Scattered pieces of flaws
Stitched together in perfection
Everywhere
Just beautiful

All these of good intentions
Why do we not see these all the time?
Why can't it be just the good days?
Why can't we be still?
Why do we turn things vain?

Are we seeing soreal?
Tell me this is nothing in a manuscript
Tell me we're not actors of our own movies
Lest t'was a hopeless love
It frightens me

*Tell me it was real

I admire you a lot
For just being who you are
It makes me forget you not
You gave me a smile on fire

I miss you when you are far
My eyes long to meet your beautiful eyes
You set something in me like war
O, why do I feel this when time flies

When you're too close to me
It bothers me as well
Because when you talk so gently
I'm afraid I might deeply fell

Maybe we're better this way
Words unspoken, feelings unsaid
I know it's something we both pray
That may our hearts still be guarded

I want to say many things to you
Something I don't want to just keep inside
You have no idea how it makes me blue
When I'd rather keep silent and hide

I don't want to awaken things not on its time
I'd rather keep it to myself and sacrifice
Right now maybe it doesn't rhyme
But it's for the future's great surprise

Somehow it breaks my heart
The thought that I'd meet you in a while
On the corridor not too apart
And all I can do is just smile

To me, you are very dear
Maybe it's best to save the friendship
Rather than temporarily happy yet in fear
I don't want us to be in hardship

So maybe I would just keep this mine
And I guess I'd rather not tell at all
In time it will be fine
And I'd be thankful for this achy fall

It's not really goodbye
Rather, "Take care of yourself always"
I hope this will make us comfortably say hi
Whenever we cross ways

Maybe we'll meet again soon enough
And maybe the time is right
Maybe we'll be ready and our hearts are tough
Enough to push through something our hearts long to fight

This is not about you anymore
Not about your heavens, paradise and hell
This is not about your late night thoughts stuck at the back of my ear where you left them
This is not about your cravings, no
Not about the things you crave when it's 3 in the morning
This is not about your eyes getting caught stealing glances my way
This is not about the way your lips curl when you say my last name
This is not about how you carved promises of hope on my skin,
leaving me exposed for the rest to devour
This is not about holding me too tight I felt you slipping away
This is not about you leaving me alone and crushed to my bones

This is about my paradise, my better place
This is about my thoughts too clouded I cannot even see them,
let alone decipher
This is about my confusion, my dusty corners
and shadows at 3 in the morning
This is about how I gave myself time to heal
from all the words you left me with
This is about the baby steps, each one I took led me far from you
This is about being okay with that
This is about me

(Realizing now that this was never about you
Accepting that this was always just about me)

.
     Seems much smaller than I had imagined.
     It only stretches as far as my eyes could
     see.
     It reeks of the past, with no hints of the
     future.
     The present is here, the present is me.

My world tonight...
     Sees me nestled,
     watching silent but with mind
     dishevelled...
     Unnoticed on this kerb...
     Unnamed and unlabelled.

My world tonight...
     Is filled with familiar strangers,
     ushering their lives along.
     I know their faces but not their names.
     I'd call this home but I don't belong.

My world tonight...
     Is spinning regardless...
     It stays on track.
     Never waits for me.
     Never looks back.

My world tonight...
     Has no intention to soothe my thoughts.
     It is baring its bite...
     It's leaving me far behind...
     But I'll catch up at the break of light.



                                        *As I always do...