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  Jul 2014 Danielle Doucette
Poppy fox
I've gone under
swirling around
subject to their order.

I'm not in control anymore.

They've got me dancing around the rocks
in a firm embrace,
constricting.
somehow so comforting.

Silky smooth, caressing, smothering
taking over.

I'm not struggling anymore.

Overwhelming feeling of calm,
they drag me further down-
I move freely.

So nice to be wanted.
So so nice.

The waves take me,
drowning my sorrows
quite literally.
  Jul 2014 Danielle Doucette
wroxy work
butterflies
are flitting about my stomach
and down my veins
through my limbs to reach
my very fingertips and
urge me to pass them along –
maybe if you feel the same
our touch will send
sparks flying
and our lips colliding
and then everything will make sense.

i had forgotten what it feels like
to be wary of my posture
and my under-eye circles;
i hope you do not look upon them
and see the sleepless nights
of my past –
because since i have met you
i have never slept so well.

this anxiety all the time
is condensation falling from the glass
to the table
and fogging up the outside
so no one can see in.

my lips have only been stained
by recent 3 a.m. coffee breaks
and constant biting
my cheek and my tongue –
breathing has never felt so
difficultly easy
than it has
around you.

bold-w.l.w
7/13/14*bold
  Jul 2014 Danielle Doucette
ili
it seems I am out of place
filled with vacant conversations
and a weary heart
I'm not suicidal
but
I don't want to breath,
Breathing is thinking
I don't want to think.
I don't want to feel.
it seems I am out of place
and a weary heart and heavy mind are not easily mended with vacant conversations
I'm not suicidal
I just want this void to fill.
  Jul 2014 Danielle Doucette
Bec
My mother always used to tell me
that I could read anyone.
"Give them an hour with you", she'd laugh,
"and you'd just know."
Then I met you
and it seems that your book is
written a language that I just don't understand.
This illiteracy is driving me mad
and I know I would spend years just to
decipher one page.

- R. H.
I don't care

I will not care 

For I've learned my lesson

I will not bow like a lowly peasant

I will not dip my fingers in boric acid hoping I can save you from the burning ashes

Just so you can walk away

Unscathed, and do it again

Then show no love for me

I want you  to be happy

But at my expense

Is this what you call happiness

For shame

And shame once more

That's why I do not care anymore

I don't dive in rivers deep

To break my hands and feet

Have my lungs collapse and save your life

Just for you to do it again

Im no hero

I'm human

But you might as well be a villain

Maybe I'm not chosen

For your notice

So I can warm you heart

So it won't remain frozen

I am not going to watch you weep just to pick you up at your feet

To catch you while you fall
And break the bones that support my knees

Just so when I fall

You don't catch me
 
Or at least put a pillow out

I know burdens can be heavy and make you sink

I'm not evil oh no no please

Look at the scars and the way I bleed
And the tears that have stained my cheeks

I will not love you back

To make my soul a darker black

I'd rather rip out all my hair

And be lonely and at despair

Then to love you anywhere

I don't Care
My broken loving apparatus
'Perspective betrays with its dichotomy:
train tracks always meet, not here, but only
    in the impossible mind's eye;
horizons beat a retreat as we embark
on sophist seas to overtake that mark
    where wave pretends to drench real sky.'

'Well then, if we agree, it is not odd
that one man's devil is another's god
    or that the solar spectrum is
a multitude of shaded grays; suspense
on the quicksands of ambivalence
    is our life's whole nemesis.

So we could rave on, darling, you and I,
until the stars tick out a lullaby
    about each cosmic pro and con;
nothing changes, for all the blazing of
our drastic jargon, but clock hands that move
    implacably from twelve to one.

We raise our arguments like sitting ducks
to knock them down with logic or with luck
    and contradict ourselves for fun;
the waitress holds our coats and we put on
the raw wind like a scarf; love is a faun
    who insists his playmates run.

Now you, my intellectual leprechaun,
would have me swallow the entire sun
    like an enormous oyster, down
the ocean in one gulp: you say a mark
of comet hara-kiri through the dark
    should inflame the sleeping town.

So kiss: the drunks upon the curb and dames
in dubious doorways forget their monday names,
    caper with candles in their heads;
the leaves applaud, and santa claus flies in
scattering candy from a zeppelin,
    playing his prodigal charades.

The moon leans down to took; the tilting fish
in the rare river wink and laugh; we lavish
    blessings right and left and cry
hello, and then hello again in deaf
churchyard ears until the starlit stiff
    graves all carol in reply.

Now kiss again: till our strict father leans
to call for curtain on our thousand scenes;
    brazen actors mock at him,
multiply pink harlequins and sing
in gay ventriloquy from wing to wing
    while footlights flare and houselights dim.

Tell now, we taunq where black or white begins
and separate the flutes from violins:
    the algebra of absolutes
explodes in a kaleidoscope of shapes
that jar, while each polemic jackanapes
    joins his enemies' recruits.

The paradox is that 'the play's the thing':
though prima donna pouts and critic stings,
    there burns throughout the line of words,
the cultivated act, a fierce brief fusion
which dreamers call real, and realists, illusion:
    an insight like the flight of birds:

Arrows that lacerate the sky, while knowing
the secret of their ecstasy's in going;
    some day, moving, one will drop,
and, dropping, die, to trace a wound that heals
only to reopen as flesh congeals:
    cycling phoenix never stops.

So we shall walk barefoot on walnut shells
of withered worlds, and stamp out puny hells
    and heavens till the spirits squeak
surrender: to build our bed as high as jack's
bold beanstalk; lie and love till sharp scythe hacks
    away our rationed days and weeks.

Then jet the blue tent topple, stars rain down,
and god or void appall us till we drown
    in our own tears: today we start
to pay the piper with each breath, yet love
knows not of death nor calculus above
    the simple sum of heart plus heart.
I think ill always be sad;
not in the way most people think.
i don't always want to cry
or fall to my knees
or scream words even i can't comprehend.

I age like the sun.

Time slowly ticks,
closer
&
closer
to the day when it has taken all that it can
and its endless energy erupts
into infinite darkness,
never to be seen again.
somedays i feel like the sun;
although, i don't light up the galaxy.
I don't cause the earth to rotate in perfect
distance,
and I don't control
day
&
night,
but someday
my energy will erupt too,
leading me into infinite darkness,
never to be seen again.
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