There is some point in our life,
When things get rough,
When things get tough,
Like rivers, soon it will dry.

Nothing stays permanent,
Nothing stays forever.
Everything has an end,
Maybe today, maybe not yet.

But as a river dries up,
There's something, a cause to it.
Something that's blocking its source,
Something that cut its connection.

Like the hearts of two lovers,
It continue to flow.
Until some sort of obstacle appears,
Blocking the path between the two.

Some barriers can be taken down,
But some are permanent in time.
Causing two hearts to give up,
Causing two lovers to let go.

But time heals every pain,
It's just, not right on the spot.
But you can still find a way,
Find another, open way.

With that obstacle up ahead,
You can go around it,
With another path to take on,
With another road to lead you.

Like a river all dried up,
Water, it still finds it way.
From the hot, barren land,
It will struggle its way back.

Given the circumstances,
Learn not to give up.
Cuz like a river that dried up,
You too, can still move forward, no matter where you stay.

To be totally honest I forgot this website existed, until for some reason I started cleaning out my old email, last checked circa 2015.

Along the way, I forgot about these words that used to fill my head. I grew up, apparently. I was so caught up in being everything, I forgot that I'm me. No amount of resumes or friends or post on Instagram determines who I am, only I do. I forgot that I steer my fate.

I completely forgot about the unruly delight of letting words dissipate from my mind into thin air, and trapping them in my laptop screen. There's some unequivocal satisfaction in being able to take a foggy thought, and make it clear by wrapping it in pretty adjective and metaphors. For some reason, my shoulders relax in a way that's different, even special.
I never did this for you, this was always for me.. I forgot that I do this for me.

I forgot what it was like to pick words like the petals of a flower, delicately, because being delicate creatures makes our feelings just as frail and vulnerable.
I forgot to pick words delicately.
I realize now that my words are like bubbles, floating with ease through the air eventually making their point with a subtle 'pop'. My words have been more like lumps of hail, uncontrollably destructive to everything in their way. I forgot what it was like to choke up on emotions that I didn't know I had, that only this simple thing can reveal.

Most importantly, I forgot who I was. This young girl, lost and confused and trying her best to know herself. To be honest I still don't know myself. Sometimes I get mad at myself for that but then I remember, that this, this simple thing, saved me from consuming myself for years. Maybe it still can.

I realize now, that my undying anger can be tamed. That no, I am not some evil beast cursed to live in angsty distress. I am human, I will always struggle to live with my imperfections. I no longer need to try and teeter between the balance of good and evil inside me, because I'm human. I teeter regardless.

I had forgotten the eternal weight of words, how they create and destroy the world around me. That words are everything when you feel like you have nothing. That words can save lives, can save my life. That there can never be enough no matter how hard I try. That's not my fault. I realize now that life is not determined by my words but rather that my words should seek to give life, to enhance.
I forgot that there's no need to hate myself for being human, that if this life needs anything it's more love. I forgot that it's okay to slow down, to speak softly and to question everything. I forgot this for so long, but I think I'm starting to remember.

The morning light revealed your shadows
every speckle and every tarnish
how immaculate your inperfections were;
I adored every single one of them

You left that morning to never return
I thought I would implode and drown
so every day I waited for a miracle
but you were as elusive as God himself.

Still, I remember that cold winter night,
when moonlight drew falling stars in your eye
your heart's desires bloomed just for me,
and how the blush of your lips kissed my cheek.

but here I lie, awake in darkness
without my lover and only tears as company
I wish we could turn back time to that night,
but only in my dreams could our love last forever.

I still sometimes wear
your sweater
to sleep.