5 pm
I want comfort

6 pm
I found misery instead.

7 pm
I want to slit my throat,

8 pm
I think I've lost my head.

9 pm
I seek destruction,

10 pm
Please put me on my deathbed.

11 pm
I only breathe,

12 pm
You might as well consider me dead.

For a few moments, I want to swallow the past,
to stare in the face this old chapter of life.
time have come for a final reading
and see what I did and did not wrong.
delete characters, events,
to forgive them and forgive mine.
there is not much time and I would have to start again
to write my own end, to build my new time line
and conserve most pleasant moments,
to just take less from people,
so I can write about beauty and truth.

but this is just a chapter, of my former life
and undo is a fairy tale of memories
and the point of this is writing a new chapter in life.

no matter how much he means to you
do not ever take a boy to all
of your favourite places because
when you are walking around your
old city and go to your favourite park
all you will be able to see is him
kissing you under the big fig tree
or his arms wrapping around your waist
by the pond where the ducks feed
and it will no longer be your favourite park
and he will have ruined yet another thing
that was so special to you.