Bubbles of light come through the blanket he uses as a curtain.
A shield against the frightful world filled by ragged people with scabs for eyes.
How I wish I too wish I could not view this disintegrating pile of ash and ****.
So I'll sit.
In this room.
With this blanket
and my thoughts.

I feel sick with the anger of the Sun's broken trust
I mourn with the Moon's lost friendship,
But through all that ****, somehow
keep shining as bright as the stars' will to bring light wherever dark may come.
(I will try)
Then come the skies of grey,
and I don't feel so brave anymore.
I become lost.
With a scattered mind and a sight clouded by fog.

Suddenly, there is light.
(Tiny, but true to it's cause.)
And I am somehow confused.
How can something so small...
So minuscule...
Brighten this seemingly never-ending blackness?

My bewilderment continues as this singular spark of hope keeps on flaming
With this rage. This powerful rage.
So strong, it's overwhelming.

I am unsure what this rage concerns,
but it does not stop.
Does not waver.
This pulsating passion.
It does not stop.
It will not stop.
I almost want it to cease, even though it has kept me
From fading.
From dying.

I feel like I'm turning into a grey can of paint.
Y'see, pretty much everything is either black or white to me.
But for a long time, I've been noticing that I'm more stuck in this grey parabole in the middle. I'm always saying things like, "I do know, but I don't know" and, "I want it but I really don't want it". It's all very confusing and my ability to make decisions is diminishing each day I go on like this...
It's making everything seem more and more impossible...
Most days, I'm mixing slightly more with the black than the white (and vice versa). These days aren't so bad- if you've been this state for as long as I have.
Then there's the days when I am the most perfectly balanced grey you could ever lay your eyes upon; there's almost beauty in my misfortune and depleting mental stability. Days like those- a day like this...
A day like this can demolish your spirit in milliseconds. A day like this can stop you from seeing the most vibrant autumn leaves strewn across the earth, as your eyes have now turned to grey. A day like this can let your demons burst out from hiding in the cavities of your mind and start gnawing at things they shouldn't. A day like this makes you not care that all of this is happening to you, just as long as you're still as dull as your cigarette's smoke.