i hate the cold
when you're not there for me to hold

i hate the wind
unless its willing your ship back in

i hate the snow
the chill reminding me of past memories
for which i'm far too old

i hate the sun
the way it blinds me
the way it hides behind the clouds like a child

i hate the spring breeze
how it carries those leaves
how lighthearted it seems
i can hear it laughing at me

i hate the sleet and the hail
they remind me of how
i can never make up my mind
or decide who it is i want to be
whenever i step outside

i hate the moon at night
who simply borrows its light
just like i borrow your time

oh, but i love the rain
more than anything
i love the rain
the way it sings sweet songs to me
the echo of the thunder
the pause between the lightning
like waiting for that one last kiss
the way the streets look
how the pavement seems to radiate
i love the feeling i get
falling along with the rain
pouring myself out
feeling myself circle around the drain
i love the way it weighs down my hair
leaves my clothes heavy and wet
being reminded of how little i am
how little i mean
how i am but one drop
in torrents of rain
flowing into that great ocean
from which we all came

so you can have all your seasons
you can have hail, sleet and snow
you can bask in the sunlight
or hide, with your head in the clouds
breath in the cool breezes
or the cold wind that blows
take shelter from those cold nights
dance under the moonlight that glows
but whatever you do
i ask one simple favor from you

leave me the rain

please leave me the rain.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

that's what you are
a spirit
haunting every square inch
of this aching body
every breath i release
is stolen by you
every word whispered
you hear
you don't leave my mind
won't leave my brain
seeping through my skin
staining my sheets
why can't i breathe
when it's your face i see

i guess the real question is
why do i love you so
when i know
oh god do i know
that you'll never love me back

i know
as each moment passes
that i move farther and farther
outside your mind
when i am stuck
with the image of those eyes
the taste of those lips
the feeling of your hands
rough
but so gentle

you're the storm with no warning
you're a red sky in the morning

but i'm that one dumb sailor
jumping straight in the ocean
i tore my ropes off
to listen to the sirens' sound

i'd gladly tear my heart
to make the room for you to stay
but i know
you wouldn't

you'd look on
with pity and regret
wondering how you let me get so close
how silly must i be
to think someone like you
would ever love
someone like me

i love you the way it hurts
the way it cuts me
further than a knife
i watch the blood
blackened with lust
seeping with envy
all the vices
poison in my veins
i feel you coursing through them
like a drug
going straight to my brain
like the bourbon we once drank
that late night in the city
street lights blinking
and you called me pretty
and part of me died right then and there
knowing that you’d never be mine
mine
that’s all i want
i need it more than i need the air
that i’ve been struggling to breathe
i need to tell you those three words
instead you watch as they strangle me
if only you knew
do you know?
am i fool for assuming your ignorance?
are you blind to my bleeding heart
has my blood not stained the earth enough?
nor your sheets that we lay in?
have my lips not whispered a thousand little things
words phrased perfectly to say
everything but i love you
but god how i love you
how i ache to feel it from you
but i’ll keep on giving
my body and my soul
hoping that one day
i’ll reap what i sow

- - - - - - - - - - -

how can you not see this?
isn’t it cruel to watch me do this
to torture myself so
to beg for love and affection
yes i know i get your attention
but love that’s a burden isn’t love
asking for your time isn’t love
i need no conditions
no terms of agreement
i want crazy endless love
i want to be blinded in imperfection
i want you
all of you
i’d give a hundred years
to spend one more night beside you
i’d breathe my last breath
dying to hear you call me
that sacred name
that beautiful perfect name
i’d give anything
just say that i’m yours