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Dec 2019 · 250
The wall
gunnar bebee Dec 2019
I'm stuck behind a wall
With myself I'm in a constant brawl
Beaten and battered I can barely crawl
Unfortunately i can't stand tall
Everytime I stand I fall
Everytime I risk it all
I'm still stuck behind this **** wall

This wall I can reach through
But Everytime I do
Same ol same ol happens, nothin new
It says "who are you?"
And throws me away like a horseshoe
I just can't through

I just need to get to the other side
Doesn't matter if I died
Or how many times I cried.
How many times I've lied
Or how many times i need to hide.
I need to get to the other side.

Not being there is killing me
I need to be set free
I need to find a key
Maybe if I'm lucky
Maybe just maybe
I get my chance to flee
But in the meantime, it's killing me.

I get to the wall and stand
Suddenly, a hand
Grabbing on to my arm band
Bringing me to an unfamiliar land
This not what I had planned

I stumble into this new place
Seemingly without a trace
There's a figure, looking at her face
All my emotions get displaced
And my sad thoughts erased
My mind's now floating in space
Happier than anyone in the human race

Im sitting on the ground awestruck
I must have used all my luck
Cuz any other outcome would ****

I admire her beauty and my heart melts
But then she knelt
And picked me up by my belt

I'm standing now, I looked into her eyes and grinned
The world around me had dimmed
And there was no more wind
I thought i had sinned

But suddenly she said "hehe"
That filled me with such glee
My mind had been set free
For the world to see
My smile may be ******
But we must agree
Without my baby
I would still be,
Behind the wall, searching for some imaginary key
Dec 2019 · 363
Self hatred towards writing
gunnar bebee Dec 2019
Scared

I remember being told I'm not good enough
Writing trying to seem tough
Writing to get rid of emotions and stuff
Hearing that from who I thought were the real ones, that **** was rough

Been told to just stop
That I'll never reach the top
What i thought was a raindrop
Really just a teardrop
Dropping onto my tank top

Been told I ****
That I'm **** out of luck
That whatever I do, I'll always be stuck
Can't make anyone awestruck
Might as well just say ****
It and get hit by a semi truck.

You might ask who would say this type of ****
Well, me and I ******* hate it
I sit here and throw a fit
Telling myself to just quit
And i must admit
This **** really has no benefit
I really should just commit.
Even when I do it
I'll be dead in a pit
nobody give a **** about me except for the one dude staring down at me just to spit.

That dude is me, just telling him I'm right
My writing would never amount to anything so just give up the fight
6 feet under i'm out of sight
Every day and night
Casket shut tight
Ain't no light
But everything's alright
Cuz down here I can't disappoint when I pick up that pen and begin to write.
gunnar bebee Oct 2019
Piercing through my core, deep calls the deep,
Penetrating my heart, life stops
My mind is mute, falling in a transit sleep
To the floor my body drops.

Crashing against the waves through the endless void
Lost, wandering, thinking, pondering
My heart and soul forever destroyed
This is now a conjuring.

The devil in me begins to awaken
Coming from the darkest of depths
I become a poltergeist, my life forsaken
Im only hungry for deaths

Withstood a thousand pains
Endured a million hardships
In my mind rages hurricanes
My mind is in eclipse.

Through the void in the distance I see light
Possibly a glimmer of hope?
Yet I can't even budge with all my might
The light and hope eloped.  

Screaming “why” yet the void remains silent,
My frustration continues to grow  
Each second Growing more violent
The furious rage on my face shows.

I am lost my soul burns it's final embers,    
The flame inside me is dying out.
My rage finally surrenders
Falling all about.

The darkness turns bright and the void is gone.
The silence has fled
To your soothing voice I am drawn,
You seem directly ahead

Pulling me from my eternal slumber,
Bringing life back to my dead soul.
You voice rattles in my head like thunder
you reach for me to get me out of this hole.


Through your eyes I see dazzling stars,
Sparkling in the moon-lit night
Your gaze shatters my minds prison bars
And it holds me tight.

You stand beside me on this narrow path
Leading me towards a better tomorrow
Soothing away my wrath
My trust and willingness begins to grow?

By your side in emotional bliss,
I finally feel at peace
No longer in this oceanic abyss
Finally living at ease.
A friend and I decided that we'd try and make a poem together. Every first and third line is his and every second and 4th line is mine. This is what we managed to come up with
Dec 2018 · 295
What i need
gunnar bebee Dec 2018
I need someone to call mine
To treat as if she were my shrine
To help me shine
In the darkest of times
~
I need someone to hold tight
To not let out of sight
To treat right
And to bring me into the light
Even in the darkest night
~
I miss the feeling of a hug
The feelin' of feelin' snug
To me it's a drug
~
I Need someone to make my life worth while
To make me strive to go the extra mile
To direct me to the right isle
And keep my mind out of exile
~
I need someone to love
To help me get rid of
All the things that I should be above.
~
I need someone to show me the way
And not leave me astray
And help me everyday
To Not feel gray
~
I need someone to take away my pain
And help me gain
Something I've been unable to obtain
Nov 2018 · 154
On the inside
gunnar bebee Nov 2018
If you haven't noticed i'm pretty shy
I'm not that type of guy
to show myself when I cry.
around others I've got a dry eye
but on the inside I want to die.
~
I've got no one.
Sometimes I tell a pun
I seem pretty fun
but on the inside I'm done.
up to my head theres this gun.
~
People seem to not care
I swear.
People stand there and stare
As i say my prayer
They seem to be unaware.
im just sad, probably shouldnt be but, here i am.
Nov 2018 · 421
This mask
gunnar bebee Nov 2018
I've got this mask that i'm wearing
It'd be daring
If I were to be sharing
~
As no one is caring
They're all staring
As I am declaring
That i will be tearing
this mask off repairing
What I have become.
~
Behind this smiling mask i'm sad
And might I add
I'm not glad
I'm kinda mad.
~
Behind this mask I'm not the same
And I'm the one to blame
I was to aim
For fame
And now I'm in shame
I wrote this just to get some things off my chest.
i go to school everyday with this smiling mask on my face but behind the mask im in pain, i'm depressed, and nobody has seen me with my mask off. i dont think any of them are every going to see this.
Oct 2018 · 258
A new deal
gunnar bebee Oct 2018
Your beauty is unreal
Truly surreal
It's my Achilles heel.

We made a deal but you steal
I want a new deal
Strong like carbon steel
Not weak like mild steel
~
By deal I mean friendship
It went from a strong kinship
It took a slip
Now it's rip.
Oct 2018 · 183
About her
gunnar bebee Oct 2018
There's something about you.
I don't have a clue,
Why i love you more than any other
Even more than my own mother.
I never knew
How much i would need you
Not as a friend
But someone till the end
Why are you more important to me,
Then my own life? Well you see,
~
You bring me so much glee
And without a fee?
It's a dream, it must be
You make me worry free
You make all my problems flee
Around you so much joy is brought to me
It's hard to forsee
What a life would be
For me
Without thee
~
You're the best person ever
I may not be clever
Or whatever
But thanks for being here through this endeavour
Hopefully our friendship will never dissever
Life will take us wherever
We'll meet whoever
But i don't want to loose you what-so-ever
Oct 2018 · 457
left astray
gunnar bebee Oct 2018
It's hard to say
but if you were gone for a day
I wouldn't know what to say
I'd be left astray
Please don't go away
Oct 2018 · 225
The Price
gunnar bebee Oct 2018
What's this game you play
with my heart like prey
everyday
what do you have to say?
it all started last May
I knew there would be a price to pay
and to my dismay
i would've said no way!
if i the the price it be forced to pay
Oct 2018 · 174
All is true about you
gunnar bebee Oct 2018
I hear that laugh
I see that smile
I can't hear my heart as it beats a thousand miles
For everytime she smiles.
My brain goes to mush
And I can only help but blush
~
I see her eyes
They are my demise
Our eyes catch each other
I look away in horror
Fleeing the scene
For all I see is a queen.
~
Her voice Is angelic
Leaving me speechless
All that sweetness
It's my only weakness
~
Your beauty radiates from you
I could continue.
But I've already said all these things to you
So Just know they are all true.
Aug 2018 · 172
High on you.
gunnar bebee Aug 2018
I am high on your shining smile
I am high on your lovely laughter
I am high on your perfect personality
I am high on your elagent eyes
I am high on your perfect imperfections
I am high
I am addicted
And I don't think I can quit.

— The End —