Let's stop mid-scream and steal a moment of sanity
Hold on to your vanities, your profanities
Let me help

Let me tell you a story
'Tis grim and gory

Follow me home, follow me home
Make me feel unsafe
Make me feel like prey
In this jungle of concrete and brick

Your judgements are bullets
With eyes for triggers
**** me.

Intentions, retentions, preventions
Our sinful innocence will be the end of us
We walk into burning buildings
Yet we are not fireproof

We have never been
Fireproof.

This espresso tastes like poison,
In spite of all I've added to cover the sweet bitterness

I want to release rather than increase
Release rather than increase

My mind is full, from my ears to my neck to my head,

A consistent pressure throbs
It robs me of peace
Of Mind

We all go through it
We are slaves
We are victims
Of long forgotten systems

We live to work, and work to live
Work to eat, and eat to work
An endless cycle of compromise

Open your eyes
Your senses
Smell the prosperity, the disparity
The paradox
Watch the rise of Pandora's Box

Feed, greed, need
I've planted the seeds of doubt
And watched them grow
Into luminous, prosperous trees

They are silhouettes against the sun
And against the backdrop of the moon

You live in a cocoon
Awaiting a metamorphosis that may or may never be
I live in a cocoon
Awaiting a metamorphosis that may
Or may never
Come

Sleep is for the weak
Power through it
The escape is unwarranted

Give it a shot
Get under the influence
In congruence  
With the waking mind

Do you feel it?
No?
Keep going.

Caffeine, caffeine, sugar and caffeine
The underlying emotions
Unseen

Ouch
Do you feel that?
The devotion
Erosion
Do you hear that?
The commotion?
Boom.
The explosion?

The thoughts, heart
Eternal

Head heavy
Stay calm and steady
It’s just gravity

Get down.
Down down down
Drown
Why the frown?
Can you feel the water rising?
Slowly, menacing, suffocating?
Smile
Come on
Close your eyes
You just need a little compromise

Push harder
Faster
Stronger
Endure.
Sleep is for the weak.

The trees quiver in the cool winter winds,
Dancing silhouettes soaking in the rain

Analysis, analysis, paralysis, I will be the end of us
Incessant thoughts swirl through my mind. I cannot
Control their poison spreading through my veins,
To my nerve endings, shattering all illusions of control

We were birds soaring in the sunlit sky
Majestic, wings flutter and stabilize
Blinded by the sun, unaware
Of the details
High with adrenaline, on illusion

We are birds, shying away from the gray
Gloom of the winter sky when it is
About to rain.

I go through the motions
Of the ocean waves
Haunted by illusions of control

I stumble and fall, into the water
Breathing it in
The poison burning my lungs
As I choke

I try to unlock
What lies beyond
But I am stiff and motionless

Emotionless
The corrosiveness
Eating at my very core

You wont see it

The lack of control
The rise and fall, of the waves
As they crash into me
As they wash me ashore

You wont see me cease to breathe
The water weighing my lungs down
The water making me bleed
With a full frontal collision

I am collateral damage
I am the aftermath of disaster
I am the sadness
Thereafter

I am the chaos, the calm,
The lightning and the fog
I am a motionless corpse

You wont see it
When I cough and stand
Brush off the sand
As I rise and stumble back into the ocean
As the waves destroy me once more
As my body is washed ashore
Again

You wont see me

When I nod and smile
While you speak
When I cheer, as you peak
When I fall to the ground
When you turn around
Never to get up again.

I’ve got all the symptoms and signs
But I am in denial

The rollercoasters, the rides
The constricting confines
Of the oceans
The commotions
Of the mind

But I am fine

I’ve got all the symptoms and signs
In the depths of despair
I no longer compare, to what once was
I no longer wonder what could be
I just am

‘tis the disease that defines
the soul
the whole
the mind

‘tis the disease that defines
the loss
the gross restrictions
the contradictions
intertwined, by design
by affliction

are you a victim?

I’ve got all the symptoms and signs
Of the disease that defines
The Death of Control
And the Birth of Disaster.

The waves splay lazily, pushing and pulling back
I am one of many shells decorating the ocean shore

The air is humid
It smells of salt and sea
It smells of solitude

She sells sea shells on the seashore
I am on display on her table
I am glamour and gore

I am quiet and calm
I am an ornament
I am purchased, and then thrown away

I am an empty shell on the seashore
Surrounded by wet sand
Apprehensive of the hand
Outstretched to reach me
To pick me up
To take me from home

I am empty, but you can’t tell
When I smile, laugh, and yell
You’ll think I’m full

My veins have been drained of blood
Of compassion, sympathy, and love
I am dry, running on empty

But you’ll never know that my insides disintegrate
When I hand more to you

There’s a constant throbbing in my heart, with no relief
So I clutch my chest when no one’s looking


No one’s ever looking


But when I look at you
I laugh, I smile
And you look at me and reciprocate
And I wonder,
If you’re empty too.

I've used up all my bandaids
And lost them all

My days compare
to a rollercoaster's rise and fall

Rather than the steady trail of a train

Where are all my bandages? I cant find them
I used them for my wounds
But they disappeared

The cuts burn
And the bruises bleed

I no longer care

I have no bandages and no bandaids
I can't complain
The wounds are self-inflicted
I relish the pain

It's alright
The wounds are a work of art
Emotional
Delusional
Dysfunctionally comfortable

But what good is a bandaid
To a broken soul
A painkiller
To a faulty heart
What good is a smile
To hidden tears?