I have kissed boys

Girls

People in between

But lately I have been kissing bottles

Their lips are colder than yours

But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest

Yet as these toxins rush through my veins

I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin

Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me

But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin

While heartache

Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know

Whistling a tune
Whilst the ocean waves good bye;
Forever stuck in my own mind.

My thoughts are too loud,
deafening even,
Like an eruption in my skull.

Lonely:
An ocean waving both good bye and hello.
Pointlessly waiting for a response.

what is there to do,
besides- sleep -nobody listens anyway,
So like the ocean, I retire as the moon rises:

slowly,
I,
creep,
back,
into darkness.

Every day is another fight
With words twisted into knives
And sentences hurled like spears
I can't stop it
Anger lives in my like Lava in a volcano
Spirting ash and smoke till it finally explodes
I want to go somewhere else
But where can you go when everyone is so far away
My soul calls for freedom
Like an abandoned bird calls to its flock
But it never answers
And is out of my reach as the ledge of stability slowly crumble beneath me

Every sip I take
Every bad choice I make
Nothing makes me forget
That every single time
..
I break

I am forgetting about you.
Your smile has gone away.
No longer written on your face for me to see every day.
It's getting easier for me day to day.

I am forgetting about you.
Saved memories emerge from time to time.
They're full of colors of you and are easy to find.
But are fading away to darkness as if I were blind.

I am forgetting about you.
No more haunting smiles in dreams.
No more deep brown angelic eyes that made my soul scream.
Because I couldn't have you in my arms under the sunbeams.

I am forgetting about you.
That part of me is dying.
That part of me walked under the moonlight and was crying.
But there you were in the clear night sky simply shining.

I wonder if I will forget about you.
I think that part of me will not die.
I think that part of me will stay alive.
Nothing left for me but endless goodbyes.

as a kid
there's nothing
like wasting away inside a tiny
room
sitting on the backrest
of the couch
looking out the window
and seeing her
tread through the rain

a red umbrella covers
her.

Mother

she's going back
to the liquor store