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I can't unlove because I am
Impatient, selfish.
I love as if I cannot be hurt.
Going on as if nothing is wrong.
I cannot unlove because I know not how.
I spend my nights awake dreaming of how everything should have been.
The speeches I have amongst myself
Lost in complete darkness.
Accepting the sound of my voice as an I told you so.
Seeking a dream that seems so far away.
I can't unlove because I accept disappointment.
The contempt of putting others first without fear.
I truly believe I cannot unlove because I am in love.
Young again in thought running wild, free.
I consider it a perk.
Being the only other person I know how to be.
No longer embarrassed of facing the opposite end of the mirror.
Finding that the most important things bring the most smiles.
I am far from perfect
But I cannot unlove as if I made some sort of mistake.
Purposely mistaking myself as a fool
Moments pass,
Days go by,

Time, it is too honest -
Arrogant, not shy.

It comes, and it goes,
It cares not, for your emotions,

It steals your dreams,
It throws them into
the deepest depths,
of the darkest, vastest oceans.

Time, it spares no pain,
It reminds you, constantly,
That it will soon take you...

It trys so hard
to make you anxious -
It will eventually break you!

It teases you
with the most pleasurable moments,
Those, that you will never forget...

It gives you special memories -
most precious,
and a few,
that you may live long enough
to regret.

Time, is an absolute blessing.
However, its inevitable end,
feels like a massive curse,

Time,
It ticks away faster
As you get older,
Making all of your anxieties
Feel horribly worse.

Time, it is impetuous,
And, unfortunately,
There a many souls
Who lack appreciation
For every blessed, precious,
Unstoppable second.

Sadly, they realise this,
Only when their final moments
Are about to come - when their last Breath is about to be taken;
When their soul
Has been beckoned.

Time,
It kisses you,
Then it runs,

It causes chaos,
Daily.
But, still,
With every second of it,
That we are blessed,
It makes us,
The lucky ones!

By Lady R.F ©2016
 Nov 2016 Anto MacRuairidh
J
9 months have passed and I still feel small
I threw away everything, photos and all
I felt empty for months, angry this fall,
but now I'd give anything to be your next call.

Your tactics were perfect, like beautiful seas
I was so eager to let you control me
Because surrendering felt like ectasy
And your grip around my neck had warming properties
 Nov 2016 Anto MacRuairidh
SZ
If there is
Just one thing I could do differently
I would go back to that night
And catch every single tear
That fell from your eyes
Just wanted to know if I could go home
You've kept me here far too long
I've stood in the drunken downpour
While you berate me with your stubborn core

I miss all my friends and the ones that let me in
There's ink missing from my timid pen
Yet here you are to offer it back up
Right when the chaos erupts

And here we go again
With our sparks and our ends
Are we dancing for ourselves when the lights cave in
Or can we even distinguish the love we began with
Its just for us and all that we extinguish

You and I
You and I
You and I
All for you
Inspired by Jeff Buckley
"I'm not mad."

Narrator: She was angry. And maybe even a little resentful.
I don't know which is worse,
Feeling okay despite of the devastating events happening
or do nothing because you can't change anything.
 Nov 2016 Anto MacRuairidh
B
Home
 Nov 2016 Anto MacRuairidh
B
When did your home stop feeling like a home? Was it when the clocks stopped ticking? Or when the lights started flickering and you were too tired to change the bulbs? Was it when the flowers leading up the drive way wilted? Or when the windows became too hard to open because they were stuck? Did you realize it when the shower was always a touch too cold and your sink wouldn't drain completely? Was it when your favorite foods didn't taste the same way and your fridge was always empty? Was it when the candles you've always burned didn't have a wick to light anymore? Maybe home was never really home. A home doesn't take more than it gives. A home is what protects you, not makes you feel vulnerable. A home keeps you warm, not allows you to shiver until your muscles ache. A home is what keeps the light inside your eyes lit and keeps the flame in your heart burning. A home would never blow that flame out. Maybe your home wasn't your real home. You were just renting it until you could settle into your permanent one.
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