I want to crack every bone in my body, and turn my screams into twigs under your feet.
I feel my lungs breaking,
And my heart aching.
I need a sense of purpose.
Something to tell me that its all worth it.

Ascend me to the heavens
And let my soul vanish.
Tell god about my flaws,
I don't care if its tarnished.
Hollow out my thoughts,
Allow my eyes to become blackened.

I don't doubt your love,
But your resemblance is uncanny.
To the sadness in my veins
And the bleak future that I carry.
The bruises on my shoulders have been too much to take,
But the numbness never ceases to await.
Allow me to fall apart.
Take my life and give it to another worth the breath.
Destroy my view of the world,
And don't accept another like it.
My last words will be, 'I didn't fight it'.

Ascend me to the heavens
And let my soul vanish.
Tell god about my flaws,
I don't care if its tarnished.
Hollow out my thoughts,
Allow my eyes to become

darkened.

And he told me, "You, my dear, are not a collection of people's memories. You don't need to house and protect everyone; you don't need to display and be proud for what they've done; you don't need to preserve them when all they do is walk over you. There will be moments that you have to guard them, but there will be much more of you having to watch out for your own self. You live for yourself and have confidence in it. You may be broken at times, but it's the fragments which make you much more intricately detailed.  You have the potential to be the main attraction. All you have to do is to let it show. Remember, you are not a museum, but a masterpiece of art."

You came into my life
the way spring comes to wake up everything around
planting flowers in my soul
making the sun rise
and the stars shine
when all I could see was darkness
and moonless skies.

Like a prisoner dreaming of freedom
I spend my darkest hours dreaming of you
in my heart there was such a hole
and you with a smile
filled it whole.

Water has a bad taste
cause my lips are pinning for your sweet wine
and nothing  can compare with the elixir
my hearth wants to have

I would fall in hell a million times
to feel the way your flame burns my body,
I will prey to all the gods of the world
to  have you in my eyes
the way I have you in my mind

I am a prisoner and you such a free soul
I am a prisoner
dreaming of the freedom
the freedom you are
in my weakest bones.

If I were to run, where would I go?
Who would I see?

Would I be safe and sound?
Or in danger risking my life?

Would I still be me?
Or would I create a new identity?

Would I still love you?
Or would you not exist?

Would I still have these scars?
Or would fresh ones appear?

Who would I be?
Where would I go?

I am in limbo
      between universes
between stars
I am ensconced
       in my own light
in tangible luminance
stored deep inside
                   tiny
                      glass jars
I am whirling into new orbit
     as I take on this luster,
                 this shine
I furl forth choices
in magic spells weaving
                   and take back        
what was always
so rightfully mine
I now hold the staff
      that will part the seas
of my new way
       in this labor
because, honey, there
ain't no time
to waste
no horse
        no glowing, knighted savior
Until this hour
              I was crawling
         but I now I start to rise
as I have my final say
               and the northern lights
         spew out from behind my eyes
I am through with
          this land of ice, land of jagged spires
It is time to bust up
             all those submissive plans
          and spray the whole
place with arctic fire
yeah time to mark it
juice it up
till it licks up pain, till it burns
release pent up years
              of unneeded conflict,
of tensed up
           twists and turns
so just you try
to break me apart
as I try to navigate
between tectonic plates
on two lands
The only knight here
          is my own true self
the situation neatly
in my
     hot little hands

Pills Pills Pills
Catch me in free-fall
A medicated safety net

I wear my diagnosis
          Major Depressive Disorder
Like a scarlet letter

Existing on an island
          Between crazy and calm
          Lost and found

Pills Pills Pills
Pull me out of obscurity
So I can begin to forget.