept in too long and skipped the past.
Found myself awakened by the thoughts in my mind.
A simple conversation to clear the fog of the winter nights.
With neon lights carving lines in the dirt, directing them with influences and tricks.
To better fill their pockets and pride.

Well maybe I'm crazy, but looking back it all looks right.
Maybe my "gut instinct" is more than an instinct.
Maybe I've found myself, lost in this river.
In the calming flow, of ever changing chaos.

Here I am, as real as stone,
I am no dream, feel my flesh and bone.
In these words I’ll present my honesty
and tonight you’ll give me only silence.
You’re the missing puzzle piece, and the best of me,
but pushing the piece down only creates defiance.

Here I am, this is no test,
I am no ghost feel the beat from my chest.
In these words I’ll present all I want to say
but can never untie my tongue,
You’re the sun, the moon, the night and the day,
my oxygen to each empty, shrunken lung.

Listen to me, I’m terrible at declarations,
but I’m honest to a fault and love to confess.
I’ll be detailing with no abbreviations
everything you wish to know and nothing less.
The clock has stopped, maybe it’s hand is broken,
or perhaps the batteries just finally ran dry.
But it’s now time out, something’s need to be spoken
the who, when, what, how and most of all the why.

I’ll meet your eyes
and tell you only the truth,
Love, you light my morning skies
and bring me back to my youth.
My dreams are slaves to you
but sleep’s been slipping through my fingers,
just please tell me what to do
cause this devotion only lingers.

No silver medal, no second string,
I was tired of rotting on the bench.
Foot’s on the pedal, I’m in the ring,
my thirst’s begging for quench.
I’m a light weight champion with my eyes on the prize
even knocked out I’ll be back again,
are you really that surprised?

I’ll meet your eyes
and give you all you want from me,
Love, you light my morning skies
and make me who I’m meant to be.
Our skin will mesh in place
like we were made to combine,
and each inch my fingers trace
is the definition of divine;
I am yours and you are mine.

You might be my lightbringer
as you always banish the dark,
palm to palm, finger meets finger,
softness can still leave a mark.
You light my morning skies
you are the controller of the sun,
pushing me to awake and rise
and giving strength to get things done.

If insanity is a crime, I am on for a death penalty.

If dreams belong to a third world, I am definitely not earthly.

If man is to partake but in all societies, I doubt my species.

If hearts are closed to love and close to feud, I am so hollow in the chest.

And if it is truth everyone claims to own, I am most certainly a liar.

I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.

It would have been one year today...
One year if I had made you stay

One year minus; twenty plus one day
That's when you took your love away
It would have been one year today...

It's not; and that makes my heart tear,
that we never made it one full year,

and you are no longer here...

We didn't make it the full year round
Still wishing you're safe and sound.
It would have been one year today…
one year if I could've made you stay

It will fade eventually...
It has to fade eventually!

Neuron paths used less frequent fade, right?
The road less traveled will become an overgrown stony, bumpy path instead of this autobahn in my mind, this highway of thoughts you have created.

I'm sure it will fade eventually...
I'm sure it HAS to fade eventually.

I wanted to write you something happy and silly today. Instead I don't know what to say...and knowing me, you know that's not really my way...

But may I say one tiny thing before the celebrations begin? It's not going to be epic or even pretty...but once you made my heart serenade. Now I'm a spectator looking in I'm afraid... I'm standing here outside your life with nothing to bring. I wanted to give you eternal friendship and love but there's no need for what you already have in plenty.

So my gift this year is nothing; it's empty.

I've wrapped it in moonlight and waves of the ocean, attached a card inked in golden dreams and magic, because those things you can never get enough of. So my gift this year is hollow and empty but maybe you'll save the wrappin paper in your heart? Nicely folded amongst memories of sunshine, moons and stars (even stolen cars.)

Maybe you'll open it once in awhile? Pick up my wrapper and remember the gift of nothing from a Swedish girl wishing infinite joy for the birthday boy? That was all I wanted to say…that… and Happy birthday!