Your face

is the portrait

I would paint

if I was blessed

with the gift

of artistry.

I fell in love
with poetry the day
it became the only thing
I understood.

I curl up into a ball
buds molded in my ears
and cry to the beat of the music
My wound filled tears
I try emptying myself
Of this anguish
of this pain
of this desire
to be consumed by darkness
because I know
I truly am afraid
and no matter what you say
Baby, it won't go away.
I'm drifting
and I hear it in my head
you saying "its going to be okay"
and how all I could do
was push you away
Feeling in that exact moment
my heart beginning to break
I grab hold of my beating chest
the musics ringing now
and as the lyrics
fill my head
of a song about love saying
every word of how it feels inside
I melt
deep into the wrinkles
of my faded sheets
and lose myself a little more
just as every other time I weep.

In order to love me,
Strength needs to be stronger than diamonds.
I have none, and I will use yours as if claimed
By a blood oath.
In order to love me,
Your arms need to embrace me in a way that makes me feel safe.
I care none about lust and skin,
But the love and purity behind it, the emotion and connection.
In order to love me,
Accepting my pain, my scars
Is priority. My demons are a part of me,
If you love me, you love them.
They are beautiful, fiery things, and they burn me.
In order to love me,
Your kiss needs to speak to the small part of my mind
That still has rationality.
It needs to say, "I love you,
I need you. I am here for you, I believe in you."
In order to love me,
You need to be you and be the kind of person that
Treats me like a flowerbed.
Lovely. Gently.
Carefully.

She opened me up
and let the butterflies inside
of my stomach
and my head
and my toes.
She let the light back in,
where the light has not been
for a very long while...
I am in love with her.
Kissing is enough (sometimes)
and touching (is sometimes) not necessary
and looking into her eyes is definitely enough
to make every single cell inside of me burst
from osmosis and love.

She knows me like I know the stars in the sky.
I know her like she knows vinyl.
She can read me better than I read books.
And I can make her wake up in the middle of the night
due to the sound of seduction in my voice
during the day.

Leigh, I have fallen for you.
You are intoxicating me.
I never would have thought that
I could be filled up again with happiness
and love and joy and those **** butterflies...
You make me want to draw like Picasso
and be just as intelligent as Einstein
and make poetry like Lang Leav.

Surely, I have shown you the love I feel for thee.
"I love you's" and random cards and flowers and
kisses and touches and poetry and my voice...
I love you so much, you mean more to me
than any star in the sky.

You are the beauty in the sky from dawn to dusk
and the sweetest voice from the angels in heaven.
You are truth and lies and so many things I
am addicted to. You are something I have
added to my list of addictions---
But, the best part of this "addiction" (love) is that
you are amazingly good for me.

Some may say no (due to being homophobic)
but I guess that is their problem.
I guess all I am trying to say is that
I love you Leigh.