I want all of you.
I want your eyes
and the memories
that hold their hand,
and shushes it so that,
though it's presence is
known and acknowledged,
it is silenced and calm.
I want your smile
that shines the walkway
down your throat,
past your lungs,
and straight to your core.
I want your skin
and the paintings on them,
paintings of days with no sunlight
and straight lines of red.
I want your love.
Every moment of joy and pain
and sorrow and guilt, I want.
I want every goodmorning,
after a night's worth of goodnight.
I want the fear of saying goodbye to you;
knowing that at any moment,
the pit would find it's way back
home in my stomach,
as you're gasping for your last taste
of sweet, sweet air.
I want your love.

Feeling sober in a drunk world
Contact to the unseen
Crowds oblivious
Things lurk in eye corners

Upsets and pain coat the streets
Like Graffiti of fear
My eyelids like glass
Consciousness more a nightmare

Panic in a busy town
To those who wear masks
Fake people
The modern monsters

Conversations like banshees
The sound resonates my head
Left numb to life
Body fatigued from the brain.

If only you knew
The pain I went through
When you
Took my heart and broke it

If only you saw
The tears on my face
Would you come to me?
And wipe them away

I know I’ve changed
But so have you
So please don’t go
Blaming me for everything

If only you knew
I still love you
And if only I accepted
That we are separated

If only I could
Move on
And forget you
It would all be easier

I remember the time
You picked me up
That was the time
That I knew I loved you

If only you knew
That I
Still love you
Would that change anything?

THE GARDEN OF ACCEPTANCE

Shadows are my friends these days.
Nobody can see me crying in the dark.
While the others lie around in the sun
I seek out somber arbors in the park.
The muted light of leaves and limbs
Caress the aches within my heart
And whisper to me to just relax
And let the healing grieving start.

Sometimes I hear some music there
Playing so softly in my inner soul.
I hope to find the inner strength
To think I might someday be whole
Instead of this half a person here
Who doesn’t even notice a sunrise
That spends its multicolor glory
Like a painted cathedral for my eyes.

If people pass and I notice them
They don’t serve to make me sad
Seeing them so happy together
Being contented or even a bit glad,
Because I am here in this serenity
I include them in my private reverie.
The message that life goes on does
Brings restful meditation to me.

But, mostly it’s the natural things;
The birds and the variegated leaves,
The flowers, and cool green lawns
That soothe, and comfort and please.
They slowly help me to realize
That the world in not all about me.
We have to let our sadness fall behind
To truly understand how to be free.

Brent Kincaid
4/3/2015