schizophrenia is back.

I talk to the creature sat at the end of my bed,
He takes his hands and places them on my head,
I cry into his palms,
He is humble,
He is kind,
The only vision that has been in the whole of my life.

I tell him my troubles,
My worries,
My pain,
He whispers and tells me to keep being sane.

I tell him I lost my mind a long time ago,
He says
"Oh my dear, no.  You are the one who's sane amoung a world that is crazy. Take this your gift and let your life flow."

He tucks me into bed,
Wipes my eyes,
Tells me to never believe anyone's lies,
He leaves me now,
Walks away,
I close my eyes,
And drift away.

After a lifetime of "my gift" giving me grief,
Pain, despair, and broken belief,
The creature he showed me,
That not all is bad,
There is hope still,
maybe I'm really not mad.

This was not love making.
This was sin
and the devil victoriously
danced between the sheets.

We live in a world where no means convince me and flirting is a green light for ***.
Where women are told, don't get ***** and men are rarely told, don't ****.
Where **** shaming is encouraged and victims are blamed.
Where speaking out about **** is a call for attention and **** victims are silenced.
We live in a world where **** culture is normal and that is **unacceptable.

I** might not be the smartest
I might not be the prettiest
I might not  be the thinnest
I might not be the most talented
I might not be the sportiest
I might not be the most popular
I might not be the most stable
I might not be the strongest
I might not be the best at everything
I am not  prefect...
But somehow

That's okay.

-e.b

Every night,
If you'll look closely enough at the sky,
You could see the thousands of Iranian children silently,
Walking trough the minefield,
With plastic keys hanging from their necks
that were promised to bring them
to paradise,
When the mines will
**explode.

Dearest dear,
if you'll look closely enough, you will understand that last night was a comedy,

But...

very word, every thought, and every emotion come back to one core problem:life is meaningless.

But...

I begin to hear voices again, and I can't  seem to concentrate.

But...

Relax-it won't hurt.

But...

Loving you is really hard!

But..

Hey mom, I'm sorry if my blood stained your favorite carpet.

But..

I'm hanging out in the garage. Literally!

But.

P.S I'm really sorry