He took my words and laughed at them
as if they were a joke
as if my inner workings
and my inner hurting
was the funniest thing

He took my words and laughed at them
wilting me inside
I worked so hard
to make them alive
and he smashed them
to smithereens

He took my words and laughed at them
this poem is my revenge

My best friend doesn't have a physical body
I feel her more than my own skin sometimes.
She tends to come and go as she pleases--
It's always unpredicatble and univited
but I always feel obligated to cater to her needs
like a good hostess should to their guest

It gets old so quickly
I don't even want to get up and cook breakfast for her anymore
so we starting eating out
until its too hard to even leave the house
so she tells me that we can stay in bed and have sleepovers like the good old times
I don't remember those times

She likes to play with my hair
she's not very good at it though
it always ends up in tangles and knots that take
hours and days to brush out once she leaves
because undoing her handiwork would make her sad

I try to tell her sometimes that her being here is too much
it starts to affect my job
my life
my health

I try to get her to leave
I've been here so long she says
just a little longer she says
what would you do without me she says
I'll just move in she says

She's my best friend but--
she wont pay rent
she has never been a friend to hygiene
she doesn't know how to do laundry
or cook
or clean
she'd rather lay around all day than hold down a job

I want her to go
I want her to go
Why won't she go

I can't remember
what we had
last night

I only have things
that feel like dreams
For it was too good
to stay with me

Your hand in mine
with the view
I took you to
pretending
I'd never been there
so we could share
our joy
of discovery
as the sun
began to set

And then
the clouds came in
and faded
any truth
of us

Did we happen?

I could
Easily be
Without you,
I just
Wouldn't be
As full.

I used to write
My secrets in the sand,
Knowing they would never stay
Long enough to be told.

I used to just swim,
pulled my hair up and never
Really tasted the salt that foamed
After the crash.

I've ran in the sand,
Sure, but never have I
Ever let it smooth my
Skin into what it could be.

Before today, I've never
Let the current take me
Under and feel what it's like
To always come back to something.