Everything is how it should be
My writings been sparse
My thoughts not so much
My hairs turned coarse
My wardrobe hasn't been clutch
I can't find the time between
Hardship and anxiety
To let you get the best of me
But here I am
Crying over coffee
Because you decided it wasn't me

its that special time between
the winter and autumn
when its sometimes snowing
and there’s no sunshine
to come leaking through
the clouds are thick at this time

Trembling hands
Hands turn to ice
There's ice in bones
Present in my bones
But not in my heart
In my heart I try to find hope
Hope of tomorrow and
Hope for the future
The future without so many crutches
Crutches that I need now
Now is when I wish
I wasn't born into this

its days like these
i wish my life was an ease

do i only make it harder
harder on myself
allowing all thoughts
to stutter through my day

its days like these
that every thing goes wrong

do i only see it that way
that every thing ruins my day
when nothing has tremendously gone wrong

its days like these
i wish i could easily take a walk
to make all the racing thoughts stop

do i only let them continue
letting the brain’s juice stew

I open up your door
What I see there is a beautiful face looking back at me
Aside from my reflection
I do also see a cherry blossom tree
In its beginning stages
Something we picked out together
And the first thing we decided on
For the outside of our home
Something significant there
How we weren't even together
When we made that trip
Figuring out how to put a tree in an SUV
Now we're here...
I'm looking out your door
You, you're right beside me.
Just like you've never left.
Because you never really did.

Opened up and vulnerable
There's no turning back now
I fear that I have to be able
My feelings, they just have to allow
All of the past, is just that
The past doesn't last
It's what the future holds
Like the letters of love
Only they're in bold
Outlined in silver slithers
Here I am,
Open and vulnerable
Hoping my soul does not wither