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 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
Untitled
 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
i miss feeling like i never cared
as if life was merely something id get to experience when im older
but the reality sinks
and hits me in the face
and now im having a mid life crisis during my teen years
and the desire to die makes me high and low at the same time
to the point where i can't distinguish what's real or not
it's a wonderful day
a wonderful day
a wonderful
a wonder

i wonder.
 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
when dawn comes, i will rejoice
and beat my chest to the skies
because it is a reminder
that i lived through another day.
 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
the sun is a pining mess
it had never experienced love like this before
a kind of love that entered its dreams
a kind of love that leaves it wanting to stay awake
to see the moon's shy face
to see the moon's shy smiles
the sun had never before felt its heart sink as it set
had never before felt the urge to stay above the horizon
had never before felt the aching, burning sensation
that this kind of love brought with it
as if it had brought firewood to feed the flames bigger and bigger
it was agonising
yet the sun still continues to grin
maybe a little too bright
that the earth has to complain
and the sun would chuckle ever bashful
and it hides behind the mask of clouds, shy

the sun is a pining mess.
 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
16
 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
16
the fear of growing up
the days have passed, too fast
the years swirl around me like leaves in the afternoon breeze
maybe it isnt so bad
but growing up means to see things as it is
to know things as it is
and to feel things as it is
maybe im too young
maybe im not young enough
to understand
but im afraid of growing up.
i turned sixteen back in late march. it was the loneliest sweet sixteen because of the quarantine but i dont mind. it gave me time to think of things.
 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
it's the scent of rain in the morning
and the sound of rain in the night
it's a feeling that overwhelms you
yet a feeling not quite
when all the world is fast asleep
but you sit there, eyes wide

it is the aching in your heart
the stinging in your eyes
it is the sentences left unsaid
and the desire to rewind
but it is also the fear of embarrassment
the fear of crowds
but the desire to speak up
and speak aloud

but no one can hear you
no one wants to.
 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
the want to destroy but the need to create
the need to grieve yet the want to celebrate
to build a temple not to worship
but mock a god
to raise a building only to watch it fall
the desire to say no but you can't seem to refuse
the want to love but hatred is all you use
to be angry and scream
but you can't help but smile
the need to live in reality
but be stuck in a lie.
 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
Graceful
 Jun 2020 Divya Kaushik
lua
Graceful is the way death floats down to earth
Like a feather, a bird
Placing its hand upon a young person's shoulder
It tugs on their clothes as a child would
And the young person kneels down
Grabs death's small arms with a smile
And they walk, hand in hand
To where? I don't know.
dedicated to my friend who passed away.
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