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Erin Schwartz Mar 2015
How
In life
You realize there is a difference between living
And living
One may go through life wondering what could be
Others may go through life having everything they want to get finished, finished
Why go through life wondering
When you can wonder on and discover what is all around you

There will always be a need to see new things
Whether it be sights, people or foods
But what about happiness
Some people go through life wondering what it would be like to see happiness
While others seek more than that

For me, happiness is sometimes found
But also sometimes lost
It's discovered and rediscovered a million times over
But how can that be true when happiness isn't truly a thing to find

Happiness is an idea you have to create for yourself  
It doesn't just happen
So why do people sit around and expect happiness to just waltz on into their lives

I realize now I have to work to find the happiness I have been longing for
Feelings of fulfillment and joy don't just come to you
They have to be created through the mind set of positivity

How can you expect it to rain in the middle of a drought without praying first
So my question for you is
How can you expect happiness to come to you without actually working for it
Erin Schwartz Mar 2015
How do we get out of this labyrinth of suffering
We walk back and forth
From one destination to the next
Not ever knowing where we're going

How do we get out of this labyrinth of suffering
Do we stop where we are
Never to continue our journey
Or do we keep walking this long labyrinth of suffering

The easiest way in some eyes is to just stop traveling
And set up camp where we are
But what if where we are isn't good enough
What if we truly believe there is something outside of this labyrinth of suffering

Someone once said which is he trying to escape-
The world or the end of it?
Living or dying?
In my eyes, there is no way out
The labyrinth is both living and dying
The world and the end of it
There's no escaping this labyrinth of suffering
Erin Schwartz Mar 2015
One day they tell you
You can be anything you want
So you start up a dream
Then the next day they tell you how unpractical you're being
But how can you be unpractical when you haven't experienced life in a way that helps you realize the practical forms of what to say and do
How can we as kids realize at such a young age that our dreams really don't matter
We'll never reach them

Growing up they tell you to reach for the stars
You'll be able to catch your dreams if you really try, or at least that's what you believe
But how can you reach something a billion miles away
When you can't even reach small goals that are important to your everyday life

By the age of sixteen you've already given up on your dreams
According to society the only thing that matters is money and looks
But what if you can't have either of those

A year later your daily goals aren't as big but man are they crucial
You're no longer worrying about how much money you'll have or where you shop
The main thing you'll learn to worry about is living
Some people by the age of seventeen want to die and have to make groundbreaking decisions
Do I continue this cycle of broken dreams
Or do I just give up like I did at age ten

At age seventeen you decide to stick through the hard times and see where life takes you
Yes, you went through loads of **** but in the end you're okay, right
Or at least that's what you thought

On your eighteenth birthday you assume there's no bright side to any of this
Today is the day you plan to take your life because you truly believe you're not good enough to reach the goals you set for tomorrow let alone ten years from now
You believe the adults who told you growing up that you were being so unpractical were all right
You couldn't reach those goals or dreams
You couldn't even last a week without breaking your promise to yourself that today would be the day you finally took charge of your life
The day you finally started eating again
The day you finally put down the razor blade
You gave up

At age nineteen you look back at the last three years of your life and realize you're so proud of yourself for not giving up
At age nineteen you're 365 days clean, healthy
Three years ago, when everything started to go down hill for you
You would have never thought you'd be seeing your nineteenth birthday
But yet, here you are celebrating the life that is now in your control
All because you never gave up on your dream of living
Erin Schwartz Mar 2015
1:00AM
Soft kisses
Tight hugs
Warm smiles
And deep conversations

1:10AM
The same kisses, yet softer
Tight Hugs, just a bit tighter
Warm smiles turn into sleepy grins
And deep conversations turn into lustful lullabies

1:20AM
Light pecks of the cheek and neck
Arms draped lazily across ones body
Smiling against ones skin
And random reminders of three little words

1:30AM
No more loving kisses
Arms still intertwined
Grins now formed into straight lines
And silence of late night sleep
Erin Schwartz Mar 2015
So many things in life to love
And all I choose is you
But how can I love someone
Who can't even love me back

So many things in life to hate
And all I choose is you
But how can I hate someone
Who's as perfectly imperfect as you

I wish upon a star
In hopes to find true love
But even the moon in the sky at night
Agrees with the stars
How can I choose someone as horribly beautiful as you
But also
How can I choose someone less riveting than you
Erin Schwartz Mar 2015
You wake up from a great sleep filled with beautiful dreams
I'm still wide awake as I was six hours before you went to bed.
You have no care in the world, living freely
While I'm in bed too tired to sleep.
You say you're so tired of being so busy
But I'm so tired of being alone.
One day you say your life ***** because you failed a test
But how can your life "****" when you haven't failed miserably at it yet?
You've given up on studying for something you really don't need
While I've given up on something so essential to life.
I gave up on breathing, living and seeing the world.
You prefer darkness because you like to think
I prefer sunshine but all I have is darkness.
All I have is you
But you have everything else
And will never really need me like I need you.
To you
Erin Schwartz Mar 2015
1:56AM
Clock ticks slow
Then fast
So does my heartbeat and the thoughts in my head
2:07AM
Thoughts of giving up race around like a remote control car being moved by a kid
I was once that kid moving my thoughts around in my head
Now, the thoughts are the kid moving me around
I'm being consumed and controlled by my own thoughts
Never allowed to think for myself
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