my love is building a building
around you,a frail slippery
house,a strong fragile house
(beginning at the singular beginning

of your smile)a skilful uncouth
prison, a precise clumsy
prison(building thatandthis into Thus,
Around the reckless magic of your mouth)

my love is building a magic, a discrete
tower of magic and(as i guess)

when Farmer Death(whom fairies hate)shall

crumble the mouth-flower fleet
He’ll not my tower,
                        laborious, casual

where the surrounded smile
                                hangs

                                          breathless

maybe this was supposed to happen
maybe you were supposed to let me go
and I don't blame you--
my darkest deepest parts leaked out
into your broken hands and like
wine they stained--
some days I still feel like needing you
some days I feel at home--
written in the stars our heartbreaks
led us to each other
then led us both away--

again it has happened,
that radio silence, that
perfect broken brilliance;
so familiar, so threatening,
that hum of anxious breaths
and tongues and chests,
my glass has shattered
again and the blood has
filled the floor and i
step towards you too eager
to kiss the wounds
on your feet and ankles
and pray to god you
kiss me back and you do;
there is a nineteen-year-old
inside whose heart begins
to burst but there is a grown
woman out here pretending to
be into this tragedy
this destruction of naivety
this stranger who continues
to call himself my friend;  
maybe one day he'll mean it

I’m just so angry
That you kissed me and
Walked away
And that you missed me
And that all these men line
Up for a chance to taste
This body but never this
Soul and I’m so angry
That everything I’ve prepared for
Is never going to happen,
That my grandchildren
May never see snow,
That I may never feel peace
Again, that my heart aches
Constantly. Just constantly.
My home feels like a trap and I’m
Walking through molasses towards
My death and I’m angry
That nobody is here to hold my hand

And so I turned my poems
Into a hot air balloon
And held on until the clouds
Were suffocating,
Until like ants you disappeared
Into the earth.
The oxygen eventually depleted
And while choking for air
I grasped still to these words,
These fleeting moments of
Clarity,
Until darkness consumed me
At last

the wind knocked out of me
it was time to say goodbye
and my world was crumbling,
your hands on my waist to stabilize
my hands on your chest to beg
i haven't stopped crying
since you walked out the door
and it hurts, all the time, the wind
has not come back, your birthday
is coming up and all i want is
to pack myself into
a perfect little box for you
and be sent to your doorstep
would you want that?
would you cry with happiness?
do you remember the way
my hair smelled, the way
that twin sized bed became a
sanctuary and we worshiped
and prayed and were
reborn?
**** on my neck and thighs and chest,
till my blood is emptied, till the wind returns,
till these memories are reality again

and this aching in my stomach is
stretching me wide open
and its beginning to hurt
and the future seems so elusive
yet it is here, and on its way.
every person i've ever kissed
has left a bruise on my soul
and i'm leaking, overflowing with
an indescribable empathy for
dancers with broken feet,
for lovers with mismatched tongues
for poets with thesaurus thieves;
the butterflies abandoned me long ago
and this echoing inside my hollow chest
those pretty sounds that
had me head over heels are
memories, only;
i am a memory, only,
hoping and praying i'll forget