Repeatedly, I have gathered you.
And yet you still fall, **** leaves, you're like a floating fault!
Killing me softly with your incessant grin;
Endlessly gloating: "I've got more where they've come from!"
Declares MN as she blows her windy, willowy waves of air through the trees; nice breeze but...






"Come on, give me a break!" I shriek.

Mama,
how did you hold me
when my hands were full of thorns,
when my voice was storm and silence,
when I shut every door
but yours?

You stood,
a lantern in the hallway,
like a lighthouse, guiding me home.
When I called your name in ash,
When I broke what you had built,
and still—
you never asked for the past.

I remember you in fragments:
the hum behind my fever dreams,
the arms that knew no armor,
the eyes that saw the boy beneath
the war I wore like skin.
I spat my sorrow,
you swallowed it whole,

'Told me love
is not afraid
to kneel.'

Now I write you in the quiet,
where guilt and gratitude entwined,
and I pray you knew
that every sorry
was mine.

Mama,
your love was the sky—
and I was rain
'falling wrong,
falling wild,
falling home.'
No matter how
this storm would hurt you
Mama, I know—
You will always
love me,
even at my worst.


Erennwrites

You ever get that sudden surge?
You  Don't know where it came from
A salty pulse behind the eyes
That swells
Then leaves your skull
A smell
A taste
A tune
A movie
A wave from those
That have gone on
A hail from heart to brain
From where
They now belong.

~
I like the number 2,
so much in fact
I like it twice,
as in 22.

Now 2+2 equals 4,
but some say 2+2 equals 5,
It's quite the moral conundrum.

Still 5 is a cardinal, a prime,
why the Pythagoreans
thought of 5
as the marriage
between heaven and earth.

I empathize with 5 though,
for that's a lot of pressure
to put on a single solitary digit.

But I think I like him too,
he's a friend of 10,
which reminds me of
fingers, toes and Bo Derek.

But let's get back to 2,
which supposedly is company,
and 3, you see, is a crowd,
yet odd first and foremost
--Mersenne knew best, I guess.

Which brings me to 1,
small, but positive,
coveted, but united,
a face of multiple identities.

And should any other number
devise against it,
they would have no
success at all
--none, zero.

To be honest,
I think 1 likes 2,
and vice versa,
they're a complimentary couple
--both highly dutiful
and attracted to each other.

After all, it's said, "Someone may overpower
one alone, but two together can take a stand against him."
~

My Motherland, my mother,
Your heart is a boundless sea,
The kindest love you've offered,
Pouring endlessly on me.

In seasons fair and darkest night,
Your gentle hand has guided,
A constant, unwavering light,
In your warm embrace resided.

Yet shadows creep, the terror's touch,
A cruel and chilling reign,
Seeking to take far too much,
Bringing sorrow, bringing pain.

But sweet mother, strong and true,
Your kindness never wanes,
We stand as one, devoted to you,
Breaking these terror's chains.

This pest, this foe, we'll drive away,
With hearts united, righteously,
Together, till the final stand,
United, hand in loyal hand.

Today, It's mother's day...
Beautiful flowers, wishes, gifts,gratitide.
But what about tomorrow?
The world moves on...

Where did the respsect go?
Where did the grateful words hide?
It Faded away right?
Just like the echoes of the loud wishes.

But what about the pain of nine months?
What about the scarifices of the endless nights?
It's all gone right?
Just like the whispers of promises.

Good and bad —
Light and darkness —
Day and night —
I've tried to be divine,
And I've run from evil,
Or so it seemed...

But the evil within me —
Wouldn't leave;
I pray,
I repent,
I accept shame
as my cloak;
I shrivel the goodness
Unseen...

I split,
Disconnect;
Become a kaleidoscope
of regret.
Days lost
in a fruitless
quest —

Isn't it easier
to just
Embrace the evil within me?!

No one loves
a wilted balloon.

Chin up,
they say
You may float again soon.

Who will offer their air
to the wilted balloon

As she stays earth-bound
And dreams of the moon?

We eat a piece cheesecake out of a bowl together,
two forks.

A moment ago you were a puppy
and gave me kisses on my cheek.

I was broken today,
I wonder if you knew.

- And I would never burden you with my healing,
that is my own sacred task, my own journey -

But between toothy forkfuls of cheesecake
and puppy kisses,
I forget, for a moment,
the moaning of the howling winds.

Your beaming smile
Reaches the dark cracks inside me
And fills them all with shining gold.

I would never ask you to heal me,
but without trying,
you do.
With your radiant light,
you do.

It’s a beautiful day,
A Saturday.
One of those effervescent Spring afternoons  that buzzes with sunny activity,
a neighborhoodly kind of
picture perfect blue sky kind of
everything’s gonna be okay kind of day.

I stare at it from the corner of the couch,
through the window at the lawns across the street from the corner of the couch
and look down at myself.
*****, covered in soil from head to toe.
So bright, too bright out there
through eyes that have been languishing overlong in the deep brown black of the underground,
behind masks and walls,
closed for fear of opening.

They dazzle now and squint,
watering at the light,
not watering,
crying, crying,
etching riverbeds upon my ***** face.
How long was I down there?
Dreaming awake and automatic,
watching her water the houseplants and
comfort the friends
and rock the child
while I shoveled earth over my living form
to protect this vulnerable animal,
to bury bury bury it.

The noise doesn’t reach me
there in my cocoon.
It threatens now to crack my fragile sanity; though madness I would greet as an old companion.
I reject the invitation beckoning me from somewhere deep inside,
push push push it down,
and wave to my neighbor through the window
as he mows his grass.

It’s a beautiful day,
A Saturday,
and my senses pulse with indignation against it.
Back to the dreaming
where I will wrap my mind in cotton
and try again tomorrow.