Sometimes the things I say
don't match up with
what's in my head.
It's kinda like
how our blood is blue
but when we bleed it's red.

break me
shatter me
then ruin me

take everything from me
make me feel rage
and let me forget what happiness was
then strip my innocence away

now, let hell break loose.

I need my solitude to reflect on anything and everything. To bring closure to unfinished thoughts, and keep track of changes that I've so aggressively and carelessly lunged myself into. Emotions have to be under control. Everything else falls apart if your emotions are destructive. Progression comes from passion, in both negative and positive backdrops.  YOUR world is perceived by YOUR emotions. My world is what I want it to be.

"Do you have someone you think about constantly, someone you just can't get out of your head?"
"No."
"You are free from your own thoughts. I envy you. I wish my mind was as peaceful as yours. I wish mine was as peaceful as it used to be. Because all I see before I close my eyes before I sleep is him. And all I want to see when I open them in the morning is him. And how it hurts, it ******* hurts to know that it will never happen."
"Why do you still torment yourself over him?"
"Because no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to let go."

Last night when I went to bed
I had the most wonderful dream
I dreamt we both fell in love
I was King and you where Queen
I could lavish you with so many gifts
Playing my loving caring part
But the biggest gift of them all
Came from my loving heart
I could give you my whole kingdom
But that's not what love should be
For you already carry my gift
To my heart you hold the key

6/10/2015

Poetry?
*******.
These are words
in a mess of spilled ink.
Words that spiral out of my head
onto lined paper.
I am not poetic.
I am a mess of unfinished thoughts
and empty words
driven by madness.