i type my middle name cautiously
s
e
o
y
o
u
n
g
and watch resignedly as the red squiggle appears underneath
but with smug satisfaction
i right click
and hit
'add to dictionary'
hah, take that
i am now part of the lexicon
and you can't stop me

i was alone
within a crowded room
when it came for me
i could feel it lurking
amongst the deadened souls
and its amber eyes
disguised themselves as comfort
to pierce through my flesh

its hands looked like yours
but embraced my neck
and as they tightened their grasp
its talon fingers
reached towards my flooding eyes
and traced a path down my cheek
carving skin in the pattern of a waterfall

it fastened chains
around my chest
and invisible serpents
slithered their way into my lungs
their vile breath
stealing the air within them

and as my nails began to dig
to hide from the monster
buried beneath my skin
the indolent world around me
gave no second glance
for my screams were silent


x.

I bind my eyes to the paper
And settle into your skin
I gather up your soul
And let the journey begin

I fall into that fever
That I’ve heard about before
But only in your pages
Always crying out for more  

Our fingers intertwine
Until we’re one down to the bone
And I dance in your shoes
Until I breathe your breaths alone

Beneath the power of your fate
I wander through your vale
But the colors of your cosmos
Render my own world much too pale

I fall in love with every story
Live every life that they might lend
But to my own I must return
Because the stories always end

I fell out of love
with the thought of
falling in love.

If poems meant words
And words were there

Where do you go?
When words you once wrote you let go?

Do you still hear an echo?
Where did you go?

she asked him
'why is it
that i have yet to know a poet
who doesn't hold a bottle
the same way he holds his pen'

he replied simply
'darling
a poet's hands are weary
so he must find some way
to ease the weight of his words'


x.

Don’t fall in love with me.
There are days when I get sad without a reason
And I just stare at the ceiling
Senseless thought running around my mind like phrase
With tears streaming down my face.

Don’t fall in love with me.
On those days, I don’t talk to anyone.
I just bury myself on my mattress
And think about how I became this mess of sadness.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will become attached to you
And I will cry myself to sleep
If you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep
I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m too much.
I will depend on you.
I need attention, much more than other people.
I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one.
I’ll write poems about you and open up notepad at 2 A.M.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor
Shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists.
I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you,
Every bit of love, until I have nothing to give.
Until I become completely empty.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will replay your sweet words in my head
When I hate myself so much that I want to die.
Your words will be the only things that make me stay.

Don’t fall in love with me.
You will live in fear.
You won’t be able to leave me,
Because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay.
You’re my reason now.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Because I will fall in love with you

She is smart
And she does stand out
But she is too resentful
At society
Because it does not adore her