He is an image of illness,
Feeding tube through his nose,
An IV his constant companion,
Every procedure altering his personality
His fragility terrifying, ghosts would envy his pasty complexion
His cells mutating, he is frustrated,
And I stand and watch...
And wish I could save him

Your screams stay silent, never heard,
Their thoughts are violent and absurd,
Your demons vicious, spitting venom
They whisper words of sick intentions
'Do not cry' they laugh with spite
'It could be time to say goodnight'
The darkness fills, you shut your eyes
And choke out one final goodbye

Tell me truly, is it unruly to ruffle the feathers which once taught freedom
To desire distant lands, dismiss demands which are restricting
I was thinking, of adventures, purple skies and orange mountains
Happiness brimming like a fountain, fearless and fantastic
Restless feet ache to tread, upon sands tainted not by dread
Let these craving hearts keep searching and to never to settle like the rest

Today, my neighbors house alarm went off
The defending sound, shattering the silence, a warning
Which revealed the reality
That crime would always be near us and in our proximity
I think it stuck with me more than it did the others
Because as the noise stopped, I'm sure they went back to their bubble
But I stood, thinking about the fluorescent light
A silent sign, that somewhere along the line something wasn't right
Alerting me of the false sense of security, I had all along
It blinked, I thought I was safe, it told me I was wrong
A morse code, telling me that I took it for granted
But the illusion of safety had just been disenchanted
So I began wondering
What other warning lights had I been avoiding
I peered out the window again
And the warning light continued
Begging to be noticed, but I could barely see it
My bubble made it blurry, I felt at home with my ignorance

I love you
You make these words weigh more than what society wants them to
You make those three words feel heavy and precious and now when i say them, they are not to fill a silence but a raw declaration

Anxiety whispers in my ear,
I tell it to go away, not right now, I don't have time
Please... just go for now and come back later

But those words made it scared, scared we aren't so close anymore
It trembled at the thought, I may not want it
Hurt by the fact, I have little time to spare

Its anxiety gave me anxiety,
I feel like the queen of nausea
When I open my mouth, I don't know what could come out
I shake, get dizzy, cry, scream
Anxiety what have you done to me,
Please, I love you, remember?
We are going to be best friends, for now...
And well... forever

Because he granted me wings, a priceless heavenly gift...

His emotional signature, lives within each feather, as an effervescent spark everlasting.

His exuberant energy, my wild companion, as I soar to sun and sky, stretching my imagination.

If I was granted the chance,
to have you once again,
If fate decided differently,
And your life didnt end...

I would hold you within a warm embrace,
Because grief replaced you too quickly.
And the words 'she's in a better place' have sounded far too sickly,
Let me look within your eyes, try to fiercy remember each detail,
I'm filled with fear that when I think of you, my memory could fail.

Give me the opportunity to fulfill the promises I pushed to 'another day'
I wish I realized time is not loyal, there are still words left to say
I love you, today and forever, I would say it much more often,
I should of told you, you mean everything to me and that you will never be forgotten
And if that chance didnt come, I would settle for a poem
Because I'd fall apart without you and forever stay broken

Let your heart soar to heights so frightening,
When you find logic restricting and tightning
To not let your mind argue your dreams, but wonder among beautiful possibilities
Let your legs carry you through testing storms
And your soul have faith when you feel torn
Let the bitterness fall, your happiness bloom
All of this I wish for you

I feel like my love for you is a weakness,
When I said my final goodbye, my heart beat...beat...beat and when yours no longer did, it tried to commit suicide
The only downside, it failed. It took irregular beats, trying to match my feet as I dragged myself away
My heart, beat....beat..beat, you told me to be brave
Your beautiful smile wide, assuring me it would be okay
I'm not saying you lied, but here I slouch, tear stained cheeks, my mind in disarray,
My heart, beats....beats........beats......
Well at least for today

Poetry is complicated
Whether it be your teardrops onto the ink of painful truths
The deafening anger, when you have such strong emotion inside of you, words scramble out of your way
The heartfelt syllables read by someone who cant appreciate, your soul on a page
Or the crossing out of words, because they never say what you plead them to

Yet we write anyway

Because sometimes there is a moment,

Everything you've been trying to say, flows from your hand and suddenly, it falls into place, in front of you a piece of literature that encapsulates what was held in your heart and head for too long

I DO NOT HAVE WRITERS BLOCK,
I have a pain that rips through each pore of my trembling body, so incredulously devistating my cries sound more like the wretched howl of an injured animal than anything resembling a human being.
I DO NOT HAVE WRITERS BLOCK
I have words that are unable to hold the weight of my emotion, so this undeniable agony comes out sounding as easy as a Sunday sleep in.

That first time he touched me, I could have screamed,
Demanding to know where he has been, or if fate forgot about our destiny, temporarily…
Because in that moment his hands were all I needed
and I had needed them for so very long, that affection… provided direction, for a soul who was wandering lost for what felt like eternity

It's child's play they say, to dance upon the day
Golden sunlight enveloping their happiness, which seems to come from deep within
Their laughter echoes in the breeze, but it's not as easy as it seems
To live for each flourished moment

His presence quiets the voices within my head
The voices that point out how many people could be looking at me
How they could be analyzing me, tearing me apart for all to see
Their sound of laughter is their way of mocking me
These voices echo within my body, their honestly killing me,
Their brutality making self-consciousness a constant enemy
With no pity, they attack and aim to **** all ease
But with him, it is different, the voices take a break
From their daily schedule of mocking and ridicule
His voice fills my head, a soothing alibi to fight with me
But I know without him square one is a certainty, no improvement
I will be a stranded soldier, fighting an army,
Of voices with no weapons, but words that bring me to my knees
So for now, with no unease, I will enjoy the quiet and hope he stays with me

I tried to give you warmth, to ease your darkened soul, 
your vicious thoughts prevailed, and I could not persuade 
I tried to ease your pain, but you had given up,                                          
all that remained was searing anger cast forth to destroy all love.    
I saw you standing on the edge,
ready to forget,  
willing to move on,
you took that one last step,   
creating crevices between us while I just held my breath,        
'please come back to me my love, this is not over yet'
but you were far too gone, a distant memory   
remember you chose to stay behind
I tried to take you with me.