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I wore my frilly frock,embellished with stones bright
Tying my hair into a pigtail
I came out of my room like a strong gale


'Father!' I called out loud,
Again and again with a merry voice
I lacked patience and many other virtues
But all of it was unseen
For that day was my birthday

Mother came rushing to me
Held me against her *****
In a creaking voice she said to me..
'Ssh,my child.
He is out
He is out to make our country proud'.


I was 11, a child lost in her own dreams
of colors, dolls and things pretty
Never did I understand my mother's message
For I was a child void of the world of war
of blood and death.

The radio played,
My mother cried.

'What is happening?'
I thought.
The surroundings sulked in gloom
I shook my mother's arm
Tears gushing down her face,she looked at me

'General Smith , died a martyr..'
The radio played
'..served his country till his last breath'
it went on playing.

My world of pretty things bright
was no more bright
For the pall of darkness battled and won over all things nice.

Everything echoed in my ears
My father's name was being played over and over again.
They were singing praises of my father
'He was out to make our country proud' they said.

He finally came
Draped in a white sheet
He was there,sleeping.
Many faces unknown crowded my home
Cried they on the occasion of my birthday.

I went up to him and cried
'Wake up Father, its my Birthday.'
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
For he lay there silent,eyes closed.

'Oh' I muttered
and ran down the hallway
Shutting the doors behind me
I buried myself on the pillow
Praying to God for everything to be a nightmare
I wished for nothing but to fall asleep forever.

My world of pretty things bright
was no more bright
For the pall of darkness battled and won over all things nice.

I was 11 and innocent.
A stranger to the world of war,blood and death.
Hello it's me ,
I want to talk to you,
I want to say that I ...
I love you.

But no... I can't...
Please understand...
Oh, no... forget, I may regret...
I cannot hear the word NO from you...
What if it's YES...
Then I'll just say:
Hello...It's me.
I want to talk to you...
Nov. 2002
 Sep 2014 Field Of Moons
Lucid
ashes
 Sep 2014 Field Of Moons
Lucid
in the beginning
you were my fire

your breath like flames
igniting a spark inside of me
giving me life

but you are no longer fire

all that's left of your fire
are the ashes of my soul that coat my tongue
*whenever i dare speak your name
Its the sound of ****** dancing in your blood
Its the sound of angels  flesh ******* the flames of hell
Its killing a life worth living for
Its living a death worth dying for
Its the feel of gods heart beating frantically in your hand as you play with words
Are you a slave to the pen?  Its puppet?
Or do you think your the master?
Do your rivers run deep or are you just smearing the ink?
Can you hear it?  Dancing, *******, living, dying...
I always paid too much pain to the details
And her kiss was always laced with malice and teeth
But I didn't have anything better to do
And I loved the colors of her misery
She knew how to move in the dark
And I couldn't resist the urge
When the look in her eyes said everything
  I could ever want to hear
She never lied though
But she was always lying
Lying in her sleep
Lying as she walked
Lying with those eyes
Lying with that mouth
Lying naked
Lying and living the lie
Watching her move in the dark
I was willing to believe
And I just couldn't resist the urge
I just loved the details
She moved with a certain kind of madness that was invisible to everyone else, but to me it glared like a beacon of light calling out the demons in my soul. Her teeth were bleached white but I could smell the blood of all the countless souls she had  devoured over her life. I was dead before she even said a word and I was just another stain on her pearly whites as the morning sun crept over my corpse.
The Noise, it drills through me as if I have become the subject of the vicious hammer.
Its piercing din never fades.

As silence looms, and the stillness of nothing hums
It soon begins again.
The sharpness suffocates me, smothers me, chokes me.

And then it’s too late. You chose her and your words destroy me.
Innocent animals born to die
Brutally killed for human food

Cows and pigs suffering death
For a perfect banquet stewed

Many natural food that grow
Delicious right out of the dirt

Yet they still eat with gluttony
Oh this world makes me hurt

Chicks and goats all perished
To prepare for the finest dish

Imagine if you were an animal
You surely never want to wish

My outlook is a world of peace
Not lovely creatures to decay

Animals should not live tragic
A vegetarian I will always stay
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