Sometimes
I still think of you.
Most times
You're here in with me.
Head or heart
In both, sometimes apart
..Forever the heart.

I wish I could just say 'hi'
And tell you
That at times I go back,
Reminiscing on you and I.
I need to tell you
That when I said that "I will love you..
Always, no matter what"
That I really meant it,
Standing the test of time.

I wanted to tell you that if you still really feel
Everything I feel..
Then I must to apologize for all the Agony.
The negative emotions,
The way I look but don't see.
And all of the too many thoughts I still have.
The fears & Energy...
I hope they're far from you my dear.

**** I still love you.
**** it hurts so bad.

I fear crashing into you,
For my heart will be totaled.
I can't know
If you're happy or sad,
Both would be equally bad.
I can't see your skin,
The freckles running down your arm.
I wouldn't be able to look
Into your eyes
See your soft thighs,
My insides would just stop working, die.

I fear you having negative
or false thoughts towards me,
Thinking that I moved on.
I'm so afraid that you're still hurting,
Like I'm hurting.
There is no one,
no where to move past you.
I need you to know that
You are still my number one,
Forever.
I changed with you,
You became a piece of my soul
Which I could never erase,
I wouldn't want to.

Please know
I'm still here,
Thinking you're beautiful
Even though I've seen your ugly.
Precious girl,
I wish I could tend to you
When you're down.
I wish I could see you up..
Smiling,
But I really can't.

If you thought differently,
I need you to know,
It was you,
It was me.

How silly,
I still care for you..
More than anyone.
My blood, it's you,
My sight, it's you.
My vision of  Love,
It will remain..
You.

Even if you have moved on
I need you to know that
I still am deeply in love with you.
Not rivers deep,
And not oceans deep.
Not even galaxies deep,
Or the universe deep.

It's black hole deep,
Only we know what's in
That black hole.
Nothing can or will ever compare.

Please know.

Don't let a piece of paper define you
You write who you are
You don't rub out
You leave a mark

Your romance carved into trees
Your sadness watercolours of ink
Your happiness an explosion of paint
Your anger scrunched up beside the bin

You write essays on stories you don't care for
Read something that makes your heart cling to your chest seeking love
Something that makes your brain question the very beauty of life
Something that gives you goosebumps with feelings you cant explain

They are scared of how strong you really are
Schools don't educate they dictate
Educate yourself
You are the greatest teacher

Your brain is the self made nuke
They are scared you are going to blow
A war that is your true self
Its better to fight standing than fearing on your knees.

you could tell me how beautiful i am
or how much you love me
or how important i am
and i would still be paranoid that you were lying.

An old, mad, blind, despised, and dying king,—
Princes, the dregs of their dull race, who
Through public scorn,—mud from a muddy spring,—
Rulers who neither see, nor feel, nor know,
But leech-like to their fainting country cling,
Till they drop, blind in blood, without a blow,—
A people starved and stabbed in the untilled field,—
An army, which liberticide and prey
Makes as a two-edged sword to all who wield,—
Golden and sanguine laws which tempt and slay;
Religion Christless, Godless—a book sealed;
A Senate, Time’s worst statute unrepealed,—
Are graves, from which a glorious Phantom may
Burst, to illumine our tempestuous day.