both of us
must grow
and change
at our own
pace
i just hope
that we
will always
come back
to the same
place
together

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

"tip-tap, tip-tap"

I keep my head down as walk through the halls
My shoes are ***** I need to clean them, just don't make eye contact

"tip-tap, tip-tap"

I look up quickly before I bump into a blue shirted young girl
I mumble an apology I know she won't hear because I can't manage to actually say it

"tip-tap, tip-tap"

I stumble into the room, bright and inviting, not intimidating
I see the only two faces that'll smile at having seen me today

Probably the only ones who'll notice me

"tip-tap, tip-tap"

I find my seat in the corner next to the fish with the funny name and finally exhale
I can say the first thing I'll say out loud all day

"Hi."

I'm okay. I know I'll be okay.

Three.
   “It’s too high” I wailed.
   “Jump” she said from the crystal pool.
   “I can’t I’m scared.”
   “I’m here” she cooed “I’ll catch you.”
I did and she did.  

Seven
   “I don’t want to” I kicked
   “Go” she said from the cars window.
   “No, it’s lame”
   “I’ll be here when you’re finished”
I went and she was

Sixteen
   “I can’t” I frustrated
   “ It’s easy” she said from over my shoulder
   “No, it’s stupid”
   “I’ll help, let me show you”
I tried and she taught

Twenty One
   “I want to” I planned
   “You can” she said from inside the phone
   “But, it’s so far”
   “I’m a call away, I’m proud of you”
I went and she was.

Twenty Five
   “I’m scared” she said
   “It will be fine” I reassured from the hospital chair
   “But it isn’t good”
   “Im here for you, the meds will work”
She believed and they didn’t

Twenty Seven
   “It’s over” she whispered
   “I know” I sobbed from the foot of the bed
   “It’s my time to leave”
   “It’s been a rough two years, you can rest now”
She did and I crumbled

Thirty Two
   “I’m hurting” I thought
   “....”
   “I have to be strong”
   “....”
So I try because she watches

Trapped in a state of solitude,
The area surrounding her became a vacant land.

She was magnificent.
Like a flower that wept petals.

Delicate,
but so
immensely
breakable.

cool breeze
Autumn's cloak
through the trees
softly, I spoke

"The only difference between us is
you're too scared to say you love me,
and I'm too scared not to say I love you"

a moon bright
birds twinkling above
stars sing in the night
my song of love

"Lay your head on my chest,
let it fall with my breath. Each rise
is a truth, each fall brings the next"

the fire slowly dies
and the darkness closes in
who could forget all our highs?
who could forget where we've been?

"I'll never see you again,
so maybe it's fine, that you've
succumb to your fears,
and I've beaten mine"

and as seasons drift away
and our time turns frail
all I've left to say
comes in one final exhale

A moment arrives and you let it take
    away any empathy you had
Dull, lifeless I lie dying, beating inside
    your heart, captive
Unheard, I wait for you to finish your
    assault against our love
Lecherous mountain of meat,
    disgusted by you, I can't help but
Turn away, can't bear that
    unapologetic face, so stoic
Essentially, you succumbed to a more
    favorable *****, so you can
Run off for a wet, foreign kiss, but
    please understand
You can never come home