I remember when you were all
Tattoos & cigarettes
For me-

Cherries and swallows inked on your skin
You knew how tattoos got me going
Especially on you.

How you used to light a Camel
With a devilish grin
And blow your smoke right at my face

Maybe a few smoky kisses,
**** in your scally cap
While you’d snap inhale

Huge white ***** of smoke
Popping out of your mouth,
Right back in,

God how I loved that,
And you knew how your smoking got me going-
Your smoking was always the sexiest.

In our little barn
You’d show off your new tattoos
Smiling like the sun.

I still dream about
The tattoos & cigarettes
We used to share

I carry the runes of you in my pocket
Smoothed while recalling
Your blank walks

A wash of blackcurrant and
Holly in your hair

Wandering aimless by shorn clapboard
and storm kestrels overhead.

I think of your eyes
While watching Venus blink,
Tiny speck of green popping

Out of the witching hour’s emptiness

Distracted by a sweet orb only daring to show itself
in time-lapse Morse code-

City firefly’s shy hesitant glow
of phosphorescent luciferase
Impermanent tattoos in the humid air

Asphyxiated by the hum
of flowing electrons by wayward wings
Vintage and neon.

I sweep your edda into the hearth
Ashen mingling of myrrh
and incense sprinkles its cinnamon

Onto bare exposed brick.

The lightning-scarred tree
with its bullseye of char
Burned inside-out,
Cindered base,
Reminds me of our concatenated dreams.

I touch the ghost of you
Roaming the paths of King’s Chapel
and Granary Burial Ground

Farsick and windtalking to yourself.

I still taste the ozone on your lips
After you rained all night.

I throw the bait of you into the water
and the sunfish of Northwood Lake nibble the worms
of your toes.

And I watch the sawing motion of your thoughts
on DVR over and over
Hearing the fibers tear

Knowing the damage of blades and friction

How your heart will always bear
All ninety stone
of Hunters Lodge.

Outside in the cold
darkness, neck craned
toward Orion’s belt
waiting for streaks
across the sky.
Leonids passing
by, your name
orbits in my mouth
like planetary moons;
shooting stars
reflecting
the past
in your
eyes.

If there is a God,
my God
is a **** brunette.
Doe eyes,
stunning violet,
dark with eyeliner.

Star tattoos
twinkle on her face,
shooting across the skies

of her cheeks. A lower
lip piercing
accentuates

the **** curve
of her pouty lips.
Her lithe body,

also inked,
golden from the sun.
She smokes Camels,

sunlit smoke glowing
as it pours from her lips.
She’d ask me to join her

every time
she went outside
to have one,

grinning when she exhales.
I believe already.
My God.

Warm as the very light touch of frost
cold as the new born sun of tomorrow
intertwined in our opposites we lay
your heart, hotter still
your skin, still alive
I rest, alone
wondering when you will not come

I wish i could decipher
Chemical desires
Do i want your heart
Or is my chest a liar

I can hold your hand
And it just feels warm
Your lips dont have
Me feeling torn

But you can say some
Dorky line
Or you can
Look me in the eye

And you can bet
I cant feel anything
But the clogging of my throat
And my heart fluttering

Ill brush you off
Our of self preservation
I dont know how to feel
Without emmense reservation

Control freak
to
control freak
This will be a duel
Your hand
in
my hair
Using me as your tool

Youll tell me
What to do
Ill manipulate
The scene
Youll be
the cruel master
But youll never
Be mean

I can play
the kitten
Harmless
Just wanting
to play
And then youll
Lose control
From the ***** things
I say

Ive been chewing my bottom lip
Wishing it was yours
Maybe then
I wouldnt bleed
So much

Clipping my fingernails
Down to the nub
Because i want
To paint them black

I cant quit tearing
Out pages
And pages
Of poems

Because
Every
Single
Word
Is all about you