I have a problem
It isn’t a secret, but it isn’t something you’re likely to know
You see, I can’t cry
I try and I try
But, the tears never come
And my riverbeds stay dry

I don’t really remember when it started
This isn't how I was before, I know
But, did something happen?
Is it something I’d rather forget?

Did I break?
I don’t remember breaking
But, I’m broken nonetheless

Are tears like glue?
Could they fix what shattered?
Am I scared that if I repair myself I’ll remember?
Remember?

It’s not that I don’t want to cry
It’s just that, the tears don’t flow
They build up in my eyes, and it aches
I want to cry… And it hurts

They say real men don’t cry
Well, I guess that makes me a man
I suppose I became a man years ago
But, it wasn’t my time!
I had no choice
Just like that, I grew up
And now I feel old, worn
Tired, torn

Did I use all of them?
Where did they go?
And, what exactly made that river flow?
All these thoughts and questions run through my mind
The headache has already begun
I want to cry
But I can’t
They- the tears
They don’t flow
Don’t flow
Won’t flow
Can’t flow

No one would suspect
No one knows
It’s not a secret
But no one ever asks why you’re not crying

Little drummer boy in my class
Ratta-tat-tat
Beating on his desk
Tappity-tap-pat
Keep the beat going friend

I've never spoken with you
But your knocks tell me everything
You are so pumped, excited
Today's the day
And your poor pencil gets to be your outlet for your excitement

The teacher tells you to "knock it off"
He doesn't get the irony
Mister, don't you see that he's trying to?
Regardless, that energy has to go somewhere
So now the pencil goes to work
On your paper
I can see the hearts, and the unmistakable names

Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap
Now your leg goes to work
Like a jackhammer on the floor
Little Thumper, if only she could see just how excited you are
The flowers in the bag, the sign propped up against your desk
A smile creeps across my face
As my mind drifts to my own experience

Thump-thump-thump
Now my leg goes to work
Like a contagion, the room is infected
Love is, after all, in the air

I am an open book
So take a look
Maybe you'll like what you see

Or, maybe you'll ignore the message
And only see the typos, the grammar infractions
The mistakes I made along the way
In my little novel of a life
Because the book isn't about the order or meaning of the words right?
It's whether or not they are done "correctly"

You could read me so easily
I don't try to conceal it
For the most part
Sometimes
Occasionally
But that doesn't matter
Read the material I've provided you with
Even if it doesn't tell the whole story

My heart is on my sleeve
Look at it, anyone could tell I've been in love
By the scars in its flesh
You can tell it's been broken
But that's alright
You can also tell that someone has mended it

I make my intentions clear
I'm not here to hurt anyone
But myself
But that isn't intentional
For the most part
Sometimes
Occasionally
But that doesn't matter
I'm here for you
Talk to me, I'll listen
I want to help

Do you think of me?
I think of you
Yes, you
You who are reading this right now
I might not have ever met you
But I can guarantee that you have crossed my mind
Mentioned in my prayers
'Cause I'm thoughtful like that

One of these days, someone is gonna read this book
And be spellbound
Glued to the pages
Can't wait to find out what happens next
Desperately wanting to be a part of the story
At least, that's what I hope
And I'll be happy to include them
You don't have to watch from behind a glass pane
It won't hurt you
For the most part
Sometimes
Occasionally
But that doesn't matter

Just, don't burn the only known copy before it's even done
I don't want to disappear in a puff of smoke
Not just yet

Read me
Tell me what you see
Because when it comes to myself
I am tragically illiterate
The illiterate author
Of a tragedy

I remember you
You were the sun who lit up my day
You were the stars that lit up my nights
You were, for all intents and purposes, my guiding light
So how come I can't see now?
It's dark where I am, cold
What happened to you?
Where did you go?

I remember you
You were the warm coat on my trek through the tundra
You were the breeze that cooled on those hot sunny days
So why can't I get comfortable, no matter what I do?
I find no solace here
Where did you go?

I remember you
You were the wind at my back
The staff in my hand
My driving force through this thing called life
But now, I don't want to move another step
The path has become twisted, gnarled
Where did you go?

I remember you
You were all I thought of
When I imagined the future
You were the wonderful today
The exciting tomorrow
But now I cannot imagine seeing you again
So I write this lover's lament
Where did you go?

I remember you
And all our wonderful memories
I remember you
And the love we shared
I remember you
I don't want you to forget
I remember you
...
Where did you go?