reach out to the stars
pluck light from the sky
shine your way onward
never let darkness reign

I guess I don't exactly know what I want to be
I don't know what I think the definition of physical beauty is
Because there are people I see with very flouncy curly and glistening golden blonde hair
Then I see Asian girls with their glossy raven black locks
I see girls with STUNNING blue eyes
And girls with magnificent hazel eyes
I see two of my friends who have brown eyes like me, only they have these BEAUTIFUL maple eyes
I see girls with heart-shaped jawline
I see girls with rounder jawlines
I see girls with tiny waists
And curvy girls
I see girls with cute little smiles
And bright, wide grinning smiles
ALL OF THEM ARE SO BEAUTIFUL
I don't even know WHAT I want to be
I just know that I wish there were a celebrity
Who existed
Who was WILDY adored and loved by everyone
Who was successful and never criticized
Who was not necessarily UGLY
But was undeniably not particularly traditionally physically pretty
But her soul was LOVELY
Her personality was imperfect
And she ******* up
But she was still a GOOD PERSON
and her values and what was inside her was what made her so globally popular
Because maybe if I stopped seeing everybody as so unbelievably BEAUTIFUL
then I would stop CARING that I was so hideous
I just really wish
"Pretty" didn't have a definition
But varied
You could look at someone
And what each person found pretty
Was COMPLETELY different
because I care way too much
because I hate hearing that I am "pretty" when I so clearly am not
but it's even worse when I hear that I'm not
Or if someone edges around it by saying: But you are a beautiful person INSIDE
avoiding admitting that I'm ugly
I hate hearing about how ugly I am
because it reminds me
but I also hate hearing about how supposedly "pretty" I am
because immediately in my head
that little voice that sounds exactly like my own
except very cruel and sadistic
The mean-streak part of me
It whispers in my mind
THEY ARE LYING TO YOU
YOU ARE UGLY AND HIDEOUS
AND NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO CARE ABOUT WORTHLESS YOU.
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT WHAT SOCIETY DEFINES AS PRETTY
YOU ARE WORTHLESS AND UGLY.
DON'T LISTEN TO THEIR PROMISES THAT YOU ARE PRETTY
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT.
that is all I hear in my head.
or if I hear OH BUT YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT
the voice whispers: did you recognize that? Hear it? See it?
They specifically avoided saying you were physically pretty
So whether they are right or not about what is more important, inner or outer beauty
They have still admitted to you
In an underhanded way
That you ARE ugly
they have confirmed what I have always told you
YOU ARE NOT PRETTY
YOU NEVER WILL BE
and do you know what?
I don't care anymore about what is important
I want to be physically beautiful
It's like when you just really want cake
it might be unhealthy
It might not matter
It isn't good to obsess over
but you JUST WANT IT
you want it so badly
and you can't function properly without it
until you have that desire given in to
but I can't tell them that anymore
so they don't have to lie to me to spare my feelings which makes me feel awful
or so they don't have to be honest and either tell me I'm ugly or edge around it by bringing up inner beauty and using a BUT before it
because that makes me feel even WORSE
I will not talk about it anymore
I will just let it dominate my poetry
because I must write
I must WRITE to keep it from consuming me
that is all I have
If I can't speak of the pain anymore
I must write.
that is my escape.

This is not so much a poem. This is more a revealing of a high that comes from taking the liars down. This is not about reposting ones own work under multiple accounts (I don't understand it and I don't get it but you can't steal from yourself...) This is a story of being able to show ones true character by pointing out that what they write, how they bask in the muted sunlight of another's ignorance to their thievery, just leaves them looking pale!*

You see me as a troublemaker
storming your made up works
just trying to influence your friends
that your not that kind of girl
You see me as an interloper
just jealous of your success
Little Darlin' I don't care for you
except for exposing your lying cheating ***
Stop garnering your self esteem
upon backs that are already broke
Stop making people believe
you suffered what you supposedly wrote
Honestly! If you are impressed
and feel heart whole, then simply,
Say thank you, I feel what you wrote
I feel you wrote it for me

Just don't steal their words
and let everyone think
You're a master poet/ess
All you need to do
is
link...

There are times which you feel lonely and low,
Times where you gotta put your foot down and say No,
Dont ever stop and think about the times which went bad,
In the end the results will make you sad.
so Just Look forward to the days ahead,
Dont let the pain spread.
Its you who decides what goes On,
once those people that dragged you down are gone,
youll be free then ever so wait till then,
so close your eyes be calm and count to ten.

I   do  not ofttimes descry such rhymes as thine,

lest I should divest all remembrance

of the inequity of tragedy and aching anxiety,

and thence my wretchedness wouldn't digress in tearshed.


And if my misfortunes can't cleanse my substance

in my weeping, mourning this bittersweet feeling,

then when at my last gasp of breath I'd be distressed

if devoid of the joy that you employ in your poem.

Hug a black boy while you still can.

Before he's ripped from your arms,
Torn from your womb
Thrown into a cell
Beaten in an alley
Hung from a tree
Shot down in the street

Hold him and pray for his safety
Pray for his return from the gas station
From school
From work
From life

I held a two year old and as he tried to squirm away I thought of how much love I had for someone in such short time
How this body holds so much value to me and so many others
He matters, he's only two but he matters just as much as any other human being.
His black skin beams along with his smile and I couldn't imagine life without this black boy.

So why can't our government see that?
Why can't they look at our black boys and love them unconditionally?
Protect them unconditionally?

Our black boys matter.
Hug them while you still can.

Everyone has a mask that they put on
Wearing it between the twilight and the dawn
When we’re with the people that we know
The only thing we can do is go with the flow
No one can know how damaged we are inside
Our true feelings, we must always hide
Only when we’re completely alone
Then and only then can the truth be shown
Everyone has a way that they let it out
Some of us cry and some of us shout
Some of us just want to be on our own
Some of us brave it and pick up the phone
Sometimes, we all just need someone to talk to
At these times, it doesn’t always matter who
It just has to be someone who understands
Giving you a much needed hug, holding hands
When you break through somebody’s mask
Entrusted upon you is a delicate task
Help them, because inside everyone’s fragile
Everyone has in their soul a raging battle.

///
when you feel shame insight
the foolish road trends to misguide
you can discover an apple
inside a dark basket

I sigh too long to lose the time
that could make a space between us
the clock is unmanageable,
the horizon grew gray

yesterday night turned on,
the sleepless romantic torment-
I made my hand long,
too long to hold my dreams

where there you were standing
behind a wall,
very thick, and dark
shuttered my eyes

I grew gray
underneath a dusky black moon
finding myself within you,
no focus point imagined

the forgotten days clapping
mystic, bleeding on the red carpet
turned too dark when storm wind
closed the windows-

dreams uttering on a blue sapphire
till the twilight has broken
making a waterfall on a rising sun
but coming closer into a vain of the vale--

///
@ Musfiq us shaleheen