I am love, I am hate, I am future, I am fate.
I am all things that form under a summer’s night: hot sticky reality being shoved into the face of those that believe themselves exempt from it.
I am what light shines on and where trees grow, I am the nature that makes life possible and what makes society go.
I am a shark to those who bleed their prey, and a dove to those who accept my nature. I am a kiss to those who need one, and a fist for those who deserve one
I am Human- the biggest mystery of them all.

The time has come,
to find a better way,
don't want to feel undone,
don't want to run away.

It's been a life of beautiful experiences,
a life full of chaos and fears,
so many difficult obstacles,
the days has turned into years.

Finding a different course to take,
it has been a road filled with love,
making memories happen everyday,
this is a life dreamed of.

My lips weren’t made for kissing.
I fear they’ve forgotten how, most times
It’s been years
since I practiced
speaking the language
of bodies
of heated palms and parted lips
of skin on skin

Would you be willing to relearn with me?
Spend long nights with
our heads bowed over foreign text books
I promise to add
my knowledge to yours
if you promise to stroke
my spine
to whisper and gasp this language
as it comes back to me

I’ve never pulled an all-nighter
to study a subject
but I swear
that to learn this language
I’ll meet with you
every night
like there’s an exam the next day

I’ll spend hours on each sound
whole days on single words
mouthing my way
until I’ve memorized
that week’s vocabulary
then go just a bit longer,
never hurts to be sure,
just in case I’ve missed something

I’ll use my tongue as a highlighter
brightening spots
I never want to forget
with color that rises
from beneath your skin
and revisit them often
to make sure
they stick in my memory

And when we need to run through the lists
we can press our lips
together
(to make sure we’re
pronouncing it right)
We may even
have to keep it up
for hours
to get the whole list right
until we’re perfectly in sync.

Everyone knows it takes years
to learn a new language
but I’d sacrifice decades
to be fluent
in you.

My mind is a-buzzing
So many thoughts flitting about
Of friendships, love, and life
Each one begging to be let out

But my mind is a prison
And my fear the warden
My thoughts are the prisoners
But I'm the only victim

My thoughts scream,
Set me free to follow my dreams
My fears reply,
**What dreams? You belong to me

I blame it on the easy things,
my parents,
past relationships,
black holes.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.
Deciding to stop
when they told me to go.
Screaming out "yes"
as I was choking down "no."
Pressing the pedal
when I should've gone slow.
My actions and my words
never quite match up.
Saying I'm healthy
as smoke fills my lungs.
Calling myself an atheist
but telling it to God.
Sitting here wondering,
When will I stop?
I can blame it on the easy things,
stimulants,
a chemical imbalance,
the doctors white coat.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.

If the man you once were saw ahead of time where he would be today,
I know that he wouldn't have allowed this day to come.
A picture of your face would be a reminder in his mind's eye of who he could become if he were to wander away from the light.
I miss that man.
I miss the hope that came with the idea of God.
Its much the same, really.
But the effects of your failure are much more devastating than the let down I feel from the higher father.
And I can still see you with my own eyes.