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4.3k · Feb 2015
Perfect doesn't mean Perfect
Gwendolyn Feb 2015
No more scars.
No more pills.
No more cigarettes.
No more drugs.
No more alcohol.
Get perfect.
Be perfect.
Stay perfect.
Don't make waves.

P is for pretty
E is for entertain
R is for respectful
F is for faithful
E is for enthusiastic
C is for careful
T is for tame

2500 monsters.
1500 monsters.
1000 monsters.
500 monsters.
250 calories.

More scars.
More pills.
More cigarettes.
More drugs.
More alcohol.
Get perfect.
Be perfect.
Stay perfect.
So many waves.

P is for petty
E is for exciting
R is for right
F is for *******
E is for eccentric
C is for callous
T is for terrible

Funny how things change
3.7k · Jul 2013
A Similar Antonym
Gwendolyn Jul 2013
My conscience
That has been there
Since I was four
Making sure
That I wasn't in trouble

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Long, straight brown hair
Chocolate eyes
Freckles cover her face
Extremely tall

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Shy, but outgoing
Depending on who's around
Impossible to stay mad at
Makes bad choices
From time to time

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin


Silent treatments
Loud fights
Best Friends

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

She is a rock
She is string
She holds things together
She calms the sea
Or starts a storm

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Embarrassing moments
Weird looks
Always crazy
She gets through the bad things
Helps start the good

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Puzzles, swim team
Life changing
Life calming
Starts Chaos
She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Two sides
Same coin
Same person
Different personalities
Quiet in public
Crazy in not

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Keeps things going
She is a bank
A bank of secrets
She keeps the vault
Locked

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

She is like a storm
And the calm before it
Chaos and control




She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Listens to music
Like the rest of the world
But yet, doesn't conform
At least not completely

She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

Easily molded
But not easily shaped
She is not always there
Yet she is


She is string
She holds me together
She is a storm
Starts chaos
She is a two sided coin

She taught me
That I
Didn't have
To be
Completely
Alone
1.9k · Jun 2013
Swimming
Gwendolyn Jun 2013
When I am in the water
Completely submerged
I laugh at the people who wish to fly
Because when I am swimming
The water is my sky
And I am a ******* bird
1.9k · Jul 2014
A Mutual Understanding
Gwendolyn Jul 2014
There is this girl I know
She used to be happy and carefree
She used to laugh and dance
Always seeing the good things in life
In people
Always receiving good in return

Until she stopped receiving good
She received pain
And suffering
And loss
She tried to stay happy
She really did

Then she meet him
He made her scared
He made her quiet
He made her behave
But in the worst way

He left
But she didn't fully come back
Her smiles were a little more forced
And her laughs a little less real

Then he died
She cried
He was her grandfather
They were close
She broke

Time healed her wounds
But they would never close completely
Leaving a gap
Making it easy for someone to slither in
And break her

Then he came
He made her strong
But only when she was with him
He made them one
Attaching hooks in her still open wound
She said no
He said yes
Then he left

She was now half there
But no one knew
Cause she didn't tell anyone
She still hasn't
Her smiles were now plastered on
Her laugh a little more harsh

Then she left
Without a word
Leaving her wondering
What she did wrong
Still to this day
She doesn't know

Now she's here
Pieces being held together
By cigarettes and Jack Daniels
By a pen and notebook
Leaving her smile in pieces
Her laugh in the dark
And her heart destroyed

But no one knows
Cause she hasn't told anyone
But when I look into the mirror
And see her staring at me
I know we never will
1.8k · Jun 2014
Well Now You Know Why
Gwendolyn Jun 2014
"Shes useless."  My dad whispers to my mom
Talking about another mistake
"Shut the **** up!" My dad yells at my face
Stopping me from contradicting his hurtful words
"Why can't she do anything right?" My dad mutters to himself
Staring at my below average report card

If you ask me why I never tryout for anything
I'll say, "I'm useless."
If you ask me why I've stopped talking
I'll say, "I need to shut the **** up."
If you ask me why I sit and do nothing
I'll say, "I can't do anything right."

*All he ever does is tell me how I have messed up 107 ways in life, and then wonders why we never talk.
1.3k · Jul 2014
Please Stay
Gwendolyn Jul 2014
I'm flying while your falling and I don't know what to do.
Your end is much more permanent, and I can't live without you.
Faster and faster my hearts beating now.
Higher and higher we are getting off the ground.
You seem to be stuck on the floor.
I don't know if I can stay with you anymore

Stay with me,
Oh stay with me.
Stay with me until you're sure you won't leave.
Cause I can't take,
Another heartbreak.
I can't just be another mess in your wake.

Cause you're...

Catastrophic, chaotic, no good for me.
Still I find myself yelling please.
Stay with me for just one more night
Stay with me until you see the morning light.

So...

Stay with me,
Oh stay with me.
Stay with me until you're sure you won't leave.
Cause I can't take,
Another heartbreak.
I can't just be another mess in your wake.

No I can't take,
Another heartbreak.
I won't be another girl in your wake.
This is a song I wrote.
1.3k · Jul 2013
Fuck This
Gwendolyn Jul 2013
***** writing
  **** poetry
   **** happiness
   **** prosperity
     **** ambition
      **** love
       **** greatness
        **** living
         **** fulfillment
          **** light
           **** good
            **** strength
             **** self control
              **** self preservation
               ********* for making me so weak
1.2k · May 2013
Immortality
Gwendolyn May 2013
Some say they want to live forever
They say they never want to grow old
They say it would be easier
But
What they don't know is the pain
The pain of watching
Everyone you love die
Knowing you will never join them
Soon you decide it would be better
To be alone
Loneliness will be all they have left
The longevity if immortality is
No longer inviting is it
Because no one wants to be alone
Never growing old
Never knowing love
Always alone
That is the price of the wanted
Immortality
1.2k · Jun 2013
Why
Gwendolyn Jun 2013
Why
Am I suddenly not good enough?
Am I really that desperate?
Am I pushy and annoying?
Am I unworthy of your love?
Am I unworthy of your presence?

I
Guess
I
Am

I am not good enough
I am really that desperate
I am pushy and annoying
I am unworthy of your love
I am unworthy of your presence

Really must you hate me?
You are too good for me
Am I unwanted?
Never will I live again
1.2k · Jun 2013
People
Gwendolyn Jun 2013
When I walk down the street
I see people everywhere
Rushing from place
To place
Not looking
At the corruption around them
The corruption is not evident
nor obvious
It is masked by the
beauty of the
Electrical lights
But really
This beauty
Is the most unhumane
Thing that humans
Have created
It has no emotions
Nor regrets
No needs
Or wants
And is comepletely
Submissive to
Us humans
And our power
Our undeserved power
Over all things
We abuse our power
Unfairly treat
The things that are unlike us
Our pets
Are just that
They get no respect
They have no dignity
And our gardens
Are horrible
Because we are taming
Chaos
And we don't have the right
We even use our power against other humans
That are unlike us
Because of color or origin
Or just the way or what we speak
And also because of what we do or do not believe
Us humans, we claim to be different
Than the wild animals
We claim we are civilized
And polite
Or empathetic
And caring
But really
We are the same as the animals
**Only the strong survive
Gwendolyn Sep 2013
Even if they say
That they
Will change
Walk away

After every hit
Spirit in the pit
Don't believe at
Their *******

Don't even waste your time
To think of a better rhyme
For them
Leave the ******* behind

Because bruise after bruise
Only being used
As a punching bag
Treat him like old news

Because he will never stop
Your confidence will drop
Into oblivion
As he continues to plot

Every hit
He's making a list
To ruin
Bit by bit

So listen to me now
Don't wonder how
You deserve this
He will work you like a plow

So what you should of heard
Of a story so absurd
As a girl letting a man beat her
Because she thought she was a nerd

But no one should ever be treated like that because we are all human beings.
972 · May 2013
The Oppressed
Gwendolyn May 2013
In a world
Where you
Were not
Wanted
You were
Beaten, killed, abused

Alone in the dark
You cried and prayed
Asking God why?
Why me? Why me? Why me?
What did I do to deserve this?

Camps that
Are filled
With labor and death
At every turn

Still you
Believe in
Humanity
In the people
That are the
Most inhumane

You died unjustly
At the hands
Of the cruel

Your life may be over
But your memory
Will reign on
893 · May 2013
Changing Melodies
Gwendolyn May 2013
I am loud and strong
I wonder what my music sounds like to someone else
I hear the hearts of the people beating with the a drum
I see the tapping and nodding in sync with the tempo of the world
I want to be able to bring someone to tears with a string of noise
I am loud and strong

I pretend the world is not conforming into one mold
I feel my heart aching for the years that were meaningful
I touch the strings that hold me together
I worry about the ignorance of today's people
I cry when I listen to the world's new sound
I am loud and strong

I understand the feeling of the mix of chaos and control
I say I am brave when in reality I am the opposite
I dream of a reality fit to my ears
I try to tune out the false feeling about the "cool things" people strive for
I hope people realize the error in their ways
I am loud and strong
845 · Apr 2014
This is Not a Metaphor
Gwendolyn Apr 2014
I know I shouldn't be scared of you
I know I shouldn't double check the locks
on the doors and windows every night
It doesn't do anything
You always find a way in
You slither into my room
Invading my thoughts
You keep my up at night
I used to stay up to keep you away
You used to be afraid of the light
But now you're not afraid of anything
So I'm afraid of everything
I used to be indifferent
Apathetic
But the constant loss of sleep
And the continuos unbearable stress has made me grind my teeth again
My canines are almost flat
And maybe that's why you're not afraid of me anymore
I am no longer a threat
I'm barely a person and you're not helping
Go back to juvie because I can't
Deal won't your drug anymore
You won't let me focus
Stop standing outside my window
I said no
But you didn't listen
And now I've started sleeping with a knife under my pillow again
I wish you would just leave me alone
But you can't and I understand that
So next time you try to **** yourself over me
Let me know so we can talk
You know I don't like you
And I know you think you love me
But you don't know me
No one can love me
Because
There is nothing left to love
You call me beautiul
And that makes me uncomfortable
Because I hate when people lie to me
How can you look at my disfigured soul
And see anything less than
Complete failure
I'm a mess
But I don't want you to clean me up
Because I can't think in a spotless room
I can't find a thing when it's put away
It's like reverse OCD
But you don't understand that
So you stand outside my living room window
Waiting for a glimpse of me
Because I don't answer the door when you knock
You pound on the door like the pounding in my room
From the rocks you throw at my window
Pretty soon it's going to crack
And the I will have to tell people about you
There is a reason I no longer sleep with my shades up
I don't want you to watch me anymore
So please just leave me alone
Like I said, it's not a metaphor...
823 · Feb 2015
Long Skirts
Gwendolyn Feb 2015
I am a girl.
I have long hair and I love pretty things.
I wear make up and I probably spend too much time in the mall.
But all of that doesn't mean that I am a pushover.
Most people look at my blonde hair and smile and assume I must be dumb because I am nice. And I am so tired of being pushed to the side because my heels are higher than they should be and I love to dress up.
And I don't dress up for you, or him, or her.
I don't wear makeup so you think I'm pretty.
I do it for myself.
Not for the catcalls or the leering stares.
And just because I spend more time playing with lady bugs then sticking to the man doesn't mean my opinions don't matter.
My worth is not measured by how many people are afraid of me.
By the amount of hearts I break or the number of times my heart was the one breaking.
And when I said no I meant it.
And when I said stop, you didn't listen because you thought I didn't know what I wanted.
But I knew I didn't want you.
And you treated my body is on public display, like I was some statue for you to touch and admire.
But I am not a piece of artwork that is up for public discussion.
I may be indecisive, and emotional,
I may cry over the death of a book character in the middle of study hall,
But that is my choice.
It is my choice to not pretend that I am not constantly overwhelmed with one million different emotions.
And it is not your right to ask me about it.
Did anyone ask if Joan of arc was in her period when she went to war?
No because she was armed to the teeth with ax and sword.
But you know what, I have armor too.
It may be long flowery skirts, and beads in my hair, but it's mine.
And I will fight till my last breath if it means my body is mine.
If it means that her body is hers, and his body is his.
I don't need you to "protect" me.
I don't you constantly looking over my shoulder and thinking that what I am doing is not my choice.
I am not trying to make some speech about how I am better than you because I am not
We are equal in every way and you need to see that.
She is not better than him and he is not better than her and they are not better than them
And we, we are all the same we all have fears and we all cry sometimes.
It's not up to you which parts of my body are mine and which parts of my body are yours. Because it's all mine and none of it's yours.
Even if I let you close to it doesn't mean I'm giving you permission to touch it.
And you need permission to touch it.
To touch me.
But you didn't have it and you say that's my fault.
That it's my fault that you couldn't control yourself.
And I believed you,
But that was so long ago and I am so much better now.
I don't need you to make me feel important.
I am a girl.
I have long hair and I love pretty things.
But that doesn't mean that I'm a pushover.
Yeah, I'm quiet and polite.
And yeah maybe I bowed my head in submission that night when you told me I wanted this but not anymore.
Now I am going to look you in the eye and say
"No this is mine. The space between my legs is not public property. So you better find another park to play at."
738 · Mar 2015
Construction
Gwendolyn Mar 2015
It's what I'm under
Gwendolyn May 2014
I'm tired.
Not stayed up too late tired,
Not woke up too early tired.
Not too many sleepovers tired.
I'm exhausted.
Can't sleep for weeks tired.
Too many nightmares tired.
Insomniac tired.
704 · Aug 2013
A Bright Flame For Now
Gwendolyn Aug 2013
A bright flash
A blinding light
That was me
Then I am out of sight

I fly right through
Passing by
Not staying long
So do not sigh

Do not miss me
I am nothing new
Just a phase
Not a special few

I am always on
Shining bright
I don't stay forever
I know its not right

I never stay
I am a rolling stone
No moss for me
I am alone
699 · May 2014
Please (Don't) Leave Me
Gwendolyn May 2014
I'm afraid of you
You make me loopy
And put my walls down
You have a direct shot
At my heart
You could **** me in an instant
You could shatter me

I'm afraid of losing you
You make me forget my problems
And help me open up to people
You know me
What's in my heart
You could save me
You could heal me

I (don't) need you
I (don't) want you
684 · May 2013
Ignorance to Ourselves
Gwendolyn May 2013
There are people all around me
Though I see no one
Gray blurs, different shapes
But no faces
I am alone in a sea of people
No one will listen
No one will listen to my story
The one that is buried in time
I could scream
But no one would hear
Not the fish, nor the birds
Only me to hear my story
The story buried in time
Though it does not affect the todays
It affects the yesterdays
The yesterdays from which we came
To ignore it is to ignore ourselves
To ignore what ignites our passion
And our will
And our will to live
Our immense will to survive
The story buried in time tells
Of life in heaven
Life without corruption
A perfect life
A life where we may see love
Not hate or greed
Just everything as it was meant
To be seen
Pure and light
Black and white
No gray blur
Na unrecognizable faces
Just black and white, love and hate
A place where we are not welcome
Not in our mortal lives
But our immortals souls have
The secret password
Till then we are banished
We know what we do
But not what we did
Because that story
Because we are ignorant
Is buried in time
673 · Jul 2013
Another Knot
Gwendolyn Jul 2013
You walk down the hallway
With evil glares
Curious stares
Keep walking
A smile or two
But only a few
You get to your class
Just waiting for the time to pass
You finally get home
And go up stairs
A cut
Maybe two
If its bad enough
Then you go downstairs
Put on a smile
Pretend to be happy
For dinner
You push your food around
Then you go back upstairs
To throw up the two
Bites of food you ate
Go to sleep
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat
Until you can't repeat anymore
Then you get the rope
And the stool
By then its too late
The stool is gone
And all that's left
Is the rope
And you want to go back
But it is
Too late
Too late
Too late
**TOO LATE
641 · Jun 2013
Parents
Gwendolyn Jun 2013
They don't remember
The pain of a broken
Heart
Dream
Reality
Hope
They don't understand the
Loss
Hurt
Pain
Suffering
But they also don't remember the
Love
Friendship
Innocence
Ignorance
So they don't remember
What it is like to be a
Teenager
So when they give you advice
It is outdated and useless
But they give it anyway
So when you are hurting
Don't go to your parents
Go to your friends
Or siblings
Anyone from this generation
Because while they say its just a phase
And that it will pass
We are living in it
Us, not them
They forget that
They always do
*Always
Heart this poem if you ever dealt with this kind of pain.
630 · Jun 2014
The Alphabet Backwards
Gwendolyn Jun 2014
Z
Y
X
W
V
U
T
S
R
Q
P
O
N
M
L
K
J
I
H
G
F
E
D
C
B
A
601 · Jun 2014
Growing Up In Hell
Gwendolyn Jun 2014
My sister said I didn't raise myself
And maybe, in some ways I didn't.
But she doesn't understand
Just because we had babysitters
And that people were around
Doesn't mean that they raised me.

All my life I have been taking care of the people I love.
My friends
My family
Making sure if someone got hurt,
It was me.

My sister said that she grew up fast
But I grew up faster.
If I was to be loved then I had to be old,
I had to be an adult.

I'm not saying my life was always hell.
But if it was, then my family were demons
And I was the queen.

I protected my people
From a throne made of broken dreams
And a lost childhood.

The black on my soul will not
Wash off. But I was just protecting them.
I was their savior

**But they didn't know it
570 · Jul 2013
WEAK
Gwendolyn Jul 2013
So I guess you could call me pretty
Or maybe even beautiful
Tragically beautiful
With sad eyes
And scarred skin
Like shattered glass

But I am not worth the trouble
So don't fall in love
I have tears and pain
Constantly flowing through me
Or out of me

My life is crazy
And catastrophic
It wrecks everything in
Its path

I know I seem happy
And always brave
The center of attention
The one people remember

But that takes a lot of acting
To be so happy
And so brave
Because deep down inside
In broken
And weak
I am not strong
And I never will be
Gwendolyn Mar 2015
Smiles are my favorite part of a person.
And yours
Yours makes a room two thousand times brighter

Eyes are the most beautiful part of a person
And yours
Yours make my heart skip a beat

Lips are the most enticing part of a person
And yours
Yours make my lips tingle just at the thought of kissing you

You are the best kind of person
And you
You are what makes me get out of bed in the morning
I know it's cheesy, it was Aaron's idea.
559 · May 2013
Here
Gwendolyn May 2013
The sun doesn’t shine
here
the moon is nonexistant
here
insanity takes over the mind
here
you as mightas well be blind
here
in my head
you are here
Gwendolyn Mar 2015
It's too loud
Everything  is just too loud
They are everywhere
Shouting
Screaming
More screaming
Shrieking
It's too loud

I don't think I handle this anymore
The sneering
Staring
Lying
Whispering
Begging
More begging
Pleading
I can't handle this

I need you
They want you
But I need you
The hugging
Kissing
Holding
Cuddling
More cuddling
Loving
I need you
511 · Sep 2013
Just Another Beaten Bell
Gwendolyn Sep 2013
Ring
First class
Pain
That's making it hard
To breathe
Ring
Can't focus
Mind wandering
Pain
Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring**
More classes
More pain
More fake smiles
More failing
More stress

More pain
Because
Of you
Of what you said
I can hardly breathe
Without cringing
Is this
A broken heart
Is this what everyone talks about
The absolute
Utter blankness
That now
Fills the place
Where you're heart
Is supposed to be

I can't even breathe
Because of you
I can't sleep
Because of you
I can't think of anything
But you

Heart shattered
Soul tattered
Confidence battered
And it doesn't matter
At least not to you

So when you see
Me getting worse
Don't feel bad
Because its all
Your fault
But you don't know it
So I guess
I will keep pretending
501 · Apr 2016
Oh The Things I Could Do
Gwendolyn Apr 2016
I could write such beautiful poetry about you
I could write about how your eyes sparkle when you get excited
Or about how your arms feel when they are holding on to me
I could write about your jawline that could cut glass
Or your collarbones that could hold oceans
I could write about your elegant hands and how they feel when they caress my arm
How they touch me the same way an art collector touches a painting
Slowly and cautiously
Like they aren't supposed to be there
I could write about the way your eyes follow me when I walk
Or how your arms always find their way around me
I could write about the time you held me up
And how I let you
I could do it
It'd be so easy
It'd be so easy about the night we spent laying in the park looking at the stars
Or about the time we first met when you decided holding hands is the best way to travel
About how you rolled down a hill with me a couple hours after it rained
And you gave me your sweater because I was cold afterward
I could write about all of it
But I won't
Because you are with a girl that puts hearts in your eyes
With someone that you feel comfortable and safe with
Even though you are under appreciated
Even though she leaves you in need of validation
Even though I'm pretty sure she is going to cheat on you
I won't write about the chemistry we share
Or the feelings we have
Because you are with a girl who puts hearts in your eyes
But I will write about one thing
I will write about how she may put hearts in your eyes
But I'll put stars
I will take galaxies and give them to you in a perfect little box
Because I know how important they are to you
Because I know how to listen
And I always listen to you
497 · May 2013
Waiting
Gwendolyn May 2013
Finger fidgeting
Feet tapping
Checking the time
Looking down
Staring into space
Faking your calm
Heart beating
Palms sweating
******* hair
As you wait for them to call your name
Chairs squeak
Doors open
Names called
Doors close
Not your turn, still waiting
Faith leaves
Hope leaves
Love leaves
You leave
Walking down the hallway
Blurry vision
Spinning rooms
A slight pinch
Blackness
Blackness
You are escorted out
A click
Songs
Tears
Beauty
Goodbyes
Hellos
Loss
Gain
You are welcomed with open arms
486 · Jul 2013
Where We Belong
Gwendolyn Jul 2013
The valley
Of the dead
Calls to me
Begging me to join them
Once again
The ****** and forsaken
They want the darkness to swallow me
To fill me with malice
And pain

But I wish not
I wish not to succumb
To the hatred and greed
Instead I want to follow
The light
The radiant brightness
That encircles you

Your aura stings my
Unworthy eyes
Because I am filled with darkness
I am shroud in malice
I am a shadow
That dims you
And your beauty

So I must go back to
My brethren in the shadows
And you go back to
The angels from the light
483 · Jun 2014
Went/Downhill/Fast
Gwendolyn Jun 2014
Its hell inside my head
With monsters that would make the Winchesters cringe
Scratching the walls
Breaking every good thing in me

My emotions are dead
Insanity has driven me way past the fringe
I've started to fall
Locked in a room with no key

They said I would fail
Somehow knowing my future was grim
I'm useless, you know
Crashing and burning

My dreams had set sail
But my chances of getting on that boat were slim
It was really all for show
That's what I'm slowly learning

I realize I'm broken
I know I can't be fixed
The fates have spoken
*Don't tell me I'll be missed
483 · Jun 2013
Nothing Left
Gwendolyn Jun 2013
Every day
Day after day
I hear yelling and screaming
About the same ****
College and money
But not between my parents
Only between my sister
And my father
He doesn't
Give a **** about me
I am the youngest
The one in the shadows
The one left to fend for herself
They already have
The perfect child
My brother covered that
My sister is the
*****-up
So what am I
Left to be...
473 · Jun 2013
Anyone, But Me
Gwendolyn Jun 2013
I am front and center
Everyone is looking at me
I feel my heart pounding
I see my hands shaking
They expect so much
When I have so little
The silence
Has never been so loud
They tell me to begin
Thats when I forget
Everything I am supposed to remember
Why do they expect so much?

The judge looks at me
Waiting  for me to begin
I look around the crowded room
And I begin
Lucky to have the script in my hand
Everything flows back
I am no longer me
I am the person in my poems
They don't want me
They want her
That is how I win
To be anything
and everything
But myself

As I finish
I leave mouths open
I leave tears running down faces
I look around one more time
With the pained expression still evident
I bow and as I unbend
There is a small smile
Across my face
The rupture of applause
Is nothing compared to
The blood pounding In my ears

As I sit down
I get high-fives
And approving nods
They smile at me
Because they think I was just acting
But behind every act
There is truth
470 · Oct 2014
No, Not Like That
Gwendolyn Oct 2014
Be yourself
No not like that
Be yourself like everyone else

Work hard
No not on that
Work ******* things that won't help you

Be happy
No not with that
Be happy with the things we give you

This is not mind control
This is not mind control
This is not mind control

We just want you to be like everyone else
Because everyone else is like us
Get a job behind a desk
Get a white picket fence

Grow up
No not that fast
Grow up when I tell you to
468 · Jul 2014
Smooth Paper
Gwendolyn Jul 2014
Smoking is bad for you
I know
I don't know why I started
I just need to feel the smooth paper
In my hand
Fingers intertwined with death
467 · Apr 2016
To Him But Not Really
Gwendolyn Apr 2016
You know how much I care about you.
And you know how much I crave your attention, and you know I'd wait forever for you.
And ******* cause I think you plan on making me wait forever.
I think you thrive on the fact that I'm so in love with you it hurts and I think you love the fact that no matter what you do to me, I'd never give up on you.
So *******.
**** your perfect smile and perfect laugh.
**** your eyes and how your voice sounds when you talk about something you love.
**** how your eyes light up when you look at me and how close you hold me.
******* for knowing just what to say to make me want to be around you forever and **** how perfectly we match up.
Just *******.
And I'll wait for you, for whenever you decide you want me.
I'd wait forever.
An ******* for knowing that.
464 · Nov 2013
The Butterflies Are Dying
Gwendolyn Nov 2013
As leaves fall
So does my hope
The warmth acceptance
Summer had so many promises
Now it's all gone

Change is no longer an option
Metamorphosis is over
Even the butterflies are dying
Their wings are dropping
And I am dropping with them

Flower petals everywhere
Love me
Love me not
But the flowers are dead now
So love is dead too

Snow is freezing my world
And I am freezing with it
So I will bury the butterflies
Lay the dead flower petals on its grave
And wait for he sun to come again
460 · Aug 2013
Think Again
Gwendolyn Aug 2013
What do you do when beautiful people
Say that they are average
Do you say that you are
Less than average
You are not good enough
Because they are not
Their standards
Are yours
You are not your own
But everyone else's
I guess that makes sense
If you want it to
If you want to be average
But I am not skinny
I am not pretty
My hair is always a mess
I am way too loud
I talk to much
**And I am perfect
Gwendolyn Jun 2013
If someone would have told me
How much love hurts
I would have never fallen so deep into it
For you

If someone would have told me
That I am wasting my time
I would have never lived to see
Tomorrow

If someone would have told me
That no one cares
I would have never have cared
About anything

If someone would have told me
That no one stays forever
Then maybe I wouldn't hurt so much
For you

But no one told me

So my heart is shattered
My life means nothing
No one cares
And I am alone

So ****** IT
447 · Sep 2014
The New Generation
Gwendolyn Sep 2014
Running away isn't always the best option
Hiding from everything that hurts us
Scares us
We are not convicts
They are not the police
They are just adults with a God complex
They do not control us
We are our own people
We deserve to be respected
We are the source of power
We are the new generation
And we will not be oppressed by people
Who demand respect without earning it
We are creatures with more to offer than we will ever know
Our talents and dreams remain undiscovered
Stand up against this discrimination
Saying that teenagers are dangerous
Saying we are worthless
Useless
Going nowhere in life
Show them we are a force to be reckoned with
Be who you need to be
Love who you want
Listen to what you want
Wear what you want
Be who you want
We are the new generation
And we will not be controlled
437 · May 2013
I am
Gwendolyn May 2013
I am a shadow compared to your sun.
I am the mistake that can’t be undone.
I pretend to belong though no one cares.
I will not be redone because of all your stares.
I may not have wings but I will soar.
Even to you I am no bore.
Think what you want I am here to stay.
You made my joy fade away.
436 · Sep 2013
Much Too Young
Gwendolyn Sep 2013
On the ground
Her body lays
Bruised
Beaten
Cold
Alone

DOA
Or that's what the man
With the badge says
Cause of death
Is still unknown
And no one knows
What happened

Missing for three
Long
Years
Still only twelve
No one knows the hell
That she went through

No one sees
The crying angel
The sits next to
The body

Long dark hair
In ringlets down her face
Looking at another
Soul lost
Body beaten
Stands up

And grabs the girls hand
And the hand of her
Unborn child
And takes them to
A place of no pain
But no one sees it
All they here
Is a ****** of a bell
And they smile
For no reason

Later they find out
She was two months
Pregnant
With an unknown man
That they never convicted
433 · Sep 2014
Sir No Sir
Gwendolyn Sep 2014
Stop punishing me for something I didn't do
Something I would have never done
You treat me like a prisoner
In a maximum security prison
If you want me to stay then
You better lock me up
Because I won't stand for your ******* anymore
If you expect me to thank you for these shackles
Prepare to be disappointed because
I will not back down
I will not succumb to your unreasonable expectations
I will not be amiable towards you *******
Are you prepared?
Because if you think I will outgrow it
You've got another thing coming
Because honey I've just started
This is not a one night thing
This is a full blown rebellion
No this is a revolution.
Gwendolyn Apr 2014
Welcome to the Steel and Porcelain Tour
All aboard the Steam Engine
And before you ask
Yes this is run on the tears
Of the people
From this tour

Here lies the happiness of a broken girl
Under the dirt
In an unmarked grave
This is the spot where
Innocence is lost

Over there is
The confidence
Of the boy from your class
Ripped away and discarded unwillingly

That pile on your left
Of undiscovered talents  
Paintings, Books
The cure to cancer and the common cold

And those papers over there
Are the cases that went unsolved
Rapes, kidnappings, murders
And then there's the patient records
Surgeries that didn't go well
Too many patients, not enough doctors
Don't forget the suicides from the psychiatrists
That didn't make it too college

Last stop
The pills and blades and ropes
This parts a bit gruesome, so you might want to
Close your eyes
This is a few of the ways used by the people
This tour is about

And that concludes your tour.
Come again
And don't forget
Words hurt.
425 · May 2014
FINALly Understand
Gwendolyn May 2014
I'm breaking down
I'm actually breaking
The cracks have gotten too big
It's flooding
My tears are rushing down my face
They won't stop
It's too much
I can't handle it
No one can
It's impossible
The pressure
Was building
Is building
Always will be building
So I broke
I'm breaking
I will never stop breaking
Till I'm shattered
And I become like the rest of the world
It will break me and
Make me like you
Responsible
Boring
Uncreative
A contributing member of society
I get it now
It's pressing us down
Into their mold
So we all fit
I understand now
418 · Feb 2015
Work Harder
Gwendolyn Feb 2015
Go talk to that angry customer, they won't yell at a cute little girl like you
Turned into
Hey, you have thick skin go talk to that angry customer
Turned into
Go talk to that angry customer, flirt with him if you have to

Hey tell me what you need so I can carry it for you
Turned into
Hey tell me what you need so I can get it for you
Turned into
Do you need anything?

Dude she's 14
Turned into
No they don't call me *******
Turned into
I'm still 16, no matter what I look like.

7.25
Turned into
7.39
Turned into
8.00

You're a little girl, that's why you get payed less
Turned into
You're a minor, that's why you get payed less
Turned into
You're only getting payed .30 less then the average male worker

Yeah the ones that started last week.
I've been there for two years
And I'm still new
I started when I was 14
And they treated me like a feeble princess
Now I'm 16
And they treat me like a useless girl

Even when I am the best
He is better.
Even when I'm right
He is more right.
He's so right I'm left.
Right?
407 · Feb 2016
Fuck I Need A Drink
Gwendolyn Feb 2016
I could tell you about the way he looked at me
Like I was a deer head above the fire place in his basement
Like I was the first place trophy he just won simply by existing
Like an object to be obtained
To be won
Sure as hell not to be asked

I could tell you how I mistook that look for love
Like he wanted to be with me
Like he cared about what happened after he was gone
Like a lover
A friend
Someone who actually cares about you

I could show you where he touched me
Physical and metaphorical
On my body
And in my subconscious
Making me flinch when a hand is raised
Or when I see the red dress that "just didn't fit right"

I could make you fall in love with him
With his sweet words of forever and always
His promises and wishes
The way he carded his hands through my hair
And the way he kissed down my neck

I could do a lot of things
And so could he
The only real difference is
I know where the line is.
407 · May 2014
Version 2.0
Gwendolyn May 2014
Running away isn't always the best option
Hiding from everything that hurts us
We are not convicts
They are not the police
They are just adults with a God complex
They do not control us
We are our own people
We deserve to be respected
We are the source of power
We are the new generation
And we will not be oppressed by people
Who demand respect without earning it
We are creatures with more to offer than we   will ever know
Our talents and dreams remain undiscovered
We are repressed
Stand up against this discrimination
Be who we need to be
Love who you want
Listen to what you want
Wear what you want
Be who you want
We are the new generation
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