The Hopeless Romantic...

You lust me,
But you love me not.

I want to know your deepest secrets, and the passions that make your heart soar.
I want your love so much..
oh so much,
that it brings me to the floor.

I want to sleep next to you,
and write sweet poems about you when I can't sleep through the night.

Then I want to read them to you,
while you're awake,
So you can hold me tight.

But instead you choose the other girl.
Because you always do.

You'll swipe up on my pictures,
and tell me sweet nothings you think I want to hear...
Lust after my body,
as if my mind wasn't here.

I'm the girl you lust after,
not the girl you love.

I'm a hopless romantic,
because I know i'll never find someone who loves me for me...

I wish apologies were rewinds
that could go back to that place in time.
& make everything alright.

To go back to that kiss,
In your arms,
And feel blanketed in your warmth...

But instead I think back to that point in time,
Where unfortunately there is no rewind.
Forgiveness is in my heart,
But it also remembers to tread lightly.
It makes me think.

Think about you.
Think about me.
Think about the way things used to be.

I wish apologies could take it all back,
but in reality there are no rewinds.
Thankfully,
Things continuously move forward.
Even with trepedity.

To never be good enough is an indescribable feeling.
No matter how much you want happiness, you feel like you never deserve it.
People can reassure you , but deep down in your heart , you know it's true.
You're useless
You're good for nothing.
You can't do even the simplest mundane task without feeling worthless.
The world would be a better place without you.
Your existence means less than a grain of salt.
With no rhyme nor reason,  why are you still here?
Are you meant to serve a greater purpose?
Maybe.
You just can't fathom it yet.
Your mind is useless too.

Why can't you love me back?
My hearts beats for you.
Everything I've done is for you.
Every move I make,
and turn I take,
leads to you.

But you don't love me back.

The love I've shown you...
countless days,
nights,
hours,
minutes,
seconds,
I've spent with you-
mean nothing if you can't love me back.

All my dreams lead back to you.
I can't think of anything but you.
You posess me -
body
mind,
and soul.
And I just want you to know,
I have to go,
if you're love for me doesn't show.

We have so much history -
At first it was bliss,
but now it's misery.
I wonder how sweet it is to be loved by you...

Can you please show me?
Give me a reason to stay,
I want to wait and see,
how great we can really be.
I'm not done with you yet,
although I should be.

But I still remember that first kiss,
the first time our lips touched...

But when I showed you my heart,
you could not show me yours.
No matter how deep I dig,
and loyal I stay,
you're love for me-
isn't here today.

I can yell at my pen,
pull at my hand,
but there's no words this paper can comprehend.
My thoughts are stuck in a box,
stubbornly clustered together,
not willing to talk.
I try to persuade them,
but they crave my inner creativity,
not the monotonous reality I live in.
They want to dance in the rain,
swim in the ocean,
or even find a mysterious love potion.
But I can't take them there -
I don't know how to piece them together,
It is as if my artistic streak vanished in thin air.