i guess you could say ive been getting better lately
or maybe you could say ive been getting worse

but no one will ever be able to tell, right?

so ive been thinking about ending my life a lot lately. nothing seems real anymore. i just feel so, so worthless. ya know? i dont know how to handle anything anymore. i used to try to be happy, but i kinda just gave up. ive tried hopelessly to recover but nothing seemed to work. the coping skills, they let me down. they dont work. my antidepressants, they make me feel worse. i just dont know how to cope with my emotions, and i dont think i ever will. so i need to make up my mind. death or wellness?

so you're gone.

i guess i couldn't
give you what you wanted.

ive been crying and
contemplating on harming
because i really need you.

im sorry that i couldn't
satisfy you.

but you're gone now.
im so sorry.

i need you to love me.
i need you to be here.
i need you to believe in me.
i need you to stay by my side.

you are my air,
i cant live without you.

so please, never leave me.
i wont be able to breathe.

please never leave me,
there is no way i could live without you.

i cant live without
your touch.
without your smile.
without your love.

so please please please, stay by my side forever.

i need you.

i dont remember when,
or how it happened,
but i fell into this black hole.

i cried more.
i felt badly about myself.
i didnt laugh as much.

but nobody seemed to notice.

you could tell me how beautiful i am
or how much you love me
or how important i am
and i would still be paranoid that you were lying.