Travel the world
In your books
Movies
Shows
Or real life.

Experience the cultures
You never knew before.

Explore the world
In your books
Movies
Shows
Or real life.

Open your mind
To a new way of seeing.

Adventure the world
In your books
Movies
Shows
Or real life.

See the beauty
You never knew existed.

Journey the world
In your books
Movies
Shows
Or real life.

Meet new friends
You'll never forget.

Trek the world
In your books
Movies
Shows
Or real life.

Make memories
That will seem unimaginable.

Tour the world
In your books
Movies
Shows
Or real life.

Set your wanderlust free
And experience the world as never before.

Don't be afraid to leave the comfort of your home.
You never know what's waiting to be found.

I was thinking about you today


While I was shopping
I saw something and thought of you
And for a moment
I forgot…

I saw your face
In my head
Picturing you opening your gift
And for a moment
I forgot…

I felt you there with me
Knowing you’d be laughing
And for a moment
I forgot…

I forgot you weren’t there
That I’ll never see your face
Or hear your voice
And for a moment
I forgot…

But then the pain crashed in
And my heart broke again
That I’ll never see you again
Because your gone
And for a moment
You were here

I'm not the type of girl
Who flirts to get out of things
Who fawns all over you.
I'm not the girl
To get dressed up
And put on a mask of makeup.
I'm not the one
Who wears her heart on her sleeve
Or pours her emotions out for all to see.
I'm not the girly girl
Into the latest fashion
Or the new trends.
I'm not the one
To get all pretty just for you.

I'm the girl
Who plays tough.
Dirt and grime never bothered me.
I'm the one
To play with the guys
In sports and games.
I'll beat you in your favorite video game
As we eat the fattiest foods.
I'm the tomboy
Who loves to just be comfortable.
I bottle up my emotions
Hiding from them behind a wall.
My exterior is just a facade
Of strength and toughness
Held up by sheer will.

I'm not going to change.
I love me for me
But I hope that you can see
Past the mask that covers my interior.
The passion that hides behind the fence
Waiting to be found.
The romantic who needs a push,
A sign to know it's real.
A nudge in the right direction
Is all you need to give.

Showing me you care
And telling me are two different things.
I'm not the girl who reads up on relationships
Trying to decipher the meaning
Behind every word,
Every movement,
Every little thing.
Instead, I'm the one to take it at face value.
Don't play games with me
Just make it clear as day.
Are you here to stay?
Or are you here to play?

If you're here to stay
Then just let me know.
I can't stand these mixed signals
Hovering between just friends
And something more.
If you're here to play
Then I need to know.
I don't like these games
Of cat and mouse.
I can't stand the doubt
Which plagues my mind.

To me you're more than just a friend.
We've been dancing for 6 months
Between the two stages.
Each time I think I know what's going on
Something you do turns me around.
This dance is getting old
And I'm getting scared.
The more time we spend together
The more attached I grow.
But I'm afraid that I have no right to you,
Because you seem to keep changing your mind.

I'm not a girly girl
I'm not the one to open up easily.
But you're growing on me
And I feel a desire to tell you everything.
But I'm afraid that you'll leave,
Just like everyone else had.
I've been through too much
To wear my heart on my sleeve.
I've grown tough even as I hide.
My emotions squeezed and confined
Want to burst forth when you're around.
I don't know how to tell you this
Maybe I should let you read instead
All my words and poems.

This one’s from the first time we talked.
This one’s from our first kiss.
This one’s from that time we laughed all night long.
This one’s from all those texts.
This one’s from all those late night calls.
This one’s from all those time we went out.

This one’s for every thought.
This one’s for every touch.
This one’s for all those hugs.
This one’s for the secrets.
This one’s for all the tears.
This one’s for you.

My arms are covered in scars.
My arms have wept blood.
My arms are dead.
Just as my heart.
Just as my tears.
Just as my love.

A simple sorry doesn’t erase everything that happened.
A simple sorry just won’t do.
A simple sorry can’t fix a broken heart.
A simple sorry won’t forget a thing.
A simple sorry won't make it alright.
A simple sorry won’t forgive you.

This one’s for you.
Just for you alone.
The scars are gathering,
Climbing across my skin.
Blood is dripping, dripping down.
All because of you.

I'm afraid to speak
Those three simple, short words
That will tell you how I feel.

I'm afraid to think
Those three small, insignificant significant words
That will acknowledge my true feelings.

I'm afraid for what they will mean.
They will make me vulnerable, susceptible to your choice
Your feelings unknown to me.

I'm afraid that you will not repeat
Those three affectionate, tender words
That speak of how much you care.

All I want
Is to hear you say
*I love you

Wake up
Wake up
Its time to go
You’ve said good-bye
Now let’s go.

Eight years of my life
Flashed before my eyes
(But really it was only four)
It was time to leave.

Two weeks spent travelling
A seemingly endless time
Upon return
There’s nowhere to go
No place to call home.

Let’s go
Let’s go
It’s time to leave,
You’ve packed your bags
Now let’s go.

A few weeks for exploration
Then it’s time to meet new people
School starts
And the months go by
I want to be home.

A year is up
So much has happened
I’ve made new friends
And it sort of feels like home
Without the memories.

Goodbye
Goodbye
You’ve made new friends
Now it’s time they leave
Now they go.

A new year has started
More friends to make
New countries to explore
Time flies by
Where is home?

The year is ended
Flights are booked
Home is in sight…
But at journeys end
It feels like a different world.

Hurry up
Hurry up
It’s time to make your second goodbyes
The tickets are ready
Now it’s time to go.

Without a thought
A new year starts
Old friend’s new friends
All together
Not tearing apart.

Another year passes
Where has the time gone?
It’s halfway through the year
Another goodbye
The end of the year; add three more.

Wait!
Wait!
It’s time for me to go
I’m not ready to say goodbye
Now it’s time to go.

The months drag on
As I make new friends
(There are no old)
The year is almost up
I’m longing for a home.

Summer is gone and school has started
New cities to adventure to
Sports in different countries.
Friends have changed
And some stayed the same.

Farewell for now
Farewell for now
It’s time to leave
But I’ll see you all
At summers end.

Friends and drama
Fights are breaking out
All I want
Is to disappear
And go home.

School ends without a change
(Fights and drama surround us all)
A new year starts
Things finally work out
But it’s not the same.

Come on
Come on
It’s time to leave
It’s our last trip
Now let’s go.

Our final year
Things are weird
The truth is pushed aside
Where no one can see it
The year goes on.

Graduation
Nobody wants to be the first
To say the unwanted words
That will bring an end
To the past four years.

Goodbye
Goodbye
It’s time to go our separate ways.
I’ll go here you’ll go there
Now it’s time to go.

9 years have flown by
Now I’ve left and I don’t know who I am
I’m meeting new people
And trying to find my way
Away from everything I knew.

All I know is
I’m American; but not really
I’m Malaysian; but not really
I’m a part of a different culture
Mixed between the two.

Here I am
Here I am
It’s time to embrace the new
I’m here now
Now it’s time to explore the new.

I'm all alone with no one to hold.
One second I'm here
the next I'm there.

Everything used to be so clear.
But now,
now my eyes are closed.

I can't see the light in the sky.
I can't see the way out.
All I see is an abyss of darkness in my heart.

It's all thanks to you.
You didn't listen when I asked for help.
You shied away, even though you knew me best.

Now I'm standing 5 meters away
Watching you watching me,
And waiting.
Just waiting.

Hoping these wings will grow back
with one simple act of kindness
on your behalf.

But I'm falling farther and farther
by the second.
Titanium steel and broken wings are pushing me down.

These masks that hide the emotions
are becoming harder and harder to put on.
All because of a broken promise
from a fake friendship.

This pain that you have helped to cause
is hidden behind a mask.
Making me feel alone in this dark world
with my eyes closed to all
waiting for you waiting for me, to make the first move.
But I'm no longer here,
I'm gone forever.
A lone prisoner in my own life.

When we're together
The world is right.
There's nobody to judge me;
Just my best friend
To laugh by my side.
But here and now
We're in new places;
Places we've never been
Places we never knew existed.
But the biggest change so far
Is that we've been separated,
It might not be that far
But its far enough.
Here and now
I don't have anyone to talk to
No one that can help me
To sort through this jungle of emotions;
No one who I can call a friend.
I miss the people I knew
I miss them even when they don't miss me.
Too bad we can't all be together.
Too bad we were separated from each other.
Why can't you be here with me
When I need you the most,
As I sit here lost and alone,
With no one to hold?

You asked me to trust you
And you expected a reply
I saw it in your eye.
But I hesitated.

You grew worried,
Unsure of yourself.
So I pointed to the shelf
Where all the pictures stood.

I knew that you finally understood
As realization dawned upon your face.
So I told you a story to erase
All of the tension that had built.

You asked me to trust you
And you expected a reply
I saw it in your eye.
But I hesitated.

You asked me questions
As I told my tale.
But all I did was flail
As I tried to explain.

I revealed that I couldn’t trust
Not when friend after friend
Brought an end
To every relationship.

You asked me to trust you
And you expected a reply
I saw it in your eye.
But I hesitated.

They broke me
In ways you can’t imagine
As they left my heart and soul all barren.
I don’t know how to trust.

I want to trust you
But after end and end
You must comprehend
That I don’t know how.

You asked me to trust you
And you expected a reply
I saw it in your eye.
But I hesitated.

If this is what the truth brings,
Then never shall I speak it again.
I hate you.
I don’t need you.
I don’t care that you walked away.
Alas,
The lie hurts as much as the truth,
Or even more,
So never shall I speak it again.
But then what shall I speak?
Riddles?
I do not like riddles,
The meaning is much too hard to find.
Then I shall speak the truth,
For the truth hurts,
But it is the truth.
And if you walk away
After I speak the truth,
Then you do not matter.
Now I'm being honest with myself.
You do not matter,
Even though I care.
Why do I care?
When you do not matter?
Now I'm dissuaded to use the truth,
But it is best.
For now I can tell
Who cares,
And who does not,
And who shall never.
So good-bye to those
Who do not and shall not ever care.

You said you loved me,
but I see no sign of that love,
no sign of that care.

You said you'd always be there,
but now that I need you,
you've walked away.
Where are you?

I need you!
I don't have anyone,
not even you!
I'm all alone.

What happened to your promise?
What happened to tear us apart?

I told you the truth,
thinking nothing would come of it
But the truth
is what happened.

Now we never speak.
Now we never act.
So here we are,
waiting from afar
Waiting for the other
to make the first move...

For those nights when you just want to cry
But the tears refuse to fall
For those days when you just want to leave your bed
But your legs fail to move.

When your mind follows an endless cycle
Of frustration and anxiety
Resulting in a downward spiral of depression
Into an abyss of darkness and self hatred

The only thought being your desire for the emotions to just stop;
The wanting to exist without the feelings;

The feelings of failure;
Constant self condemnation;
Endless frustration;
Unbounded worthlessness;
Inexhaustible mental agony.

When there's a war in your mind
As you battle against yourself
Day after day
Week after week
Constant, never ending fighting.

"What am I doing here?"
That question runs through my brain;
Jumping, dancing, swirling.
Minute after minute,
Hour after hour,
Day after day,
All I hear
Is this one simple question,
"What am I doing here?"

Am I here for the education?
Am I here for the academics?
Am I here for my license?
Or am I here just because?

I think I'd be happier
In some far off land.
But here I am instead.

I think I'd be happier
In some other school.
But here I am instead.

I think I'd be happier
In much warmer climate.
But here I am instead.

Every waking moment,
My first thought is always,
"What am I doing here?"
This usually leads to,
"Why am I in America?"

Minute after minute,
Hour after hour,
Day after day;
It's always the same question,
"What am I doing here?"

I love laying next you
Drawing circles on your hand
As I use your arm for a pillow.

I love seeing your texts
After a long day of classes
Right when I need cheering up.

I love that you make me laugh
No matter what mood I'm in
When you make a silly face.

I love that even when I'm mad at you
It never lasts long
Because I'm always drawn to you.

I love the way you are
When it's just the two of us
Talking by our selves.

I love that you're a giant puppy
Looking for new ways
To keep me entertained.

I love that you check up on me
When you think you've angered me
So you can make sure I'm ok.

I love sitting beside you on the bed
Watching dog videos on YouTube
On a Friday night.

But most of all

I love that the person you are with me
Is kind and caring
And never a ******.

we were 10,
all of us laughing
crying,
cheering,
all of us as one.

we fought,
broken in two parts,
why was it always the same two parts?
it was always me and you against her and whoever else!
why did we let this happen?

we were 10,
all of us fighting,
broken,
saddened,
all of us as two parts.

one had left at the beginning of that year
but i didn't say good-bye
me and you, we left her so we could hang
so we didn't say good-bye

that year
you and her left me for some others
you left me with those we were always against!
how did this happen?
all of a sudden
i didn't know where i belonged!

but before all that
our peace-keeper left
i guess that's how we all fell apart!

we were 10,
all of us crying,
remembering,
saying good-bye,
all of us as one.

at the end of the year,
three more left.
two of which were always against us
one who was just barely one of the 10
but one of the 10 all the same.

now where do i belong?
there are only 6
but the one we always fought with was gone.
so where were you?
we could have been friends again!
but then you left the next year.

we were 10
all of us sharing,
dancing,
singing,
all of us as one.

now there are only two of us
two who are still together.
only 7 of us talk
while the other 3 are not a part of us.
is this where i belong?
because you are no longer part of those who talk.

i have new friends now
but how do i share,
or laugh,
or cry,
or dance,
or sing,
or remember,
or say good-bye,
or cheer,
or even fight,
or even be sad,
without being reminded of you

you were always there
but then you left me for her
you left me by myself
how do i ever get over that?
how do i learn to forget?
how can i learn to trust again?

you came to visit
but we didn't speak.
i guess it's both our faults.
or is it?
once i forget you i can trust
but if i forget you, i can't remember
what happens when you trust too deep.
how do i fix this?
how do i get over this?

the only solution i see
is to never forget
and to never trust properly
but then nobody will trust me
i guess its time to move on
and be real to me
instead of real to the 10

we were 10,
all of us laughing,
dancing,
singing,
crying,
saying good-bye,
remembering,
fighting,
sharing,
cheering,
saddened,
bro­ken,
all of us as one
but now

now we are all 10
all of us our own

i shall remember the 10 as we were
but never shall i make the mistake
letting you manipulate me,
control me,
force me,
rule me,
or even blind me,

as this all leads to us
being pretend friends
and only when were apart
we finally see this.

now we are 10
all of us our own.....

Why can I still feel your hand holding mine?
Why can I still hear your voice inside my head?
I thought we were through with all this
I wanted to forget everything
But for some reason
It keeps coming back.

Your lips against mine.
The way you say my name.
It was supposed to be over
I didn’t want to remember it
But it’s still there
Inside my head.

Why do I still see you when I close my eyes?
Why do I still look out the window expecting to see you?
You ended all this
I was finally moving on!
But for some reason
You came back.

The way your face dances in the dark.
Its 2:30 and you’re waiting just for me.
You said it was over
And it’s been two months.
But still you’re calling,
I want to go back to you.

everyday i die a little inside
everyday i put a smile on my face
waiting for the chance when i don't have to pretend.

that chance is that special day
once a month, or one in three weeks
that day specially marked for you.

this is the day when i can just let everything loose.
the day when i NEVER have to pretend
because i'm with my best friend.

everything is bottled up inside me
waiting
waiting.

it explodes the day before
when you say you can't come.
when i realize that i can't take this mask off.

i just need someone to trust
but there's nobody
just you and only you.
my best friend in the entire world.

i miss you
i need you
can't you just listen?

I wonder if I don’t text you first
If I don’t call you first
If I don’t message you first
Will you keep talking to me?

I wonder if I don’t start every conversation
If I don’t make an effort
Will you still be in my life?

Being the one to always start
I wonder what would happen
If I simply chose not to be the first.

How long would it take you?
To call me,
To text me,
To find where I am?

Would you notice if
I never came back
I never called you again
I never made my presence known?

Sitting here alone
Day after day
I wonder
Would you really care if…
…
…
…
…
…
I never came back…?

You always knew when I wasn't okay
You could always tell with just one look
Then you'd sit down with me
And just listen no matter how long it took.

You were the only one
That would say, "Tell me the truth"
No one else has ever been able to see through this facade

Now that you're gone
I feel just as lost and alone
But even more because nobody's been able to see me
As you always could. 

You always knew
And found a way to cheer me up
Even though we grew apart
And had different friends. 

You always knew
And could make my day with just one hug
Just one smile
Just one small conversation. 

These people I call friends
Have yet to figure it out. 
I keep missing you
While waiting for someone els to say, "Tell me the truth"

You always knew
You always knew.

You say you hate her
You say you wish she didn't exist.
But what you don't understand,
Is that she's the same as you.

Why do you hate her?
She has the same personality!
She's just another person.
Why not just walk away?

It would save you the trouble
Of having to listen to her.
So just walk away
Or deal with it.

You're just the same as her.
Just another girl.
Trying to get through school.

You're the same as her.
And understand,
That in a year's time.
No one will care.

Not me,
Not her,
Not you,
Not them.

So just walk away
And deal