it's kin
da
like that]]
when
if I left
my earphones in

and forgot
and in the back-ground
some-thing's playin'
but
I've got
opened too many tabs
can't figure
find out where
it's coming from

to x out of it

Break the body and give forth freely
What comes back
~ Comes back to heal Thee

I'm afraid
terrified really

That I'm not good enough for you
That I'm not what you're looking for
That I'm not what you want in a girl

What if you find someone new that is what you're looking for?

And what if you already found her?
Yet you let her slip away
You talk about her like she was all you could ever hope for
Why didn't you take that chance and grab her while you could?

Now you're stuck with me
And I don't think I could be any of the things she is

What if she comes back?
Then what do I become?
I become the cookie dough you eat while you wait for the cookies to finish baking
I may be nice in the moment
But overall I'm a bad idea
And just a way to pass time

And that's why
I'm afraid
terrified really

a.a.

This game

has drained

the life

from me

slow suicide

knowing

what comes next

I wait to feel

the razor

the pain

and welcome

it's sting

I have been

waiting

now for years

and the time

finally draws nigh

the wait

has been

killing me

Ive loved you
For two years and three months.
For 27 months.
For 118 weeks and one day.
For 827 days.
For 19, 848 hours.
For 1,190,880 minutes.
For 71,452,800 seconds.
Ive loved you
Since January 1, 2012.
Since I met you at the skatepark.
Since the day I gave you all of me.
Since the day that you actually made me feel wanted.
Since the day we had our very first kiss.
Ive loved you
With every fiber of my being.
With every inch,
With every corner of my heart.
With every warm touch to my body.
With every tear drop from my eye.
You dont want me
Youve left such an impact on me.
Youve changed my thoughts on love.
Youve changed me.
You still have all of me
Every ounce of my heart.
Every fiber of my being.
Im cold
I dont have a sincere smile.
I dont have a warm touch.
I dont have you.
And it has broken all of me

i've been living in the shadows
in the small crevice in the back of my closet
next to the shoe box filled with love notes and memories

i've been seeing things through a ***** window
a window in my cell
where everything i touch is cold and sends shivers through my spine

i've been sleepwalking through this 'life'
as if it is my own
but i don't recognize the face i see in the mirror

i've been loving
every gentle, comely face that lay in their despair
and they run, they sprint, as i lay helpless

i've been trying, caring, wanting
and each and every time i am reminded
there is nothing good for me here

this isn't reality