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Your profile read "Separated with 3 kids",
Normally I would have run a mile
But you bombarded me with your words and made me smile

The more you talked the more your soft words curled themselves around my heart,
it was not long before, of you I became a part

Once you hooked me in and made me yours
the stories of your woes from your life before begins to out pour
I was your therapist, your lover and your teacher
one year passed and things only began to look bleaker

Anxiety, stress and you being generally depressed
did nothing to relieve the problems already compressed

you promised things of a life and future together
now looking back, that really wasn't clever

I believed you and prayed,
to live with you someday

To grow old and laugh
when in the evening sun we'd bask

Those were childish dreams
and it didn't take long for them to crack at the seams

Why do I call you the Time Thief?
You gave me false belief

Because you made me love you
Then you left me behind in this world with no clue
with what you were about to do

You stole my time, my heart, my soul
over which I now have no control
Feeling lost
click
click click
the letters
mix
and stir
and whick
my thoughts
onto the glowing white page
the qwerty keyboards
calling my name
write me
it screams
and begs
and pleads
it tells me the clicks
will wash away
the feelings of another lost day
the clicks whisper of hidden things
that time will pass
that mindless thing
as i sit clicking and whicking
and stirring up thought
and laughing
and crying
all inside
as
my family lives their
lives
that i forget to take interest in
as they all respond to their clicks
technology sometimes.
they say that love never dies
could never curl and  bawl and cry
love is the purest of all emotions
even turbulent and torrid
it is pure, never horrid

but I'm tired of loving you
or seeing your jaw, you finger, your tooth
and feeling a rush of fear
that i will never escape from this anxious pit of unclear
good intentions and impure thoughts
so i do what i am taught

i slog through the love, the lust
the misplaced affections because i need, i must
be graced with one smile, a small glimpse
even if my feelings you already dismissed

i was going to tell you,  don't you know?
i was going to knock my feelings off their petty throne
i thought that maybe if i let it all out
i would not feel a gout
of excitement for the forbidden feelings

that maybe i could stop pealing
in laughter at the smallest thing
when i thought you weren't looking, as i watched you sing
that i would have the control of my buzzing desire
but now i refuse to fan the fire

my friends still egg me on.
Valentines Day is on Saturday, what could go wrong?
I've found that people are great at giving advice
when it wont affect them even once or twice

but they know that you know off my misplaced affection
you see it now in every inflection
she lied and told you behind my back
and then asked me to cut her some slack
when now that tenuous friendship we once had was broken

and i only ask you to give me a token
of admitting your silence
rings out louder
than any no
... lesson well learned. and i will have to see him again, and again, and again, four hours a day, every day
I'm just me, and you're like a god
You're popular, I am an outcast,

A shadow.

I could never let you know my true feelings
You would just laugh in my face

So for now, I'll stay in my room wondering why A guy like you would ever go for a girl like me
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