I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
I ran to you for help
For someone to talk to
For someone to listen
For someone I thought cared. 

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
I never thought of the day that you'd graduate and leave me behind. 
I knew I'd miss you
But I never realized why. 
I thought it was simply because you were my best friend. 

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
I miss you more than ever
Now that I know I won't see you again
That you won't be there for me
That I don't have someone to talk to. 

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
But I never thought of you leaving
I never thought we'd stop talking
I never thought we'd stop being friends
I never really thought. 

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
But I never looked past that day
That week
That year. 
I never paid attention. 

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
I was wrong
I took you for granted
And never thought about the end of school
I took you for granted. 
Always thinking you'd be there.

She fell off the side
Of the steepest cliff. 

She holds onto the edge
Hanging on for her life. 

But her arms are tired,
So tired. 

She's been holding on 
for so long now. 

Her fingers are bleeding
Just like her heart. 

She's slipping
So slowly
Oh so slowly

The world seems a much better place
With you here

I dream about you in my sleep
I clutch your hand holding mine,
As your arms wrap me in a tight embrace.

I dream about you in my sleep
I hear your whispered words in my ear
As your lips lay kisses across my cheek.

I dream about you in my sleep
I feel safe in your presence
As you stand by my side.

I dream about you in my sleep
But when I wake I can’t see your face
As I realize a dream was all it was.

I dream about you in my sleep
But when I wake I remember you were a faceless entity
An imaginary lover of a long forgotten time

Hush child let me tell you a tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

There once was a girl
Who believed in the paranormal
And would turn at the slightest sounds in a whirl.

Hush child and listen to my tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

She would always turn on a light
To illuminate what lay in the shadows
When she went about in the night.

Hush child and devour my tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

Living alone was she
When the darkness sought her out
And attempted to corrupt her psyche.

Hush child, now listen closely to this tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

As she left the door to her room
She froze where she stood
As she gazed upon her doom.

Hush child, pay attention to my tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

There stood a man in a top hat
Across the hall
He seemed ready for combat.

Hush child, do you hear the truth in my tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed?

The man stood across from her
Staring and nothing more
But his dark silhouette was a blur.

Hush child, hear now this tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

As they stood there
Watching one another
The girl felt a flair

Hush child, accept my tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

The girl took a step back
Closing her door
With a resounding SMACK!

Hush child, for this is my tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

The girl was frozen and feeling insecure
Staring at the back of her door
For what she felt was simple and pure.

Hush child, it’s almost over, this tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

The man in the top hat
Across the hall
Radiated evil, pure and simple as that.

Hush child, the end is near of this tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

She stood staring at the door in her room
Never wanting to leave again
For fear of having an early tomb.

Hush child, give ears to this tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

There once was a girl
Who believed in the paranormal
And would turn at the slightest sounds in a whirl.

Hush child, just listen to the tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

She would always turn on a light
To illuminate what lay in the shadows
When she went about in the night.

Hush child, this ends my tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed.

She lives in fear of the ghost
For she knows he will return
When she thinks she is safe the most.

Hush child, do you believe my tale
Of a ghost and a girl
When darkness assailed?

Speak up
And speak out.
Say what you mean
And mean what you say.
Don't be afraid
To let your voice ring out.
Be clear
For all to hear.
And never doubt
That what you have to say is
ALWAYS
Worth expressing

Talking with each other
About the randomness of the day.
Going from topic to topic;
Conversation is easy.
Being with my friends
Everything feels right.
When you walk through the door
My heart flutters at the sight of you.
Ignoring their reactions
All I see is you.

Laughing and joking
Our tendencies to show how much we care
Slip by others who don’t understand.
Light shines through the darkest abyss
Bringing happiness and joy.
You sit beside me
Letting me hold you as we watch videos.
One wrong thing
Changes everything between us all.

Curling into a ball
Leaving the world behind.
Hurt and despair take over
Nothing else breaks through.
All you had to do was sit there
Right beside me.
Instead all you did was focus your hate;
Directing it towards him.
Tension built making every movement uncomfortable.
Why should I be uncomfortable around you?
Why should I be uncomfortable in my own room?

Tears fall down my face
As you are consumed with your hatred.
You don’t acknowledge that here I sit.
You can’t show emotion
Not while he is here.
He makes everything seem unnatural.
Why are you so focused on him?
Why can’t you lay here beside me
As we always do?

Now I’m pleading.
Please stay here with me.
Please pay attention to me!
You didn’t come over to see him!
You came for me!
I didn’t know he was going to be here.
For once, can’t you just try to be nice?
At least for my sake?
I don’t care if you like him or not
All I want is to lay beside you
With your arm as my pillow
As I run my fingers through your hair.

As I sit here waiting for you
Thoughts run through my head.
What will you say?
What words will come out of my mouth?
What if you don't say what I want to here?
Will I have the courage to leave?
Will I be able to move on?
But what if you say what I've been wanting to hear?
What then?

The nerves are stopping my heart
Anxiety is creeping in.
I don't know what to say to you
I don't know what to do!
This conversation is a must
I can't go on
Not knowing what will become of us.
Are we even an us?
Will there ever be an us?
This flirting and talking
Is bringing out my insecurities.
Its bringing out all my doubts,
My issues with trust.

Please tell me all is okay
Please tell me what I need to hear,
Don't let me hang
Or sit around waiting,
Just waiting.
I can't go on
If we don't figure this out.

As I sit here waiting
Doubts and anxiety creep in
My insecurities are showing.

When we first met
We couldn’t stand to be around one another.

When we first met
Your boyfriend and I were best friends.
Making it hard to be around you both.

Finally we started talking
Realizing how much we had in common
And we became inseparable.

As the years flew by
Our friendship solidified.
But then the day came when you had to leave.
I was the last to find out
But only because it was impossible to say good-bye.

That first year we talked and talked and talked
Bust as the days passed,
The conversations died.

It’s been four years since you left,
But unlike then,
We never talk.

I tried to arrange a day to talk
But again and again
You blew me off.
Now here I am
1000 miles away
And you still won’t say
A single word.

I thought we were best friends…

I know that we are just friends
But when you walk into the room,
A smile creeps across my face.
It comes from nowhere
And it won't leave;
Not until you're gone.

When you sit down next to me,
My heart starts to pound;
How can you not hear it?

Our talks end up blocking others out;
We enter a world, a world all our own.
We talk about everything and nothing
All at the same time.

But most of all
What I must confess
Is this:

Every time we touch;
An accident,
A tap on the shoulder,
A brush on the leg,
A brush of the arm,
Or the hand,
A squeeze of the hand,
Or a tap on the leg,
To say hello
Or even goodbye,
My heart beats as fast as a train;
My hands become all clammy;
Words take a while to form;
Butterflies fill my stomach,
Churning my innards.
How, I wonder,
How can you not see?
Isn't it written across my face?!

I know we're just friends,
But I wish we were so much more.

Congratulations!
It’s finally over!
You’ve climbed the mountains and trekked the canyons
Now it’s time to meet the future.

The past four yeas
Have been challenging and rough,
But we’ve chosen our careers
And high school’s not enough.

University’s on the way.
There are many more paths to tread
And more adventures to slay
All widespread.

We’ll be all across the world
Some here and some there
Not knowing the next place we’ll be hurled
But we’ll be well prepared.

We’ve all known each other for a while
Some longer than other
But through the years our lifestyle
Will keep up close together.

Our travels and experiences
Will unite us
Across the long distances,
Shortening the crevice.

Congratulations!
It’s finally over!
You’ve climbed the mountains and trekked the canyons
Now it’s time to meet the future.

Don’t tell me you’re open minded
When you squeeze your eyes shut
At the mere idea that you *might be wrong.

To my Daddy on Father's Day

When I was young and small,
I was your *little girl.
As I grew and grew,
I stayed your little girl.
Now, 18 years later,
I'm still your little girl.
When I am twenty,
Thirty,
Forty,
Fifty,
I will still be your little girl.
No matter where I go,
Or how old I grow,
I will still be,
Forever and always
Your little girl.

You were my cheerlearder,
Calling and whistling from the stands,
Since I was smaller and tinier
Than all those who played.
You were my coach,
Helping me and teaching me
Giving me confidence
Showing me what it meant to be an athlete.
I took what you taught me
And applied it to my life
Making me,
Forever and always
Your little girl.

You were my personal chef,
Teaching me to love the finer foods
And that cooking is an art.
Healthy and not
Food was to be treated specially
Cooked and baked just right.
Nothing has ever compared to what you have made.
Spoiled and exposed to the best
Making me,
Forever and always
Your little girl

You were my supporter,
When I was upset and had nowhere to turn.
You taught me to be tough
And to be strong.
You said I could do anything,
Be anything I wanted,
That being a girl made no difference.
You taught me to love myself,
To take care of myself
To defend and stand up for myself,
Making me,
Forever and always
Your little girl.

When I was small and tiny,
I was your little girl.
As I grew,
I remained you little girl.
Today
I am you little girl.
Tomorrow and the day after
I will be your little girl.

No matter where I go,
No matter how old I grow,
No matter where you are,
No matter how old you are,
I will
Forever and always*
Be your *little girl.

Happy Daddy's Day
I love you <3

There will be days when everything goes wrong
There will be days when you cry yourself to sleep
There will be days when you just want to end it all
There will be days when you wish you didn't exist;
When you wish your father or mother or sibling didn't exist
There will be days when you question how you can keep moving on.

But on those days, I want you to remember:
You've survived this long
Why give up when you have made it this far in life?
You may not have lived each day but you have survived
Survive just another day, so that you may live many more.

What you don't seem to understand
Is that healing is a process.

Depression doesn't go away in a night
Not even a month or two months.
Yeah, I may be feeling better on some days
But I'm not all the way there.

There is a process
Which I haven't finished yet.

I've come to realize
Most of my problems originated with you.
I'm trying to get better but you are still getting in the way.

Your nagging, your constant pressure
Is spiking the anxiety
Which is causing a downward spiral back into my abyss.

But you know what the worst part is?
You don't even notice.
You don't even listen when I tell you.
You don't even try to understand.

Did you even think about the consequences?
Did you even think that I would care?
Did you think that you would hurt me?
Because you did hurt me.
Now we're not friends.

Did you even think about my feelings?
Did you even think that we might not speak again?
Did you think I'd stay?
After all that you did,
You thought I would still stay.

Did you even think about caring?
Did you even think that I might believe you?
Did you think I'd come crawling back?
I don't want to speak to you again.
There is too much pain.

This is all because
You lied.
All because you said you cared
When really it was all just a dare.

When did I become a joke to you?
When did I become the person you build up and up,
Only to tear down piece by piece by piece?

When did you start thinking it was okay to mess with my mind?
When did you start thinking that I was the perfect person
To break down and humiliate?

First I became your diary,
Then I became your therapist,
Next it was the advice giver
(Even though you never listened),
And now I’ve become the one you pretend to make plans with
Only to cancel at the moment you're supposed to arrive.

What gave you the idea that any of this was okay?
I’m so tired of the drama you bring.
I’m so tired of trying to help when you won’t listen.

I don’t think I can do this anymore
I don’t think I can be your friend;
Not if this is where it leads.

We planned an entire day,
And yet, here I am,
Writing this poem while watching TV
As I sit at home alone.

If you were looking for my breaking point
Then I can congratulate you on finding it,
You’ve finally hit the last straw.
No more!
I’m done!
This isn’t what friends do.

Just leave me be
And I'll leave you.
Me and you
Were through.
You ruined my friendships
You ruined my year.
You yell at me,
Ignore me,
Pretend to like me.
And yet I know,
What is really happening.
We used to be friends,
But now were not,
All thanks to you,
For ruining my life.
So leave me now,
And never come back,
Because I don't like you,
And you don't like me.

Why?
Oh, why did you have to interfere?
I was happy!
I actually had a friend.
There was someone there to hold my hand
Someone to talk to.

Why?
Why did you have to come along and ruin it all?
I didn't have to pretend!
I was truly happy!
There was something to look forward to
Something to hold back all the pain.

Why?
Oh why did you have to come back?
I was so happy!
I finally opened up and trusted them.
Everything was perfect between us
But you came out of nowhere and the picture was broken.

But then you came along.
You always come along at the wrong time.
I've lost so much
But you're never there until somethings comes along
Just so you can interfere.

How can you fail
At something that calls to you;
Calls to your core?

How can you fail
When you try your damnest?
When you give everything you have?

How can you fail
If you want something so much?
If you believe it to be your future?

How can you fail
When all you've given for a year and a half
Hasn't been enough?

How can I fail
If all I want is to succeed
And to have a future?

so high
so far.
it's a long way to go.

these broken wings
they won't last long
i'm already starting to fall.

after all that i've been through
just to stay strong
it's too much to lose

and yet i'm falling
fast and far.
there's nothing left to hold me up.

these broken wings
have fallen apart
now i'm falling
falling
ever so fast
ever so far.

Your words like honey
Drip slowly from your mouth;
Sweet and delicious.

Your hand touching mine
Holding me like a flower;
Gentle and delicate.

Your actions like words
Telling me who you really are;
Caring and kind.

Your breath like wind
Blowing around me;
Swirling and cool.

Your touch like chocolate
Drawing me in;
Addicting and intoxicating.

Your smile like a rainbow
Spreading across your face;
Wide and reassuring.

Your embrace like a blanket
Encompassing the loneliness;
Comforting and safe.

These are the things I fall for
Over and over again
As you lay here beside me.

Five years.
So much can happen
In that amount of time.

Five years ago you left.
Five years ago I thought I'd never see you again.
Five years ago seems a life time away.

Four years ago I found new friends.
Four years ago I didn't know how I'd get through.
Four years ago is so far away.

Three years ago I wasn't sure who my friends were.
Three years ago I saw you again for the first time.
Three years ago is so far gone now.

Two years ago I thought I found a new best friend.
Two years ago you came to live with me for a few weeks.
Two years ago is a distant memory.

One year ago I was shunned by my friends.
One year ago I said a final good-bye, unsure of how long until I would see you again.
One year ago is something I'm holding onto for the years to come.

Four months from now I won't have any friends.
Four months from now you and I, we will be reunited.
Four months from now is a future I'm grasping desperately.

Five years is a long time
To go without a best friend.
To go without my sister.

In a short span of months
We can finally see each other!
We can finally stop saying good-bye.

The next four years
Will be the best!
We won't have to wait and fly thousands of miles just to see each other.

From Prague to Kuala Lumpur
Takes so much time and is so far
We only see each other once a year.

Manhattan to Bronx
Doesn't take so long and is not as far.
Now we can see each other whenever we want!!

Five years.
So much can happen
In that amount of time.

But now,
Now we are together
Once again.

All I want
Is to forget about you.
Forget
Forget
Forget
You ever existed
That you ever came into my life.
Forget
Forget
Forget
You meant something to me
That I cared about what you thought
Forget
Forget
Forget

if you're my friend
then why do you never listen?
if you're my friend,
then shouldn't you care that i'm hurting?

i thought we were friends
because i have always been there for you.
i thought we were friends
because i stood up for you.

if you're my friend
then why do you always talk over me then laugh when somebody else says the same thing
if you're my friend
then shouldn't you at least pretend to care that this is the way i am?

i thought we were friends
because we did almost everything together.
i thought we were friends
because i showed up to your dance recitals.

this is not a real friendship!
this is only one-sided.
can a friendship even be one-sided?
can i ever just walk away?

the day that you realize
how much of my hurting comes from you
is the day
that it will be much too late.

friendship is both people caring
both people listening.
friendship is both people being there
both people taking away the pain, not causing it.

what we are
is not friends.
it's time to say good-bye
so good-bye, it was nice to know you

Happiness is the joy of the world.
Happiness makes the world go ‘round.
This feeling is hard to feel
Hard to pretend.
When it’s real
It makes a big impression
But when it’s not
It’s hard to tell.
Why can’t you see the difference?
I finally have.
The light in my eyes
Is real this time.
It’s there
For all to see.
How can you not
See the difference?
I guess you never saw the real thing
Until today,
Until this moment.
Now you know what to look for
Now you know the difference.
So pay attention.
Call me on it.
Tell me that you care.
Because you don’t seem to care.
Not now,
Not ever.
So be happy that you know.
So be happy that I told you.
Now help me
Be me.
Help me find me.
Help me.

My heaven,
is only mine
My heaven,
is your hell.