When I get to school and see the marching band on the field, I know I have financial literature first period.
When I get to school and see you working at the pool, I know I have AP gov first period.

But when I wake up to rain and you’re far away from me, I’m not even going to get out of bed.

I turned the engine over and drove to my place. Not my house, my place: MY place, where I can listen to albums and stare out across the city.

I climbed up through the sunroof to get out in the raw air, it’s a broiling 95 degrees but so much better than being inside. Cars move on I-80, stopping and going. The sun hides behind the west mountains and leaves ribbons of brilliant burning orange in the sky and reflected in the great salt lake. I can see for miles in every direction.

This moment is so cliché
and stupid
and fantastic
and freeing.

I wonder how I’ll survive this heat. One day at a time, just like everything else.

Thinking about you is like watching the sun set over the most beautiful place on earth. Your colors painted across my sky and lit up my world with sensation. You amazed me like a hundred different colors that changed with the position of the sun. I’m just laying here staring at the moon and dying to know if you felt the same

Kissing with my eyes closed because I know you inside and out

It’s weird to look into someone else’s eyes for the first time, makes everything feel different. Makes me feel empty when I think about you, makes me regret the decisions I made to leave you, makes me regret the things I did because my stupid cold feet got in the way.

The guitar riffs are loose and free, the universe wraps me in love and the stars glow gently on the top of the car which I stand on. With no one else around it’s just you and me alone, I sway ever slowly and sing my favorite song to you. We have our disagreements but I swear it’ll all work out. Surrounded by the lush darkness of pine trees and mountainside, I only wish to close my eyes and feel the things I cannot see

I sit up in bed. The memories of silent nights together in my car possess me and throw me into painful longing. I’m taken back to the long school months where we spent the miserable cold nights together. only the stars watched us, only the radio listened in. We were fearless high schoolers with nothing to lose, but now in unbearable agony my throat burns before I sob, looking at the same stars we kissed under,  thinking about it like it wasn’t just last month...

Classical music makes life feel so important

Sometimes I lay in bed and weep when i look at the number of days i have left with you.
Sometimes is becoming more often.
Sometimes I listen to lofi and write you poetry you’ll never see.
Sometimes is becoming more often.
The point is sometimes I miss you- bad. because sometimes I just want to tell you the truth. Because you see, you’re going out of state but you’re spirit is still with me. And you have to move far away but I will crave your warm kisses when the seasons change and the weather outside vaporizes my breath. I will have to keep occupied because I’ve got it for you- bad. And tonight I need a long hug before you go home.

I chase my tail writing the same things over and over, it’s always been you.

I always want things to mean more than they do.

I carry so much on my shoulders but am too scared to share with anyone else. No one can be trusted with the heavy things I hold so close to my heart.

All the things I never said are written in poems I’ll never publish.

following the gentle blue sky through the canyon, I’m chasing the last moments of sun between
waxed skis and marshmallow powder
through winding paths of
glittering snow in the early evening sunlight
tall blue shadows and cold toes pave the way to my favorite place

I love the way you talk about the sunset, the way your hands gesture to the sky as you brush the color back into the midnight stars. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world right now. I just want to stand at the top of this driveway, under thousands of stars, and fall in love with you

wish I would’ve waited until I met you to have my first kiss

You were a portal to all the best parts of my past, I wish I would’ve just kissed you. I want to feel it in my chemistry, I want my peace of mind back, the part that you stole when we stopped talking so long ago. You have so many answers and so much familiarity and I can’t help that I want to hold you for so long In the driveway tonight. Give me that feeling again, your arms are so protective and comfortable. With my chest against yours I could search for your heartbeat as long as you don’t pull away. Why did you ever leave, why did it fall apart in our arms... the moon cast violet shadows of us on the concrete and in tonight’s clarity I promised I wouldn’t ever let this love die again

I miss the moments we were alone and everything was so quiet. When you held my face in your hands and looked deeply, lostly, into my eyes. Standing in the kitchen you pulled me into your chest and it felt like the weight of a trillion pounds was relieved off my mind. I’ve been keeping busy but there’s always enough time to think of you.