Sadness needs no invitation
no open house
or big party
sadness shows up on your doorstep
whenever it chooses
4am on a snowy night
or 3pm on a sunny day
It has no reason or rhyme sometimes
It just seeks you out
and decides to crash on your couch
an unwelcome guest, sadness is
often overstaying any welcome given

You can move homes
You can run away
but sadness is quite the detective
even in the best hiding spots
it will eventually seek you out
and invite itself back into your life

We laughed
We cried
We said our goodbyes

Did you see my ex
she looks like a mess
thrown back hair
and sweatpants
reminds me of the days
we spent in bed
longing to stay there
but knowing we'd eventually
fall apart

anyone I've loved
I will always love
unless they give me
a reason to hate them
I just can't not love them
their voice reminds me
of all the lovely
compliments we passed back and forth
their smile reminds me
of all the times
we made each other laugh
their touch brings me back
to all the times we touched in the past
to the moments we held each other
alone together

and no matter where I am in life
when I see them
it makes my heart tingle
because it still knows their name
it knows their favorite candy
and the way they played with my hair
and it can't forget how happy
those moments were
even if they are in the past forever.

A hot tea on a cool summer day reminds me:
that even in the blistering summer heat
the clouds can provide shade
that even in the most brutal of winters
you can feel the sun on your cheeks

Why do you think it's okay
to send me snaps
of your shirtless self?

Maybe we were there once
Maybe I was okay with it even after we broke up
for a while
but life has moved on

I have someone else now

I don't need to see your chest hairs
when I talk to you

It's not uncommon
for me to question my future
and not know what I want
for my life

All the uncertainty frightens me
and when the options are weighing me down
I cling to what I do know

**I know that I love you