Do you ever think of me too?

I wonder; are you a warm,
Nightly summer breeze -
Or chilly and full of colors
Like the autumn leaves?

What are you going through?

Do you tell a tale of tidal
Waves, brave in the face
Of roaring seas - naught
But shipwrecks to chase?

I can’t wait to meet you.

I know not if our love will
Be easy or instant, or if
We’re two broken puzzle
Pieces that’ll somehow fit.

All I know is this -
It’ll have been worth it.

At the start of July,
I sought for the twilight sky.
Amidst the murky cloud,
A little spark shines through the shroud.
A glittering, lustrous orb,
Gleaming like a beacon of hope.

Oh, little lost girl.
You have walked;
Left footprints in
Barren soil and
Scorching sand;
Traversed legions
Of unpaved land.

You found beauty
In all of this pain;
When your bones
Kept breaking and
Left trails of blood
On every stone -
You’d step again.

You always step again.

For 5 years you fed me
With a silver spoon
At least 3 times a day

I didn’t know how good I had it
Until I was hungry again

When I was 19 with seven dollars to my name
You brought me grilled cheese
And donuts with sprinkles
And other sweet little nothings
For me to digest

You filled my plate
You left space at the table
I was nourished
I was was never full

I was greedy
I wanted every last bite

When I was 24 and full enough
You fed me your dreams
You said eat it up baby
And I did

I swallowed them whole
I felt them slide down my throat
They’ve been sitting at the pit of my stomach ever since

When you swallow bubble gum
It doesn’t leave your gut for years
I still feel the heaviness inside me

The cotton candy artificial flavoring
Bright pink and nostalgic
But really just an accumulation
Of all the parts that had gone to waste
The remnants of a carcass

I still full
Still thankful to have had this meal

When I try to feed you
A returning of all the favors
I crush up my favorite parts of me
Hoping to sit inside you for years to come

But you take the spoon into your mouth  and wince
Your face turns red
I can see you’re not breathing
Not reaching for help either

I try to give you the Hielmlic
To get back what I had given way
Maybe had I presented it better
Red and shiny and sweet
Maybe then we wouldn’t be here
Choking
Empty
Alone

We had been at sea for what felt like decades
In a tiny boat the size of a life raft
we sat for weeks on end in silence
just staring
hoping to see land before insanity
the incessant picking has always been a problem
my thumbs, his downfalls
and now, this boat
almost unconsciously I began to pick at the lining
until tiny little holes started to let water in
I tried to avoid it
sit on the holes
fill them with fabric
I took the shirt off my back to try to save the ship
he looked at me as if to say, good luck with that
instead, he said he had to get to work
he stood up in the boat like getting off the train
and walked straight into the water
I've lost track of how long ago that was
But I'm still here, clinging to what was once mine
to what is drowning me slowly

There is something
so wildly broken
about her.

Safe under clutching hands;
Such wild, easy, effortless touch.
Ruin unending, it nears.

Run, little lost girl.
Don’t tell him how you feel.
Tuck it tightly, in a bottle
With a ship and set it off to sail.
Brave the hurt of cold waves
Til the tide succeeds to peace.
Tested waters and gone too deep?
I suppose only time will tell.