you meant a lot to me until
I realized your body runs cold.
you meant a lot to me until
I recognized the ways you are bold.
you meant a lot to me until
I heard the number of times your voice cracks throughout the day.
you meant a lot to me until
you spoke of things you were initially afraid to say.
you meant a lot to me until
I saw the way you laughed.
you meant a lot to me until
I saw some of your chosen paths.
you meant a lot to me until
you told me the secrets you forgot to keep inside.
you meant a lot to me until
I stood by you while you cried.
you meant a lot to me until
I heard the mistakes you made in the past.
you meant a lot to me until
I discovered how different you were from the last.

you meant a lot to me until
all your flaws were laid out to see.
but after all this time I've realized
you don't mean a lot,
you mean everything to me.