you are like ******,
the devils drug.
one hit and i crave you.
i crave that feeling of euphoria.
you make me feel happy, good, mellow.
but i grow accustomed to you,
and i crave more.
more interaction, more contact.
i need more of you to give me that high.
but my body aches, i cant sleep,
and i get waves of nausea
when i cannot have you.
i go insane for another hit.
“just one more.”
but one turns into two,
which becomes three,
and they keep adding up.
i cant stop wanting you.
i am addicted to you.
you are ******.

I knew i shouldn't have gotten close,
shouldn't have risked everything,
to make you happy,
to be there for you,
only to have you hurt me,
it started like a dream,
a girl like you,
confident and willing to talk to me,
despite my looks and my thoughts about myself,
i remember the days we spent,
sitting and talking,
laughing and smiling,
talking about art,
about flowers,
about our different taste in music,
it's okay because i wanted to be near you,
i wanted you to know me,
like me,
but then things changed,
you changed,
your jokes began to get more real,
too painful for me to bear,
i started to get upset,
feel things i never felt before,
you,
you shouldn't be having this effect in me,
you,
i love you,
a little too late for that,
a little too late for everything,
you moved on,
did i mean anything to you?
did you love me?
the way i loved you,
did you feel the same?

i guess not,
you moved on,
as if i was nothing but a chapter,
in your book,
i tried,
i tried to move on,
soo badly i wanted something more,
than to feel this craving for you,
and to know,
i couldn't have you,
i tried to listen,
to the other girls,
tried to take my mind away from you,
but it always,
always came back to
you,

i heard them,
but i wasn't listening,
all i could really hear,
was your voice,
and the last thing you said to me,
sorry,
a stupid little word,
sorry,
i ****** up,
sorry,
i wasn't enough,
sorry,
you had to leave,

what's the point anymore,
of anything,
of caring for you,
only to have you use me,
what's the point,
on wanting love again,
wanting someone else,
for them to do the same thing,
find someone better,
leave me,
without telling me,
and break my heart,

yes,
you broke my heart,
yes,
it will take a while,
yes,
i still think about you,
yes,
this is all too painful,

i message you,
i waited and waited,
for your reply,
my eager little heart,
thinking maybe you will say something else,
but no,
all you said was sorry,
i thought that maybe,
i would feel something from it,
feel closure,
let it go,
but it didn't,
these feeling won't go away,
and i need them to go away,
please,
can you just,
go away,

I knew i shouldn't have gotten close,
shouldn't have risked everything,
to make you happy,
to be there for you,
only to have you hurt me,