our once upon a time was
lost on hopeful memories,
dancing in the midst of
the things you wanted to forget.

i want to see you undo it.

my dream-stained heart is in
love with you
my heart races with your
head on my shoulders,
replacing the weight
of the world.

i want to see you undo it.

high voltage in your artsy
fingertips
like a sweet lullaby.
are you okay?

i want to see you but you're not mine.

i'm rolling
trying to change
where i'm going
and all of my habits
you said i'd change
but i still haven't
look at how bad i'm damaged

sixteen
you're only a little
younger than me
but it doesn't matter
you don't love me because
i flatter
you, yeah you know
that i won't get better

but somehow in this path and
along the rocks that haven't lasted
it doesn't matter how the past fits
in this
lifted
up to be buried beneath
the secrets
i didn't feel his love like i needed
but you make me feel bright
like i'm glued into the sky

i'm sorry
that couldn't get rid
of my folly
and all of my anxious feelings
you always know
what i need and
somehow i'm so incomplete
my thoughts are constantly speeding

impulsive
the water looked cold
but i dove in
and all i saw was starlight
as we walk together
side by side
you are still mine right?

but somehow in this path and
along the rocks that haven't lasted
it doesn't matter how the past fits
in this
lifted
up to be buried beneath
the secrets
i didn't feel his love like i needed
but you make me feel bright
like i'm glued into the sky

careful babe, i'm wasting away
i'm knee-deep in dreams i let fade away
before the days were gone.
would you believe me if i said
that i didn't mean to?
falling in love felt like falling into place
and with you i feel at home.
i've never felt safe i've always felt anxious
drowning in yesterday and all of the what ifs.
what if i faded into you
on a sweet night in october?
you'd be too young and i'd be old enough
for no one to care
if i felt the weight of the world
on my shoulders.
spit me out and call me baby,
drain my faith and let me go,
even though
you said you'd never
be like everyone else
and lie to me.

This.

You.
Me.
Us.

It feels like I knew you and everything you are
Before I even met you.

I feel so comfortable when I'm with you.
Like every moment I spend with you
Is more than just a moment.
It's all I ever wanted
And flawless and mine

You are really so much to me and
I don’t think that anyone could get how
You make me feel as if I am
Better than I am.

But nothing lasts forever and
I know this better than anyone.
With my tattered heart's edges
And my abandonment issues.
I know that despite your promises
You will leave.
And I can't stand the thought of being without you.

Not being able to hold your hand,
To hear you tell me you love me,
To get those texts from you
That make me lose my mind.
And make me feel sane all at once,
It's my nightmare.

I know that despite what you feel
Right now, one day you'll see
The beasts in me,
And you will leave.

Babe,
I love you.
I love you so much,
More than anything in the world.
But nothing lasts forever
And you will leave
Eventually.

But for now,
I'll just put you inside of my chest
And hold you in my arms,
Because at least one of those places,
You can't leave.

you make me jittery
restless and blistery
you wrap me up,
warm but bitterly

you are my cup of coffee

you undo me.
no edge left untouched
no string left unpulled-
you undo me.

but underneath these tattered edges
and this unloved spine,
and inside of my burning ember eyes
and blood/love drenched heart,
is something that loves
something that's loved.
you undo me.

i don't want to rush this
because even without the
butterflies in my stomach flying
into your lips
you undo me.
god, you undo me.

i've got a weak heart with a strong heartbeat
and it's struggling to remember the thrills of affection
with out the pain of shaking, and tears and wanting
to say sorry when i did nothing wrong. i put
too much pressure on myself
and no one understands how much i love you.

it's like i'm choking on memories of boys
who aren't you and girls who don't actually want
me.

it's like the world is always telling me i can't
it's like everyone especially myself knows
i can't do this ****.

i going to bed, love.

please be there when my eyes flicker open.

and maybe our time in the light will come.