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JOEY Oct 2018
We had driven each other crazy
We had hurt each other so badly
We just were not the right ones for each other
The old versions of ourselves deserved better
We needed time to heal
We needed time to grow

All we could feel is pain
We were full of regrets, of hatred, and of questions
Today, I can say
The horrors of the past are finally free
Now that we’ve found the missing pieces of our puzzles,
The past can rest

The better versions of ourselves are now with the right ones,
With the ones whom we can love better than we ever did before
With the ones whose patience, understanding, love, and everything in between, are more long-lasting than ours before

All I can feel is happiness and gratefulness
Thank you for all the memories we had shared
They might not be the best ones
But I have learned and grown a lot
I am still deeply sorry for all the pain I had caused you

But dear,
Everything worked out just fine
And that's what matters
rhymes are not really meant for me. i tried. and failed miserably. but i don't care.
JOEY May 2018
Woke up, yet again
At this ungodly hour

Unhappy thoughts lingering at the back of my mind
Unhappy memories still haunting my heart
Unhappy horrors bothering my soul

All of these redirect me to you
You, whom life has offered to me
You, whom He has given me
You, who made everything worth it- the pain, the faults, the sorrows
You, the one whom I love dearly

You, who wipes away my tears and my fears
You, who makes me happy

You were not the escape
You are my sanctuary

I love you, despite this messed up piece
I love you, because of who you are
I love you, even with the chaos that is myself
JOEY May 2018
Pero paano kapag si teacher naman ang nangailangan ng tulong?
Paano kapag si teacher naman ang nahirapan?
Paano kapag hindi na rin maintindihan ni teacher ang mga pangyayari?
Paano kapag si teacher mismo napagod na?
Paano kapag ubos na ang pasensya ni teacher?
Sinong iintindi sa kanya?
Mauunawaan ba siya ng mga musmos na nangangapa pa lang sa buhay?
Paano kung si teacher mismo naliligaw?
Kaya bang sagipin ni teacher ang sarili niya?
Kakayanin niya ba?
Kaya niya pa ba talaga?
Kaya niya ba talaga?
JOEY Apr 2017
Naaalala mo pa ba nung huli kang naging masaya?
Yung totoong masaya
Maayos yung buhay mo
Maayos lahat
Masaya ka
Aminin mo, naging masaya ka talaga

Alam mo yun?
Yung pagod ka pero masaya
Pero ngayon?
Pagod ka na lang
Pagod kahit walang ginagawa
Pagod kakaisip

Ano kayang nangyari kung nag-isip ka nang mabuti?
Nag-isip ka nga ba talaga?
E wala, puso na naman

Tatlong beses mo sinunod puso mo
Kasi doon ka masaya?

Tatlong beses mo sinunod puso mo
Oo naging masaya ka
Pero ano nangyari sa huli
Diba’t nasaktan ka lang?

Tatlong beses mo sinunod puso mo
Sinundan ka ba ng kasiyahang hinahanap mo?
Ano nangyari?
Hinabol ka ng mga kagaguhan mo

Ngayon, mag-isa ka na lang
Mag-isa ka na ulit
Mag-isa ka na naman
Takot ka na naman
Kaninong kasalanan?
Diba sa'yo?
Pero diba 'yan naman ang gusto mo?
Ang mapag-isa?
Ang maging duwag sa putanginang pag-ibig?
Ang sarilihin lahat ng problema mo dahil ayaw **** may ibang madamay?

Pero hanggang kailan ka magpapalamon sa takot mo?
Hanggang kailan mo sasaktan ang sarili mo?
Kailan ka ulit magiging masaya dahil sa tamang dahilan?

JOEY Aug 2016
Sa lahat ng mga bagay na nawala
Sa mga oras na nasayang
Sa mga tawanan at kwentuhang hindi na mauulit
Sa mga luhang hindi alam kung kailan titigil
Sa mga pagkakataong pinalipas

Totoo nga
Hindi sapat ang pagmamahal
Kailangang paghirapan at pagtrabahuan
Pero paano mo nga ba masasabi na mahal mo talaga ang isang tao?
Kung puro sakit na lang ang nararanasan

Hindi sapat ang pagmamahal
Sa dinami-dami ng dahilan para umalis ka sa isang relasyon, bakit ka nga ba nananatili?
Dahil sa pagmamahal na pinanghahawakan mo?
Pero paano kung yung ka-isa isang dahilan kung bakit ka nananatili ay nararamdaman mo nang unti-unting nawawala?
'Wag mo nang pahirapan ang sarili mo at ang minamahal mo o nagmamahal sa'yo
'Wag **** hintayin dumating sa punto na wala nang matira sa inyo pareho
Hindi tama ang "ibigay mo ang lahat"
Tandaan mo na bago ka magmahal ng ibang tao, kailangang buo ang sarili mo

Sa isang relasyon, dalawang tao ang dapat na nagtutulungan
Hindi isa lang
Hindi isa lang ang masaya
Hindi isa lang ang umiintindi
Hindi sapat na "gagawin ko 'to para mapasaya siya"

Siguro nga, mahirap talagang magmahal
Pero ganun naman talaga diba?
Pag para sa taong mahal mo, lahat kakayanin mo
Pero sapat nga ba yun?
Dahil paano ka magmamahal kung ikaw mismo ubos na?
Paano ka magbibigay kung ikaw mismo wala na?

Hindi ka nagmamahal para buuin ang isang taong wasak
Hindi ka nagmamahal para baguhin ang isang tao
Hindi ka nagmamahal para may maipagyabang ka sa mga kaibigan mo
Hindi ka nagmamahal para waldasin ang pera ng magulang mo

Nagmamahal ka para sa ikabubuti ng pagkatao mo at ng minamahal mo
Nagmamahal ka para malaman mo kung bakit ka talaga nandito sa mundong 'to
Nagmamahal ka para maging masaya, hindi para maging miserable
Dahil kung gusto mo lang din naman maging problemado, maraming problema ang Pilipinas na pwede **** atupagin

Kung nagmamahal ka na lang para masaktan at makasakit, hindi na yan pagmamahal
Ang pagmamahal ay hindi katumbas ng pagpapakatanga
Oo, may mga bagay na magagawa mo lang dahil sa pag-ibig
Pero kung magpapaka-tanga ka na rin lang, hindi mo ba mas gugustuhin na matuto at malaman ang mga mas importanteng bagay sa mundo?

Totoo nga, there's more to life than love
Hindi mo kailangan madaliin ang pag-ibig dahil marami pang pwedeng mangyari sa buhay mo
Marami ka pang makikilala
'Wag **** paikutin ang mundo mo sa isang tao na walang kasiguraduhan na magtatagal sa buhay mo

Bakit hindi mo muna buuin ang sarili mo hanggang sa dumating ang taong magmamahal sa'yo na kapantay ng pagmamahal na kaya **** ibigay?
JOEY Jan 2016
I used to be a cheerful girl
My friends when I was younger described me as "jolly"
But I grew up as a *******
I explored the world of pain, I traveled the road of sorrow
I cried myself to sleep and woke up with heavy bags under my eyes
One day I realized I was depressed
I even became suicidal and my friends didn't like it of course
They wanted to understand me but even I couldn't understand myself

Sure, I am surrounded with the people who care about me
But maybe, I am better off alone
Alone in my world where I won't bother anyone, only myself
And now I am isolating myself, keeping everything in private
Having Facebook for academic purposes only because apparently, ultimate self-expression is not allowed there anymore
Having Twitter and Instagram and other social networking *****, I mean sites, just for the sake of keeping the memories
But really, if I wasn't very sentimental, I would have deactivated every single account I have on the internet

The cheerful girl that I used to be is trapped inside the sad person I have become
I've been choosing happiness as much as I've been fighting depression
It's true that one's self is responsible for making decisions but in my case, it's not because I chose to be like this
The mess I have become was beyond my control
"Choose happiness, fight depression"
Sure, sure. As if it is that easy.

I hate myself.
For being weak.
For being a coward.
For being so stubborn.
For being stupid.
For being myself.

Will sorry ever be enough?
Can being a human be an excuse?

Will my depressed self ever find that cheerful girl?
That girl who used to have a lot of dreams
That girl who used to live life to the fullest
That girl who used to laugh all the time, even at the littlest things
That girl who used to have such a big heart
That girl who used to be happy

Or maybe, just maybe, she's just really... gone, gone, and gone.
JOEY Jan 2016
It's not about losing people anymore
It's about being not good enough
They say they want to know you more
But when they do
And when they see your imperfections
And when they feel how difficult it is to be with you
And when they just couldn't handle you anymore
They get tired
They give up
They leave
Just like that
And you start to realize
They only wanted to know you
But that doesn't mean they intended to stay
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