And I said to her
Those lips could tear worlds apart
as she smiled that smile.

Amorous gaze still not returned
Still hoping just
Undecided
You'll just  serve as the muse for a poem you'll never hear recited
Do I get entangled in the infatuation
The unrequited love, the obsession
Let his rejection send me spiraling into self doubt and depression?
Oh not I
Yes I will cry I will feel and I will write
Ill stare at the bruises on my inner thigh left from his bite
Ravenous
Raiding my temple
And me
Loving
Every second of it
Every angle,
Everything it meant and yes even everything that meant nothing
everything that meant nothing beyond that moment,
the hungry,
delightful,
destructive and wonderful moment.
collection of moments.
No, I've never been great at collecting.

I'm selfish
I can't bare to see you in the arms of another
I'm selfish
I crave the taste of your tongue
I'm selfish
I need your arms wrapped around me tight
I'm selfish
I hold you back from what you could become
I'm selfish
I won't let this end
I'm sorry
I'm too selfish to let you move on.

To walk beneath trees
wreathed in yellow-green
and not sigh
To dip my toes in a cold
pond as dawn blooms
and not look up
To see a spider, bright green,
scramble up my arm
and not marvel
To watch as wild rain
bursts through thunder clouds
and not shudder
To step atop a dark blue
sea, death swarming beneath
and drown only in fear
To not know God.
To not know life.

Your perfection is an illusion.
My faults are real.

'Trust' is the stitching
that holds my fragile
parts together.

Whispers of what we share,
like confetti in a breeze,
cannot be recovered
once carelessly set free.

Don't release me to the wind,
I beg you.

~~~

Feeling useless,
ugly hues
colouring in,
yellowing bruise
happy days
thoughts are wistful
mirrors lie
bitter fistful
saddened eyes
in ghost camera shots
wanted: ‘beautiful’
connect the dots
minds a scramble
at mirrors perception
feeling lonely
life's deception.
undeserving
of affection
can’t comprehend
seek perfection
take a breath
smile and hide
the bottled fear
you keep inside
life is short
accept the flaws
love yourself
Retract the claws.

His name purred on her lips; 
She loved the way it
Rolled around on her tongue,
Loosened her vocal chords 

Every time she said 
his name aloud,
It felt as though she were 
Becoming more and more
Well versed in him; 
His character,
His very being