i have been staring at this notepad,
trying to think of something to come and write itself out on this page,
but nothing seems to work.

not the late nights, not the jitters in my hands, not even the lack of sleep seems to be having their same loving effects.

i'm not sure how to get out of this little bout of writers block, not sure how to connect again with my words.

i miss the feeling of feeling, and i miss that feeling of relieve i got every time i wrote out everything i tried to say and never could.

Love is not, and love will never be
The Mountain tips that touch the sky
But, yes it is the sorrowful night I brought to thee
An iridescent high

To worship is not to love
But I know of nothing more
Waiting for the chance at the veiled cove
Knock three times on wood-less door

But why does the moon long for the sun?
Still waiting, still wishing, even after the breaking of dawn.
The moon continues to chase, in the never ending run.
In eclipses she shatters, in eclipses he yawns.

The foolishness of love, the gentleness of pain
Something I will never trade, **the darkest stain.

mechanical girl,
of blood and bone,
killed a pig with knife and stone,
she took it's leather to make it her own,
and sewed it on when she got home,
with a curly wig to impress,
and a twirling sundress,
she fooled them all,
but when they looked closer-everyone saw,
it was simply a tale, much too tall.

For so long it was wrong
And it was so wrong that night
But How can I heal this?
Set this right?
Let the wounds breathe
And **** off the fight

Do you see a ****** bandage
If you look my way?
And is that ****** memory,
What makes you turn away?

Should I cut up the bandage?
And show you that there’s skin?
It’s scarred, but it works,
And it’s a place to begin

Seems you spend
so much time
worried sick
about my mental state
I'm starting to think
I'm not okay.
You convince me
I'm not okay.
Let me lie here
enjoy the silence.
I don't want to drown
inside of worry.
Not anymore.

Cold tap water, colder shoulders
are you mad or still waking up?
When is the last time you slept through the night?
or better yet, spent the whole night inside?
What are you looking for out in the street anyway?
This road's been a dead end since the first time
you let the liquid sugar hit your veins harder than your lips,
and instead of sips now you indulge every day just to get by,
but I still don't get why you let yourself get that bad.
You forgot about the daughter, mother, friends you had,
didn't you?

We didn't forget about you,
the sugar still turns you white,
even in your casket I can smell the apologies as I bend over for
one last goodbye,
I refuse to watch a family breakfast crumble
at the hands of ****** again,
I refuse to let a substance win,
like it did with you.

What made you call a ***** a *****? I mean you asked for it? Dressed for it? Wanted it? Are you the ***** or she a *****? Is me a ***** or he a *****? Did you get lost in the infinity of self acted human nature? Where we move together and we're all ****** on same levels screaming out names of Devils that sleep in your bed.

Lilies
And
Lies
Offset
Tulips
And
Truths.            An Unrequited Bouquet.