You just seem so sure.
Of this.
Of us.
Meanwhile im over here
waiting on my wings
to pick up wind
and waiting on you to be
disappointed
because ive engraved the words
"disappoint or be disappointed"
into my brain
with sword of experiences
and i just dont see
how youre so sure
and calm
while im
just
*******
terrified

Inhale, Exhale,
Sitting at a table waiting for a girl that will never arrive,
       Next to me, I watch as her easy grin melts into her mouth,
Checking my phone three times a minute for a text that will never be delivered,
       I reach out and grab her hand to feel she’s real,
Staring at my reflection wondering what part of me is not good enough,
      Her eyelids droop, but mischief dances behind her grey and red
      gaze,

I cough,

she laughs,

we kiss,

And everything around me goes up in smoke.

Summer nights with you
got me feeling like
I have so much to pour out
World seems less cruel
The nights that left you with
a feeling, that we could live once again
and the endless chats felt
like a merging of souls
so baby girl
I really hope
it will swallow us whole.

i see you in the dark, my darling
waiting on edge in my front yard.
i float to you engulfed in flames
preparing for a bittersweet broken heart.

was it something that slipped
from my liquor stained red painted lips?
or casper herself casting a long shadow
on your barren sahara grey walls?

how long did you know that you'd leave me?
since the last time we made love
and you slipped back into the darkness
through my window without a parting kiss?
or did you know from the very beginning
with your white corvette crystal lies?

i remember the way you fought with me
in my bed, pushing me hard to the ground,
and my heart breaks with the death of the day
to think that i'll never hear your voice again
or your low groans or feel your fist wrapped
like a diamond necklace around my throat.

you haunt my dreams and i cannot sleep,
your shadow still waltzes around my room.
you're larger than life, my burnt out elvis.
they all told me you were a big time dealer.
siesta key was once your home, but now you ride
under the radar in your cool crimson beater.

prison called and your empire almost fell,
but you can't **** the king of floridia,
for he rules the dead straight from hell
without mercy; better take what you're dealt.

pretty kitty, always ocean blue and starry eyed,
baby's a god, heaven found in my cherry pie.
queen of hearts always knows what's on your mind;
i know you'll come around again and then you will be mine.

you feel like heaven
between my thighs
when you fill my soul
stars form before my eyes
the way you breathe is intoxicating,
primal and raw in my ear
the way you hold me is maddening,
so close to you and dear
the world melts away
when your lips meet mine
or you catch my Monroe gaze
i'm in love with you Mr. Ocean Eyes
you taste like sin
and the trouble i'm in
i'm drunk off the way you speak to me
so fast and cheap
i miss your hand clenched
around my frail throat
and your hotboxed car
filled to the brim with smoke
Daddy, don't be mean
you're forever my King
no need to doubt my loyalty
when pretty kitty treats you like royalty

You told me today,
That you wanted to die.
I could tell in your voice,
That it wasn’t a lie.

I never noticed till now,
Of how you fidgeted more.
I never noticed till now,
Of the sweaters you now wore.

But I did noticed now,
How your skin seemed pailer,
How your eyes darker.
Have you been eating?
Have you even been sleeping?

But when you told me,
I finally saw.
The darkness that surrounds you.
When did you start to fall?

Why didn’t I noticed,
That your smile missed your eyes.
Why didn’t I noticed,
That your voice told such lies.

If I had noticed sooner,
Would this had ever happened.
If I had noticed sooner,
Would you had never saddened.

I screamed for you,
Wanting it to not be true,
I cried for you,
Though I didn’t have a clue.

I waited for you,
For you to react,
But the mirror stayed still,
My image intact.

The marks and bruises on my body
daddy says don't show
His voice in my head
screaming  "don't tell"
Daddy says it's okay to be a *****
He says it's okay to earn what you eat
But then why do I feel filthy everynight after he is done?
Why can't I wash the filth away?
Is daddy doing something wrong
or is it just me?
Forget me
iam just being paranoid
Daddy is never wrong.