How many times
Have I thought about killing myself
How many times
Have I thought about ending it all
How many times
Has that dark angel visited me

Time and time again
The anguish
The pain
The utter emptiness
That is life
Has almost shattered me

My tears fall
Like acid rain
Tearing me apart
Ripping me to shreds

I saw her first across the bowling alley,
Laughing at her own gutter ball.
She flipped her long black hair
Over her shoulder;
She wore a golden cross necklace
That bounced lazily against her
Beautiful olive colored skin.
Lady Gaga blaring from the speakers
Prompted her to dance back to her friends,
Who smile at her antics.
All of a sudden, she looks over at me, and
I try to pretend I wasn’t staring,
But it’s too late.
She smiles shyly, without her teeth,
Just a slight turn of her pink lips,
And her cheeks redden slightly.
Whatever manliness I still had in me
Melted when I saw her smile.
I smile back in what I think is a cute way.
My friends cries break thought my thoughts,
“It’s your turn!”  “Go already!”
Yet I can’t break my eyes off of her.
She goes to her friends and sits down,
Sips her Coke quietly.
“Go!”
I look at the clock.
I’ve wasted five minutes of the game.
I blame the girl in Lane 7.

Every day after school I ran through it,
Skirting around the trunks,
Ducking under the leaves,
My laughter echoing through the trees.
My cherry orchard.
My friends used to walk through it,
And when they got to my house,
They would always have red stains
On the bottoms of their shoes from
My cherry orchard.
Every year when the blossoms came out
In early May, I would take pictures for
Hours, enjoying the peace,
Playing with the symmetry when you looked down a row in
My cherry orchard.
And even though the trees were
Stripped from the ground and burned
I still visit it,
My friends still walk through it,
And every year I will look back at
My pictures and remember
My cherry orchard.

I wish I was a normal girl.
The kind that smiles while she dances around in circles,
Having the wind laughing along whipping her dress around.
The kind that has happy thoughts swirling around in her head,
as she looks up at the stars in the sky.
Instead I cry.
I wish I was a normal girl.
The kind that giggles after every funny sounding word,
Or spends hours on end laughing with her girls.
Instead I cry.
I wish I was a normal girl.
I mourn the loss of my beautiful self.
I used to laugh.
I used to play.
I used to run.
All I had to do was simply wish the bad thoughts away,
but now they taunt me for they're here to stay.
I wish I was a normal girl.
But I'm plagued with depression,
A depression that ***** all my beautiful life away.
Before I pray the lord my soul to take,
I hope I can be a normal girl.
Just to feel alive once more,
And enjoy the beauty of life again,
Much like I did when I was four.